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I am so embarrassed, cringing

(92 Posts)
Anniebach Mon 22-Oct-18 13:58:57

I have a badly swollen knee. Can’t get to physiotherapist so not wanting to cut off blood supply to my leg , armed with elasticated bandage I thought google ‘ bandaging knee’ in the hope of learning to do it properly .

But I googled bondage instead of bandage !

Jaxie Tue 23-Oct-18 11:06:00

Your doctor will know. If it's osteoarthritis, and all the " padding" between the kneebones is depleted the bone on bone action will be causing the pain & swelling. I should know, I need a replacement knee but am putting it off as I'm scared the op might go wrong. But take no notice of me: my son calls me the V of D ( voice of doom). I'm a dreadful pessimist; physiotherapy will most likely sort your knee out. Good luck.

JanT2004 Tue 23-Oct-18 11:37:32

I remember when we got our first computer (many moons ago) my daughter and I thought it would be a nice idea to look for pictures of beavers! We didn’t know how to shut it down and had to put a tea towel over the monitor until my husband came home. We still laugh about it now. ?

Margs Tue 23-Oct-18 11:42:30

Bondage or bandage? Both are methods of restraint (in a way) so maybe you were not so far out! cheers AnnieB.

DawnS Tue 23-Oct-18 12:08:26

Had a friend who googled a band he liked called 'Dirty Little Secret'. Wow, not a mistake to make twice.

Jalima1108 Tue 23-Oct-18 12:15:44

I won't list any more of my mishaps, suffice it to say that DH says:
"You're a disaster waiting for a place to happen"

hmm

Aepgirl Tue 23-Oct-18 12:27:10

Sounds much more fun. Hope you have LOL.

grandtanteJE65 Tue 23-Oct-18 13:22:58

I find it best to use a figure of eight bandage on a knee.

I hope you found directions, I tried google, but the utube video I found doesn't want to work on my computer.

I put a pad of cotton wool (or a folded cloth hanky) at the back of my knee before I start bandaging it, as I find the pad prevents the bandaged digging into the soft flesh at the back of my knee.

I hope your knee gets better soon. I imagine if it was dislocated that you would be quite unable to stand on the leg and that you could see that either the shin bone or the thigh bone or the knee cap was in a odd place.

grandtanteJE65 Tue 23-Oct-18 13:26:11

I fortunately checked the internet myself before showing a class of 11 year olds the charming film called "The Secret Garden" - not all the secret gardens are as innocuous as the children's book I had in mind.

So I did not do an internet based follow up on the film with my class!

sandelf Tue 23-Oct-18 14:29:53

Oh how horrible AnnieBach - this has been useful for me. www.boots.com/boots-cohesive-support-bandage-7cm-x-4m-10203454

endre123 Tue 23-Oct-18 14:55:59

Anniebach, if you haven't been advised already try frozen peas.
That's what my GP told me to do recently when I did something unmentionable to my knee and it swelled up ! So painful. I'm six weeks down the line and still have to be very careful.

Sparklefizz Tue 23-Oct-18 15:14:00

My son-in-law is a languages teacher. When he first qualified he rather naively googled "French Lessons". Eeeek!

VIOLETTE Tue 23-Oct-18 15:54:19

Ha ha ! quite made my day !!!! hope you eventually found what you were looking for ! My husband, whilst waiting for a knee replacement, had Teflon injections .......like a saucepan coating I suppose, but they worked for the pain until he got his new knee flowers

gulligranny Tue 23-Oct-18 15:58:52

My stepdaughter bought me a very nice hessian-type shopping bag from Fortnum & Mason which has the "f&m" logo emblazoned on it. I was in a lift in our local shopping centre when the other occupant (another lady) suddenly started laughing and said "Oh I see now - I thought you looked too nice for that sort of thing". I replied that you should never judge a book by its cover ....!!!

Anniebach Tue 23-Oct-18 16:00:01

endre123, I had forgotten about frozen peas , thank you

NfkDumpling Tue 23-Oct-18 16:13:15

Jaxie if the pain is stopping you from walking, climbing stairs, even managing slopes then go for the op. I was in a similar situation and decided that even if it did go wrong I wouldn’t be any worse off. I worried unnecessarily as I now have two bionic knees, no pain and can walk like a normal person again.

Don’t forget to wrap the peas in a tea towel Annie.

Conni7 Tue 23-Oct-18 16:20:22

Thank you for all the laughs! I Googled "China Match" once as I wanted to add to my dinner service. Who knew there were all those Chinese out there! Anniebach, frozen peas will at least take away the pain a little.

annodomini Tue 23-Oct-18 16:28:41

Flustered by the behaviour of a particularly unruly class of early teenagers, I told one of the miscreants that I would 'have it off ' with him after the lesson.
Should have said 'have it out' of course.
After that, the kids were completely uncontrollable!

GrannyGravy13 Tue 23-Oct-18 16:40:30

Husband is a fan of game (venison, partridge. roebuck etc) as well as aged beef. He entered into his search engine "well hung meat", that is something we will never let him forget!!!

Some things are best left 'unseen' ???

David1968 Tue 23-Oct-18 16:53:58

Over twenty years ago, when the internet was just in its infancy, a colleague of mine (at a teacher training college) suggested that a group of students (being taught about computers) should practice their skills by looking-up a subject that they were doing with their teaching-practice class in school. The film "Babe" was not long out, and one student's class were reading the book. ("The Sheep-Pig", by Dick King Smith). This student thus keyed in the words: "Babe", "Dick", "King", and "Smith". A stunned silence followed....

muffinthemoo Tue 23-Oct-18 17:00:06

Dying laughing, ladies. Oh dear.

MIL once eavesdropped on BIL’s phone conversations and heard him use a term she was not familiar with to describe a serious foul up at work.

FIL was actually in the room when she googled the phrase “clusterf*k”

Ever since I have occasionally discouraged her from googling some things she mentions in conversation. There’s just some stuff you don’t need to find out in your autumnal years

muffinthemoo Tue 23-Oct-18 17:02:28

annodomini I’m afraid you’d have had to send me out of the classroom. I would probably still be laughing now

Jalima1108 Tue 23-Oct-18 17:42:07

Jalima1108 Tue 23-Oct-18 12:15:44
Anniebach - sorry I posted on the wrong thread.

(but it does confirm what DH says grin)

Anniebach Tue 23-Oct-18 17:48:12

Jalima the truth will out . ?

Deepem Tue 23-Oct-18 17:51:00

Don't Google Kate Bush-Just saying ??

grumppa Tue 23-Oct-18 17:56:40

"Of Hunan Bandage" is perhaps Somerset Maugham's least impressive novel.