AIBU

In my family there has been a lot of unpleasantness in the past about things given away and then the giver regretting it later.

Now if I am giving something away I take £1 (or even 10p) from the friend and give back a signed dated receipt for the item.

This means that we both understand who legally owns it.

If this sounds over the top, be grateful that you do not have relatives like mine.

For Heaven's sake forget it! You gave her the bag but regret that you did. It became her bag instantly at that point and she can now do what she likes with her own possessions. You have a problem with thinking it's somehow still 'yours'.

My sister had this problem in the past. She'd give me things (not lend them, I'd check - and she offered, I never asked for them) then she'd demand them back much later on. It happened several times over until I flatly refused to accept anything from her. I also told her exactly why - because of her 'problem'!

Brilliant idea ...??

123Kitty is right, I don’t know what possessed you to give it to her, but you did, so now it’s hers

I agree, she sounds quite cheeky, and not a very good friend, but I think you just have to accept that you gave it away, without any conditions attached, so that’s that!

Sorry - you gave her the handbag so it's hers to do with as she wants.

Ask your friend if you can borrow the bag for a special occasion as it matches an outfit and see what she says.

So she knew
1) that you didn't realize the monetary value?
2) that if she admired it, you'd give it to her?

3) she's a user.

Get your purse back. Then drop her like a hot rock.

I wouldn't be pleased if a friend did that to me. As other posters have suggested, I'd buy it back or at least enquire about it so she knew I'd found her out.

She doesn't sound like a very nice friend at all.

I think it was so kind of you to give the friend your handbag.
However, if she is now selling it on eBay that is disgusting.
She's not what I would call a friend.

Having said that, have you looked to see if it's been relisted?

I wouldn't think the bag sold on ebay Jeanlizzie. I've just had a look on there at Vera Bradley handbag for sale and the ones sold. These bags have had and there are bids starting from around £2.50. some with bids placed up to around £20.
One bag on Buy it now £28 and one other £38ish.
If it's any consolation they are worth on average to buyers approx £10. I can see that the multi coloured ones are the most popular but I would still doubt that an offer was made either unless it was a rarity.
You have a look on ebay and then decide if it's a lesson learned or the end of a friendship as only you know if this lady is worth hanging on to. All the best xx

I'm really curious now! Will it turn out to be your bag or not. I have heard of people who sell on things from the various 'free' sites.

you are a kind softy. I agree face to face will be fun!!

Definitely tell her you've seen a duplicate bag on ebay and, as you wished you'd kept it, you are going to bid the top price on it. Then tell her that next time you meet up you can both go out with the same bag (like twins, for a laugh!) and see what she says. If she admits she's the one selling it, then ask for it back and end the friendship. Don't do nothing as you will always have doubts about her.

You gave it to her. Its hers. If you really can't let go of stuff don't give it away.
You did a nice thing. She may or may not have done something a little less admirable. That's her problem.

excellent suggestion miss adventure

Well if it is your friend, then you are not being unreasonable....but find out the truth first.

Think I would WhatsApp her saying, that handbag I really loved and when one I was happy to see your joy at receiving it I have misse it sorely. I have seen one on eBay, should you ever think of ridding it, I’d be happy to buy it back. I feel you will have been totally honest. Your ‘friend’ has the opportunity of saying, yes it’s me hadn’t realised how much it’s meant, I’ll post it back. What ever way, it does leave a nasty taste. Good luck would love to know the outcome.

If you have lost her details simply put an advanced search on ebay so that anytime this particular sort of bag comes up for sale you will be informed!

If you can go back to seller on ebay's site, go to their other items for sale and then on the left hand side then go to sold items and completed items (one at a time). This will give you an idea if it has sold or not. If it has not sold you can still message the seller (via another item they have for sale. You can simply say you are contacting to enquire about 'the handbag' plus description and ask if it is still available!
It may be that she realised it was you and has withdrawn it from sale. you can add her to your watched sellers and you will be able to see if she relists it a later date. I do hope it is not 'Your friend'. I know I would want to know either way!

I think she may indeed have admired it but genuinely found the bag didn't "work" for her after all.
I'm sure we have all had beautiful things that just were never quite right for us.
Clearly she isn't going to tell you this so maybe, if she's an Ebay person, selling is the obvious thing to do. It's generally when you want to sell something you check the price.

So, what to do? I would contact her (as usual) and ask how she's getting on with the bag. Then just say you have been missing it a bit (very good size, nice handles, convenient zips or whatever) and so are thinking of replacing it. Say you are happy for her to have it as she clearly loved it, but if she gets bored of it or it doesn't work for her, would she please consider you before it is "recycled" elsewhere.

It may be a relief to her to give it back (maybe not straight away but in time). It may have been withdrawn from Ebay because of misgivings about listing it (if indeed it IS her).

Then I'd keep an eye out for another bag you might fancy. Unless you want to pay £60 should it come up on Ebay again!

You won't be the first to give things you love away out of a generous spirit and you won't be the last. Just remember, whatever happens, it was a kind and loving thing to do and speaks volumes about the person you are.

I'd buy it back - just to embarrass/teach her not to try that again. Assuming it is her, of course.

Mind you, some people have such brass necks, nothing will ever embarrass them. So if she dropped so many hints that you felt you had to give her the bag in the first place, I suspect she's one of the brass-necked brigade.

Those bags do look gorgeous! We are all agog to know the outcome. I still say if you want it back do ask her for it.

Sometimes it's great to find something a good home. I just gave my DSister a beautiful velvet dress which is slightly tight on me but it's perfect on her and I wouldn't have worn it again. She was so pleased. Result!

Ask a friend who doesn't know this person to make contact and get the address, then you will find out if it is her.

Not quite the same but I gave away some furniture free because I thought I was being kind and helpful to someone in need and like you have recently seen most of it on eBay. It’s happened to me twice now and has made me am much choosier about giving things away since.