Adult daughter moving away

Maybe we need to have our own little support group.

It's hard very hard I left my family in South Africa many years ago mother father sisters nephews nieces I came back to England with my husband and daughter no other family here it sucks but u just get on with it cos u have to feel for u

We’re with our daughter and 1 year old granddaughter in Melbourne at the moment. Our daughter’s been here since 2010 and we manage with a mixture of us going there and them coming to us. Our son his wife and 2 year old granddaughter live 200 miles away from us so we have no family close by. It does get easier with time and thank goodness for WhatsApp. I do find that the 11 hour time difference at present is hard but when it changes to 9hrs it’s easier.

It is difficult but you’ll find a way to cope. We save up so that we can visit every year and we FaceTime every week. This doesn’t compare with seeing them but it’s a lot better than a telephone conversation.
One of the things I have found hard to tolerate is thoughtless people who when they hear where my son and his family live make crass remarks along the lines of ‘aren’t you lucky to be able to visit’ ? No, not lucky but coping with a situation I have no control over. Good luck and start saving now!

I can’t offer advice but know you will miss your daughter .

All I can say is with face time and the telephone you will still hear her voice, know she is happy and you will be able meet up again in the future x

Couldn’t agree more Patticake123

It's so common now almost everyone we know has a child living abroad. Sometimes they cone back. Some move around.
Our DS migrated to NZ over 10 yrs ago letting us down gently by saying it might not be forever.
So far they've been back about 4 3times and we've been out twice. Her DP are here too thank goodness.
We speak very often by video calls and follow our DGS probably more than the ones nearer!
I recommend going out fairly soon so you can see where they are for yourself and can picture them.
We helped clear their garden and plant it up.
?
It's such a great lifestyle they have, outdoors and camping, we are truly happy for them.
Saving up to go next year.

Not 43 times. Whoops. About 4 times.

Well I left my children ( adult ) and went to live in France just to turn the tables.

Quite honestly my heart goes out to people whose families are split up. We were thousands of miles away from DH's family and ok only a couple of hundred from mine but I
always hated it. We are really happy that currently we live reasonably near to both our grownup sons and one granddaughter and I hope and pray that the situation continues.

I am in the midst of a similar experience, but the other way around - I have moved from the East coast of England, where my 7 children all live, most with their own families and jobs, to the wilds of Wales.
It broke my heart to leave them all behind, but we have our lives to live too, and now they are all grown up and living their lives, it felt like the right time for us to start over and come home to Wales.
I see more of ALL of my nine grandchildren and seven children and their partners now than I ever did when we were living nearby!! They text, call, send me pics and videos all the time and we have video chats lots too.
I still miss those cuddles but it really has made us all stronger.
Technology is your friend - make sure you make full use of it. I send emails to the older grandchildren with pictures so they can see what we are up to and they absolutely love getting their own mail.

My younger son and his family moved from the UK to LA a couple of years ago and it really upset me. But as you say they have to live their own lives. I now talk to him and see him a lot more than when he lived in Bromley they also come home every year do it has turned out to be positive

Our son emigrated to NZ 6 years ago when my DIL was 6 months pregnant with their first son as she wanted to go home to her family - she'd been in the UK since she was 17. It was heartbreaking but we tried hard not to show how we felt and wished them luck. They then had another baby so we went out there when he was 6 weeks old and my husband went back again the following year. They've been back once and are coming again at Christmas - are planning to look for a property over here as an investment - they both miss the UK but I can't see them moving back any time soon. Her mum has early dementia and is now in sheltered housing so I don't think she will want to leave her.

It's very hard at first but you do get used to it eventually - we FaceTime every few weeks - it's difficult with the time difference and their work patterns but message too!!

I went to Australia many years ago and nearly married a guy out there and stayed, but I couldn't do that to my parents (especially my mother, who I knew was terrified that I may never return to England). Perhaps some people would say that she was very selfish in crying over the phone, and sending me tear-stained letters, but, you know, she was being honest. She was telling me how she felt, and that affected my decision. Do I resent her? I did at the time but now, no I don't. I'm glad i came back, I married a wonderful man here and have had a good life, and was able to look after my Mum until she died (which was a wonderfully life-enhancing experience). I think we can exaggerate the opportunities available in other countries and it takes many years to realise that the most important thing in the world is the love we have for each other.

I was in the same position - I was heartbroken inside whilst trying not to let it show. Oh so very hard. To my joy, after 18 years in Australia they have emigrated back, and I have to pinch myself every day. Try and stay positive and arrange to visit if you can as often as you can.

Newatthis- maybe we could synconise dates charter a plane and get a huge discount?
We are planning on going in Feb for a couple of months.
We are picking GS up in half an hour. He only lives 2 miles away. From the sublime to the ridiculous.

You have my sympathy. My daughter emigrated to the US in 2014 and we haven't been together since then. They don't want to visit the UK, and we were going to visit them last year but I was too seriously ill to travel. I fear now that my health will make the cost of insurance prohibitive. I miss our 4 grandkids terribly and am thankful for the 2 who live here. Sorry, I'm not cheering you up... You just have to clench your jaw and carry on. It's a very tough time.

I hate those long flights. How about we go by sea? Does anyone know if it's possible?

My son, his wife and children live abroad. I visit twice a year for two weeks. If you add up the hours we are together, it amounts to more time per year than I see my other son and his family who only live two hours away and occasionally come to visit for the day. You seem to make more effort to see each other when there is a greater distance involved.

Remember a lot of people return - it's a high percentage.