Now that's NOT what I needed!

You deserve it!

Feel free to come here- at present everything is working. That sounds horrendous. That is inconsiderate of that heating fellow to be ill at present.

Phoenix only you could relate such a tale of woe and instead of prompting the required sympathy generate a storm of giggles.

I do hope that normal service will be resumed as soon as possible with regard to your many equipment failures and in the meantime I hear that alcohol has a warming effect so its use should be regarded as medicinal.

I would be inclined to stay in bed and I am sure that the cats would not object. I cannot speak for Mr. P.

Maw!! I sincerely hope you mean phoenix deserves the Bailey's and not the series of unfortunate events!

Thanks for the posts, much appreciated!

Thank goodness we can switch to electricity for the hot water, so hygiene standards will be maintained.

The fire in the sitting room has a convector heater (which we don't usually use) so that's ok, and cooking the larger than I wanted turkey will no doubt have an effect. (I'll probably be stripped down to my vest by the time the sprouts go on!)

If the plumber can't fix it, I will pop into the office and "borrrow" a couple of oil filled radiators.

First world problems, which can all be overcome.

Except for my poor bauble..........

mcem ????how could you think otherwise?

Oh Phoenix what a calamity I do hope you get your heating sorted if nothing else
I could add to your tale of woe, my daughter has bought teenage grandson the one present he wanted, a tv for his bedroom she’s had it fixed on the wall and now although it works perfectly in the main room it doesn’t in his bedroom so obviously the extension isn’t working but it’s somewhere in the wall so she’s got to get a technician out, that is on top of the washing machine saga Everyone sitting comfortable there’s more, there’s more my dad died six years ago, he had a fairly new washing machine, so I had it brought to mine for when my old one collapsed, a couple of weeks ago my daughter (same one) said I think my washing machine is packing up ‘Never mind’ I said you can have granddad s a few days later before she had collected it, mine chugged to a halt, I had to break the news that it was no longer available I paid to have Dads plumbed in and she paid the same man to have hers fixed, she went to use it today and zilch
And it’s raining

I did, my mind is warped

Charleygirl young Minnie is NOT flavour of the month at present, we have managed to turn a blind eye to the "bauble batting" and just put them back when she isn't looking, but her insistence on attempting to climb the largest of the twig trees is really a step too far!

So sorry to hear that Phoenix - why do these things always happen just before a big occasion? If we are sharing problems (mine is fairly minor) I have an unexplained smell in my sitting room (my sister in law says it smells like nail varnish remover - I don't use nail varnish!). I have tried everything including cleaning the floor and furniture with Dettol cloths but it is still there - anyone have any ideas?

Oh phoenix what a tale of woe right on Christmas I feel for you. Love the idea of checking the oil level with the broom handle - maybe you could patent that.
Perhaps you could post a pic of you basting the turkey in your vest.
Our hob stopped working last week but we couldn't get into the shopping centre as the gilets jaune were blocking the road. We eventually found a back road to the centre and got our hob.

sodapop I managed to break my hob on Christmas day last year, trying the Phil Vickery turkey cooking method that was recommended on here!

Back to Delia for me this year!

Hang on in there, phoenix. Only three more days and it will all be over.

DD's weird boyfriend has arrived. Thank goodness she lives next door and we're not all under the same roof. He's such hard work. My fixed grin is in place and I'm practicing my OTT cheerful voice on the dogs.

Oh the things we go through for Christmas

You know why all this has happened don't you phoenix? It's the gammon. You cursed it and it's getting its own back

Seriously, you could do without this expense at Christmas. I have no decorations, only cards on display-

All Tara is interested in is a crumpled piece of paper on the floor which she bats around.

My cheeks always go bright red and burning hot when I have a Baileys so you just have to make sure it's a big enough one phoenix to keep you warm. Sorry about the bauble though

Charleygirl I would agree, our usual decorations are ones that we have had for years, don't know what got into Mr P with regard to outdoor decorations

Sorry to say that the number of cards we receive wouldn't amount to much of a display, but in all fairness we have reduced the number that we send in the post.

Oh Lord, forgive me for laughing ( which I did ) loudly !
I shouldn't laugh really-----it's hysteria. After fussing around getting clean linen out on the bed and a top cover for the cats, one of them jumped on and promptly threw up. Off it came again and into the washer it went.

Then the old stray that lives outside in a kennel decided he wouldn't go in when it was pouring down and he was soaking.

I took his fleece from out of the kennel and that too was saturated so I set to with the washing machine again and that's just finished now and it's just the drying to do.

While I was outside seeing to the stray cat I came back in to see my pork chop on the kitchen floor------neither 3 cats owned up so I ran it under the tap and ate it with my mash broad beans and apple sauce. I wasn't going to waste it after cutting off the nibbles at the end of it.

Like I said---it's hysteria.

Waste not, want not Ellan. I admire your thrift.
Phoenix, I had my catalogue of events 2 weeks ago I hope that`s it for a while. I hope it all doesn`t ruin your Christmas. I echo Sodapop`s request for a pic of you basting the turkey in your vest.

Gluttons for punishment, aren't you!

You do realise that the very sight of it might be enough to turn your gravy lumpy, and curdle your cream?

Sorry phoenix but your tale of woe made me smile. Understand the sadness at the bauble, it’s always the irreplaceable things that jump out of our hands. Still, tis the season for things to go wrong, you should be safe now, you’ve had your share. Happy Christmas .

Oh dear. I do hopex you get sorted Phoenix.