Adult daughter moving away

Remember a lot of people return - it's a high percentage.

My son, his wife and children live abroad. I visit twice a year for two weeks. If you add up the hours we are together, it amounts to more time per year than I see my other son and his family who only live two hours away and occasionally come to visit for the day. You seem to make more effort to see each other when there is a greater distance involved.

I hate those long flights. How about we go by sea? Does anyone know if it's possible?

You have my sympathy. My daughter emigrated to the US in 2014 and we haven't been together since then. They don't want to visit the UK, and we were going to visit them last year but I was too seriously ill to travel. I fear now that my health will make the cost of insurance prohibitive. I miss our 4 grandkids terribly and am thankful for the 2 who live here. Sorry, I'm not cheering you up... You just have to clench your jaw and carry on. It's a very tough time.

Newatthis- maybe we could synconise dates charter a plane and get a huge discount?
We are planning on going in Feb for a couple of months.
We are picking GS up in half an hour. He only lives 2 miles away. From the sublime to the ridiculous.

I was in the same position - I was heartbroken inside whilst trying not to let it show. Oh so very hard. To my joy, after 18 years in Australia they have emigrated back, and I have to pinch myself every day. Try and stay positive and arrange to visit if you can as often as you can.

I went to Australia many years ago and nearly married a guy out there and stayed, but I couldn't do that to my parents (especially my mother, who I knew was terrified that I may never return to England). Perhaps some people would say that she was very selfish in crying over the phone, and sending me tear-stained letters, but, you know, she was being honest. She was telling me how she felt, and that affected my decision. Do I resent her? I did at the time but now, no I don't. I'm glad i came back, I married a wonderful man here and have had a good life, and was able to look after my Mum until she died (which was a wonderfully life-enhancing experience). I think we can exaggerate the opportunities available in other countries and it takes many years to realise that the most important thing in the world is the love we have for each other.

Our son emigrated to NZ 6 years ago when my DIL was 6 months pregnant with their first son as she wanted to go home to her family - she'd been in the UK since she was 17. It was heartbreaking but we tried hard not to show how we felt and wished them luck. They then had another baby so we went out there when he was 6 weeks old and my husband went back again the following year. They've been back once and are coming again at Christmas - are planning to look for a property over here as an investment - they both miss the UK but I can't see them moving back any time soon. Her mum has early dementia and is now in sheltered housing so I don't think she will want to leave her.

It's very hard at first but you do get used to it eventually - we FaceTime every few weeks - it's difficult with the time difference and their work patterns but message too!!

My younger son and his family moved from the UK to LA a couple of years ago and it really upset me. But as you say they have to live their own lives. I now talk to him and see him a lot more than when he lived in Bromley they also come home every year do it has turned out to be positive

I am in the midst of a similar experience, but the other way around - I have moved from the East coast of England, where my 7 children all live, most with their own families and jobs, to the wilds of Wales.
It broke my heart to leave them all behind, but we have our lives to live too, and now they are all grown up and living their lives, it felt like the right time for us to start over and come home to Wales.
I see more of ALL of my nine grandchildren and seven children and their partners now than I ever did when we were living nearby!! They text, call, send me pics and videos all the time and we have video chats lots too.
I still miss those cuddles but it really has made us all stronger.
Technology is your friend - make sure you make full use of it. I send emails to the older grandchildren with pictures so they can see what we are up to and they absolutely love getting their own mail.

Quite honestly my heart goes out to people whose families are split up. We were thousands of miles away from DH's family and ok only a couple of hundred from mine but I
always hated it. We are really happy that currently we live reasonably near to both our grownup sons and one granddaughter and I hope and pray that the situation continues.

Well I left my children ( adult ) and went to live in France just to turn the tables.

Not 43 times. Whoops. About 4 times.

It's so common now almost everyone we know has a child living abroad. Sometimes they cone back. Some move around.
Our DS migrated to NZ over 10 yrs ago letting us down gently by saying it might not be forever.
So far they've been back about 4 3times and we've been out twice. Her DP are here too thank goodness.
We speak very often by video calls and follow our DGS probably more than the ones nearer!
I recommend going out fairly soon so you can see where they are for yourself and can picture them.
We helped clear their garden and plant it up.
?
It's such a great lifestyle they have, outdoors and camping, we are truly happy for them.
Saving up to go next year.

