Veni et ego profectus sum rumpitur

I'm a newbie and over Christmas started to wonder if this was how Gransnet had always been and I'd just missed the horrid threads in the weeks since I'd joined.

Thanks to some comments on other threads and now this very helpful and reassuring thread, I know Gransnet is, as I hoped, a friendly, helpful place to be.

I am surprised that GNHQ deletes posts from knowledgeable members alerting others to toxic threads while leaving the toxic threads/posters untouched. Most odd and disquieting.

Like others upthread, I enjoy posts from those who have differing views to mine but are polite and calm about it. We all have our opinions, not right, not wrong, just different.

I agree 100% with your post Mammissimo

I was on a thread whereby another poster was hellbent on goading me into losing it with her. In the past I would have ignored this and moved on. No matter what polite response I gave her, she was like a dog with a bone, just wouldn’t give up. Not until I politely suggested we end this exchange and respect each other’s views, did she stop.

I may add, no one else on the thread found my view unacceptable so I was quite surprised when a prolific poster started to nit pick at my view, which others shared.

I agree with everyone. I was ill over a lot of Christmas and posted little, but when I did lurk on the periphery was greatly concerned at goings on, and also concerned for some posters being treated in an offensive manner. I am toying with the idea of going altogether but have received some good support and advice from other posters over time.

So where do we go from here is the pertinent question? I respectfully suggest that HQ call a team meeting amongst themselves and enter into a period of what professionals often call reflective practice. Their agenda should discuss the current situation and identify what has led to a mass of discontent amongst gransnetters. Then identify what went wrong and the role of HQ in that process. Only after honest soul searching can they then identify the factors responsible and move on towards positive change, to the benefit of all.

Equally importantly is feedback to posters from HQ telling us all what steps are being taken and giving a time frame for a response. Gransnetters are not the oft perceived little old ladies sitting at home struggling with IT. Many were/are top professionals in many different fields. We have great experts in family issues, parenting, finance, social work, the medical world and so on. Some of us have been game changers in medical research and the advance of science. And I DO naturally include those with no recognised qualifications - they are often the wisest.

Time for a shake up and if I now get deleted so be it!!

Hear, Hear Maw
Good post, Izabella

GNHQ

I'll admit to having been very confused by some of the recent threads. I have had a house full of visitors so was only able to occasionally dot in and out. I'm not hugely au fait with who everyone is on GN, which made it even more puzzling as to what was going on.

It really wasn't very edifying, I'm sorry for those who were on the receiving end of abuse and I hope HQ can rethink the 'rules'.

I have just popped back to this thread and very surprised that GNHQ has not commented???

Perhaps it was an inside job, to get more ‘footfall’ / more advertising interest?
(If that doesn’t get GNHQ here soon......)
Drums fingers, waits to be shot at dawn.......

I agree with the majority of the earlier posts .

I generally stay out of trouble but managed to get involved in a firestorm here over Christmas. I do feel that people often only want to hear what they want to hear so if you post that you actually disagree they can get very angry .

I see no value in not giving an open , honest and hopefully polite reply .

I do agree with with Izabellas post and I am sometimes surprised by the way GN treat their key assets - namely us. Sorry GNHQ - I generally enjoy being here but of late I’m questioning what I’m actually getting here .

I was also quite upset by some of the things that were posted in the last few weeks. On one thread I did say I was thinking of leaving because of one particular poster even though their post was not directed at me but concerning what they had been doing and their rather hurtful comments to other people. I am still in two minds and can only hope things get back to the "nice, helpful, friendly" place GN was when I joined. I have had some real support from some very caring people both on line and in the real world.
Come on GNHQ its time to get your act together and act.

I'll be the first to admit to some of my posts having been a tad acerbic, but they've been in answer to others which were equally so and when you have been bullied the tendency is to naturally bite back, although it's not in my " real " nature to do so.

In fact, although I say it myself, I'm one of the easiest people to get on with--------to a fault !

Felice, wishing you all the best in your recovery! Hope you have lots of good books to read!

It reduced me to tears, I wanted to leave but didn’t want to leave because my family are here

Maybe CariGN is sitting on the norty step eating cake. ?

Or, perhaps, in a corner, rocking quietly.

I'm so glad that you began this thread MawBroon. It has helped several newer members realise that Gransnet is a good and happy site on the whole. I too have been dismayed by the vitrolic nature of a few posters. For some reason it always seems to happen at Christmas, I nearly left two years ago for the same reason, but just stepped back from frequent posting and only appear now and then these days.
Felice please try posting a new thread with your concerns, I'm sure there will be others on here who have been through what you are and can give you support in the run up to your operation. Good luck, I am sure it will all go well and this time next week you will wonder why you were so anxious.
Anniebach, the site would not be the same without you and your kind and thoughtful comments.

Anniebach is the only reason I stayed on GN I think she is a warm and welcoming lady xxx

From a slighly different perspective, I am a long time member, over Christmas I returned to Gransnet and posted comments on a few threads. One in particular became quite vitriolic, two established members were both rude and unpleasant. Not very welcoming at all and enough possible toput someone of a fainter heart off for good!!

Diva I'm sorry someone was rude to you but may I ask
( as I didn't see it) were they rude or did they just disagree with you ?

I think it could be seen as unwelcoming if a something you post is strongly disagreed with but the problem is how to be both welcoming and to disagree - if you see what I mean?

Have a look, it wa the post about Wetherspoons, unpleasant barbed personal comments.............

Yes, I too agree that things became rather unpleasant on one or two threads over Christmas and it did seem as if one or two of the posters seemed hell bent on destroying GN. Newcomers could, I think, have been quite put off remaining, and indeed, some well established posters, too. I think that would be very sad, and I think we have to stick together. There's a difference between heated discussion and nastiness, and I'm afraid there was some nastiness about. Let us hope these posters have moved on/away.
Felice, please don't give up on GN, and post again about some of your worries. There are more nice, caring people on GN than unpleasant ones, and I'm sure you will get plenty of support, reassurance and help. ?

Windy weather??? Ffs ?

Sorry you've been upset,*Maw*.An d hope you're feeling better now.
I was away most of last week so probably missed all the gannins on.

GrannyGravy I so remember when you first posted , you were attacked and hadn’t even posted anything unkind, or argumentative, I am so happy you stayed, you are part of the GN community x

Anniebach thank you x

As are you Annie! I'm glad you are still here!

That's right N &G some posters get upset when others disagree or think they are being unreasonable. Don't ask the question if you don't want an honest answer or opinion. I would not like to see a bland, sugar sweet Gransnet. There are ways of putting comments which are not harsh or unfeeling but remain honest.
I'm not sure of the role of HQ in all this, I am a Nanny, I don't need one.