The Minister for Loneliness shares her thoughts.....

My worst nightmare. I adore my children and grandchildren but a two week holiday ...noooook

What are Panaches, please?

The list looks like it pertains to older people in their 80s. I don't need my rubbish taken out.
The time people start to separate from mainstream is when they retire or when their partner dies (or becomes very infirm).

Maybe the 'minister for loneliness' could explain who is going to pay for these holidays now the government has defrauded women out of the pensions they were expecting at age 60 How hypocritical to preach that families should take GP's with them on holiday whilst stealing their money at the same time. You couldn't make it up.

That was just an example!! It's good that there's actually an interest in identifying a possible range of options. Consultation with older people would be a good starting point.

Annsixty Only once did we take my mother and aunt, her sister, with us on holiday. Without going into detail once was enough.

Isn't it more about cultural attitude to family? In some parts of the world families compartmentalise into smaller age related groups and in other societies the cross generation family group is the organisation. In the latter childcare and elderly care may be less of an issue. Neither structure will be perfect and we will view it based on our own experience. I am shocked when I hear some parents' views that their responsibility for a child ends at 18 but for others it is perfectly OK.

I once went on a family holiday with my mum and dad and swore I would never, ever, do it again. Overbearing, bossy and demanding that describes my mum.

Charleygirl5you can borrow my lot if you like. You will not weary I'll stay at home and have a rest..

More helpful if they spent the money on technology in order to help the elderly to be able to stay in their homes and communicate with everyone at the same time! Read a lovely article in the times this week about a family that had done just that for a much loved dad and grandad. Compared to the 50k it would have cost to put him in a home it was vastly cheaper and his life was so enriched by being able to chat and see his lovely family.

I do a mixture. I go to France every year with my family ( 2 DD , 2 DG, 1 SIL)! We rent an apartment overlooking the beach. We do a lot together but when they go on long walks I stay behind( can't manage that health wise) . They are going away in the summer but I am not going with them as not my sort of holiday but hoping then to go away with best friend instead. You have to compromise if you do go away and not be selfish.

All my immediate family live in another country and whilst my brother and his family do everything to keep my mother involved they have found that after a couple of hours she has had enough and wants to go home. A holiday away would probably finish her off!

It's not a two week holiday once a year with family that old people need but daily chatting with people of a similar age. Unfortunately old people are lucky to get one day a week at a day centre so that needs improving for a start. Portugal us a far poorer country yet old people have the opportunity to go to a day centre daily if they wish.
My Mum was in her 50s when my children were small and would come on holidays with us if my father had gone on location making a film. But many people now are much older when they become grandparents and maybe not want to go on holiday with the family. But I think AC keeping in regular touch with their parents would go a long way to curing some of the loneliness many elderly people feel.

re holidays we have been able to do a mix of on our own or with the kids. But atm we are still relatively fit and active. Might be different if we were less mobile, needed care.

We rent a lovely cottage in Yorkshire for ten days every year.
Our son and our daughter complete with spouses and children join us for a long weekend at the beginning and we stay on to enjoy the peace of being just the two of us after that. It has brought our family much closer together and everyone looks forward to it. They do have their individual exotic foreign holidays as nuclear families every year but our combined break every September has been very 'bonding' for all of us.

Although I enjoy going on holiday with my family, I don't want to do it every year as I'm sure they don't want me and my husband joining them every year.

I have posted on the other thread.

I think this suggestion is a vile ageist comment from a completely out of touch minister. Yes, there are old and lonely older people, but the majority of older people (currently defined as anyone over 50. Are fit, well, still working and busy enjoying child-free holidays.

Generalised sweeping statements like this, applying to nearly half the population, are meant as a way of avoiding addressing the real issue. All they actually do is make the minister look a fool.

My parents didn't like the sort of holidays we all enjoyed when dds were young - beach, pool, water sports - so we didn't invite them to join us, although they did more than once come and stay while we were living abroad.

However after my father died we and siblings would invite my mother to join us on more adult hols with older dds. One was in fact the beach type and my mother did enjoy it, as long as she could stay in the shade and wasn't expected to get wet! We did manage to get her in a glass bottomed boat, though, which she enjoyed.

We've had a successful UK seaside family holiday with very little Gdcs and will probably do so again. Also joined dd and SiL on a Greek seaside holiday shortly before no. 2 arrived - it was nice to be able to take Gdd now and then to let them have a siesta/lie in.

However if I were very much older I can imagine that such holidays would no longer appeal.
Grandparents who are still fit and active are a rather different matter from those who are becoming less mobile/tiring more easily, not to mention preferring their home comforts.

I think as well that many of us value peace and quiet sometimes (perhaps more than other nationalities). Although my mum loved coming on holiday with us she was always pleased to be back in her own flat with her TV and books, for some quiet time.

The time people start to separate from mainstream is when they retire

I disagree, having been retired for some years and being still very active, physically and socially. I believe it's more to do with physical and/or mental infirmity that renders us liable to loneliness, than anything else.

That and the lack of transport. I believe some rural areas suffer in this respect. Very hard on those who don't drive for whatever reason.

Always invited to go on holiday with the family.
Son and family live close by and will always do jobs for me round the house, Dil and I regularly go shopping together!
I feel very lucky.

I tried that ONCE. Never again! We took my dh's mother with us as a treat for her to Spain. Shewas so excited - but once wewere there she became a monster. All she did was to complain about the the resort, the hotel, the food, etc etc. She kept ringing our room incessantly and was generally annoying wherever we went or whatever we did despite including her. It was meant as a holiday for ALL of us - that was what we thought anyway.

We paid for her holiday as well and when we returned she told all her friends what a miserable time she'd had, which was very hurtful as we'd put in a great effort to include her on a family holiday.

It was a pretty upsetting experience and would not recommend it unless you all get on fabulously well, and are sure that the holiday will not change the dynamics.

From my gran's view - no I wouldn't entertain the idea of going on holiday with family at all.

Research demonstrates that one of the most precious things parents can give their children, is grandparents. Living in London I see so many nuclear families totally devoid of older family members to help children find their place in the family, and basically just to support them. The other side of the coin is that if families were less isolated, less nuclear, then there would be far less loneliness among older family members, and I personally applaud any publicity that brings to the fore the need for all generations to support each other within the family context. If that means sharing a holiday with grandparents every so often, why not? At least once each year I always had a holiday involving grandparents, and I made sure that my own children had the same pleasure. Now as a grandparent myself and with a holiday home abroad, I often have family members come and stay. These are opportunities for consolidating relationships. And where relationships are good, the grief experienced when there is a death in the family is better dealt with. My own mum in her 90s lives with us and professionals continually say that it's because she's part of a family unit that she's still alive.

That's a brilliant idea kwest and suits everyone I should think.

Oh no. Adore my GC but my holiday involves a quiet Greek beach & a loaded Kindle. DH & I meet up for lunch & then spend evenings together. I love a secluded beach he prefers the pool & people around. Suits as both.