if you could choose how to die (please dont read this if you are likely to become upset)

My husband and I have had this conversation many times. Both my parents had dementia, suffered the indignity of incontinence, being totally devoid of any communication in my mum's case and completely bedridden for the last year. My in-laws both died from cancer and were lucid until the end. I know which I would prefer awful as both scenarios are and that's to know what is going on around me.

I think it is much better to go quickly than have a long illness. I realise it is a shock when someone goes quickly but looking after someone desperately ill is so stressful.

I don't mind as long as my mind is intact. I'd also like to die at a sociable hour so other people are around. I'm not afraid of dying or of dying alone but I don't want my daughters or granddaughters to find me dead .

My Dad suddenly dropped dead at age 84, standing at the kitchen sink washing up. He had an aortic aneurysm which he had never told us about.
A simple way to go, but very hard on my poor Mum.
So I'm not sure - I don't mind talking about death though, as MissA says, it's inevitable.

Definitely euthanasia at the time of my choosing.
I have the same conversation with myself. My DH died suddenly; no time to say goodbye, or all the stuff you want to get out of the way before the final parting. Or, would it have been better if he'd had a long term illness, in the knowledge that he was dying so all this could have been said? For him obviously he had an easy and hopefully pain free passing and for that I am glad. For me it is an on going form of purgatory and guilt. I just so wanted to 'clear the slate' and I feel angry and cheated out of that opportunity

3 of my male cousins went silently without warning, one recently while sitting in the sun waiting for his wife who was shopping. All late 70's. Doesn't bode well for me at 78.

Not sure I'd like to make a sudden departure like that as I like to know what's going on, being nosey and all that. But hey-ho you go when you go and that's that.

After many years having kidney dialysis 3-4 times a week and with advanced bone cancer my mum aged 73 made the very brave decision stop dialysis, leave hospital and come home to die. It was heartbreaking for us but it was what she wanted . We spent the last week of her life sitting on the bed beside her, reading aloud, listening to music and watching old movies . My grandchildren visited her, they sang and danced, played and squabbled (just like normal) then they kissed her goodbye . My little grandson (6 at the time) told her “bye bye grandma, I’ll see you in heaven”

In my sleep at 106, still in my right mind, not too bothered by the body.

My mum had copd and her passing away was not at all peaceful.
I think we just have to accept it will happen how it happens.

My mother had COPD, and was in hospital when she died. She went to sleep, looking forward to seeing photos of her great grandson who was four months old, as I was intending to visit her the following day. None of us was expecting her passing as the hospital said she was improving.
That's the way I'd like to go but without the COPD.

Quite a few of my elderly relatives have died pretty much mid-sentence, in their late seventies/early eighties.
My Dm had just asked my Df to fetch her something from another room, he came back and she had gone.
My Dgm was talking to my DAunt who was in the kitchen making a cup of tea and suddenly went silent.....
My Dgf pretty much the same.
This would be my ideal way to die.
Otherwise, I think, I would prefer to keep my marbles, even if my body was failing.
I'm pretty sure my Dd and Ds and families will look out for me as much as they can.
As long as I'm not in pain, not too worried really.
Everyone is Born and everyone dies.

I really don't want to lose my mind bec ause of being able to read. Can't imagine life without that.

I am going to invest in a commode to keep right by my bed because I know there will come a time when I wont be able to make it to loo in the night. Either that or insist on using an old lady nappy. I hope, by planing carefully, be able to go onto the end without becoming a nuisance. I think planning the little things is all important. No way will I go to Dignitas! (Shudder)

Now and again I've thought about this aspect for a brief moment only. I presently haven't got a clue how I'll end up as my health both physically and mentally isn't too bad considering-----
I'm sure as with a lot of others to " just fall asleep " would be the ideal but it's not always that way.
My mum knew I was by her bed in hospital when she died and she was so calm and restful as she looked at me and smiled-----that was it. I thought how lovely but asked myself years later was it ? To know ? I'm not sure. She was only 67.
I will go when I go however I go but please God don't let me be a burden to my family.
If I should have all my marbles and some excruciating illness/disease then GP's have my permission to up the morphine. God forbid that I turn out to be a pest,then what ? I really don't know.
Neither parent was hard-going as they were in hospital very ill and all I had to do was visit and be there at the end of their day.

How interesting that so far the short sharp end seems favourable to prolonging life that has a poor quality. I often think, where is the line drawn before I decide that enough is enough. And what if I left it too late to complete my intentions. (I favour the warm bed, favourite tunes and a good bottle of red. Dignitas is costly-somewhere around ten grand).

Neither concept is appealing..
I think I may slightly prefer to lose my mind, as long as I become a delightfully confused lady, instead of a tormented, aggressive, tearful one.
Not very likely..

Euthanasia for me too. Have thought a lot about mental or physical decline. Neither appeal to me. I am a coward.

I saw what dementia did to my mother - I do hope I'm spared that indignity. But I'm also not keen on the idea of having a sharp mind and a failing body. Give me a quick death via the euthanasia method. I hope that choice is available to me when the time comes.

I would like to be allowed to fade away in a warm room with some nice music and a bottle of Pinot .

Dignitas for me. My life, my choice (hopefully)