Veni et ego profectus sum rumpitur

NanaandGrampy I agree absolutely and usually treat that remark with some cynicism but in this case I believe I really shocked him by my reaction.

He was profuse in his apologies and later told his wife he hoped he hadn't ruined our friendship.

In my original post I had intended to draw attention the “I came, I stirred, I left again” element. I always feel very suspicious of an OP who disappears over the horizon leaving well meaning members often agonising over her predicament.

Do posters really agonise though? We're talking about people we don't and more than likely will never know.

I never do.
I do worry about threads which tell of children getting hit and so on..

Or he (perhaps masquerading as a she).

The worst part of it is that it makes us suspicious of unknown posters who may have genuine problems.

A new thread with an extremely long OP, unpunctuated and not in paragraphs, is difficult to follow, but too little information can lead one to jump to the wrong conclusions.

Perhaps “agonise” is overstating it, but there are often pages of advice, discussion of the advice, discussion about the discussion and OP nowhere to be seen.

There are posters who give us every detail of their problem in a long post, then there are those who only give part of the story. Both are difficult but the latter is the worst I think. Gransnetters have offered advice or commented on the post only to be told that they are wrong because there are important details we have not been told initially.
Even if the original poster disappears it gives others chance to share their experiences and maybe help each other.