Couldn’t agree more Patticake123

I can’t offer advice but know you will miss your daughter .

All I can say is with face time and the telephone you will still hear her voice, know she is happy and you will be able meet up again in the future x

It is difficult but you’ll find a way to cope. We save up so that we can visit every year and we FaceTime every week. This doesn’t compare with seeing them but it’s a lot better than a telephone conversation.
One of the things I have found hard to tolerate is thoughtless people who when they hear where my son and his family live make crass remarks along the lines of ‘aren’t you lucky to be able to visit’ ? No, not lucky but coping with a situation I have no control over. Good luck and start saving now!

We’re with our daughter and 1 year old granddaughter in Melbourne at the moment. Our daughter’s been here since 2010 and we manage with a mixture of us going there and them coming to us. Our son his wife and 2 year old granddaughter live 200 miles away from us so we have no family close by. It does get easier with time and thank goodness for WhatsApp. I do find that the 11 hour time difference at present is hard but when it changes to 9hrs it’s easier.

It's hard very hard I left my family in South Africa many years ago mother father sisters nephews nieces I came back to England with my husband and daughter no other family here it sucks but u just get on with it cos u have to feel for u

Maybe we need to have our own little support group.

My DD, husband and ONLY grandchild live in the USA and there isn't a day when I don't miss her and miss my baby grandchild. It's very hard. I try to get out as often as I can and was quite fortunate to be there when the baby was born and I have tried to see her regularly since (difficult as it is so far and costly). What with SKYPE and FACETIME and free calls, you will be able to speak regularly.If you want to private message me please do. I envy all you grans who spend (daily) time with their grandchildren, you don't know how lucky you are even though it might be difficult at times.

Hiya , I can so relate. I already had a daughter who had settled there on her own who now has a partner and a newborn that I haven’t yet to cuddle. Then to make matters worse my other daughter , her husband and there 2 year old son up and left to go join them. I wanted them to go as they have so many more opportunities there but it literally broke my heart and I still cry now when I think of it as it does hurt but they needed to do this and I would def not stand in there way how ever much it hurt. I wrote my daughter a letter which I gave to my SIL to give to her on the plane saying things I couldn’t really say to her face without bawling
To make matters worse I was due to be going to Oz on the 1st April for 7 weeks to see them both but due to a bad illness I have had to cancel but I’m hoping to go at Xmas when my youngest daughters ‘baby’ will be over 1, so I never got to see him as a baby and I feel like I’m missing out on their lives
But yes can so relate xx if you ever want to chat by all means please feel free to message me

My daughter moved from UK to New York about 6 years ago to work. It was a great opportunity for her and intially she thought it would only be for 18 months to 2 years. But obviously 6 years later she is still there, and has met a lovely man is is getting married in August. So I have to resign myself to the fact that I am never going to have her around the corner to meet up with for a coffee and a quick chat.

I felt devastated like you do now, it was the first thing that I thought of when I got up and the last when I went to sleep. It gets easier, as everything does with time.

We have managed to visit her 3 times in New York, and she has been over here at least twice a year including Christmas. We Whatsapp to each other often and Facetime whenever we can, but time differences can be restrictive.

It will be as hard for your daughter to leave you, regardless of what their dreams are, it is a trade off, so there will be many tears from everyone, but be proud of the young lady she has become and how strong she is to pursue her dreams.

There will be family times you will both long to be together, but make sure every time there is a family get together you Facetime/skye each other. My daughter Facetimes with her 21 month twin nephews, and they laugh and chatter to her in their way. Makes the world a smaller place (well just a little).

On a personal note, my daughter has made two trips over to the UK in the last week, because her precious cat (who lives with me) was very poorly, and very sadly went to sleep on Wednesday. Emotions are very raw at the moment and she is heartbroken, and at times like these you just want to put your arms around them everyday, but she had to go straight back to NY.

Start planning your first visit to her, find yourself something exciting to do/go to a couple of weeks after she leaves, keep yourself busy.

I am sending you a big hug and your daughter very best wishes on her new adventure.

Sorry this is a bit long winded, I do go on a bit!!

Friends of mine have a son, ddil and dgs in Oz. My friends stay in uk for six months of the year then go to Oz for the other six months.

I'm in the same position, my DS and family moved to Canada 6 years ago. Its very hard but I think you need to be proud to have raised confident adults who are capable of making their own decisions. for you