Have you ever?

This btw was more than a fortnight ago and my poor elbow is still sore ? I have a photo of my arm on the injury peas but they seem to have removed the option to post it...

When I was busy stowing a week's groceries in my car, I put the tomatoes on the roof (for a reason that escapes me now) while I looked out my car keys. I then forgot all about them and drove off - only to look in my rear view mirror and see a cascade of tumbling tomatoes following me as I drove off down the road!

PaddyAnn's story exactly, but substitute tooth problem with a badly infected ulcer on my fanny and the examining student doctor was... yes, you've guessed it.

It's so nice to cry with laughter on a Monday morning! ?

These are so funny. I too have had that moment on the bus when it jerked forward and I ran with it.

I've known my husband since we were children and have heard several of his Micheal Crawford moments. As an army cadet he was on night patrol with a mock rifle in the middle of nowhere - he heard a noise and instinctively fired the gun. A body fell out of the tree in front of him! Totally horrified he obviously thought he'd shot someone - it was his friend tricking him.

Another time he was hiding waiting for same friend to walk past, thought he saw him and jumped out onto his back. It wasn't - he slid down the guy's back and apologised profusely before slinking off totally mortified!

This is quite wonderful. Maggiemaybe's Roman bus escapade is still tops by far. Can't keep the grin off my face or the chuckle from my heart. Thank you so much for sharing. C'mon ladies; bring on the rest. Lizzypb, I'm sorry if you're still in pain but you are guilty of painting one very comedically graphic picture of your event.

Many years ago when living in a large house I saw and ordered a large Christmas tree at the local fruit and veg shop. Delivery went well and it was left in the hall.Being impatient I proceeded to move it into the lounge by dragging it backwards along the floor and decided to lean it against the patio windows pro-tem--------but being behind it and supporting it I'd trapped myself against the window with the tree on top of me. I couldn't move and was pinned against the window until I heard my D shouting me. Between the pair of us we extricated the tree with its sharp needles from my person and just sat and laughed. That'll teach you to be impatient mother !

Well as this is about buses I'll relate something I did to my poor mum when i was a teenager. My friends and I were already on the bus when I saw mum get on and sit at the front. I crept up behind her and started fiddling with her hair. She was too embarrassed to turn around.

Another true story happened to a friend. She got on a bus in London with her large dog which stayed under her seat. Someone let her know that something was wrong with the dog. Indeed it was, the dog was giving birth to pups!

when i first arrived in London, some 39 years ago, I got on to the platform at Baker Street Station just as the doors were about to close. I made a leap onto the train but my shoulder bag, which I was wearing cross body, didn't. It catapulted me back to the door like Captain Weird from the Andy Williams Show. I was killing myself laughing at the spectacle and looked up to see stony faces all around. Welcome to London!

One summer we planted carrots in a sawn off plastic drum, with the top of the soil a foot or so from the rim. One day, while backing up with a wheelbarrow, I somehow fell backwards onto it, and therefore into it. Bottom was on the seedlings, knees over the rim, which was sharp plastic. I mulled over the situation for a long, long time. I could either wait for DH to get home from work after several hours, or manoeuvre my way out. Eventually I reached out and pulled the wheelbarrow handle where I could lean on it, and slowly edged out, leaving a sore red stripe every few inches down the back of my thigh, where the plastic had tried to cut in. I was not amused, but DH ought it was hilarious, which didn't help my need for sympathy

On the last busy train of the night, I needed a wee and went to the toilet. Push button opened the door and i closed it. I had never used the train loo before. I was quietly doing my business when , low and behold the toilet door silently slid open exposing me to the whole carriage and the traumatised face if the young lad who needed a wee !!!! Thankfully I’d had a few wines so my embarrassment quickly turned to a huge smiley grin and an overly cheery “oh, hello” ?? while I tried to reach for the button to close the door. The young guy st this point was decidedly mute and frozen to the spot. I concluded my business, washed my hands whilst deciding how to exit. Pressed the button, held my head up high and walked back to my seat to tell my friend who’d been oblivious to the whole thing !!!! See, I presumed the door would lock automatically when the toilet was occupied. Be warned, it doesn’t ??

I was a teacher in a boys’ secondary modern in the 70’s. One of my eye teeth died suddenly and my dentist inserted a temporary cap. At the start of a lesson, I drew in a big breath to get the unruly class to settle down. At the first booming “Be ...” the tooth flew out and shot across the room...!

When I was a Special Constable I was on foot patrol with a colleague/ friend. As we walked I got both feet tangled in some of the thick ' banding ' used to secure parcels that a delivery man had just dropped on the footpath. I started to fall but staggered on for yards. In those days we wore bowler hats I had one hand flailing through the air the other holding my hat as I tripped and stumbled along. The car driving towards me nearly crashed into parked vehicles the driver was laughing so much. Eventually I could resist gravity no more and ended up turning 180 degrees and sitting on my bum. My friend who had been oblivious to all this looked and said ' What are you doing ? ' I couldn't stop myself and replied ' I was tired and fancied a sit down '

The train stories reminded me of the time when I was leaping onto to a train at busy Birmingham New Street Station. One of my shoes fell off and landed on the track underneath the train.
The train had to be held up while a guard climbed down carefully between train and platform and retrieved my shoe for me.

Amethyst that happened to me too - one of the Dr Scholes wooden type. They had to move the train a few feet so it could be rescued - my sons were so embarrassed and still talk about it now

This are sooo funny! Great way to start the week!

My MC moment was on holiday in America, on a day trip to North Carolina. My friends and I decided on a horse and carriage ride, which was quite high off the ground. The young lady assistant was holding stepladders whilst we climbed aboard. Just as I got to the top and was about to step onto the carriage, somebody distracted her and she turned away, letting go of the stepladders. They slid away and both legs went in opposite directions, almost in the splits before she grabbed me! Poor girl was mortified and couldn't stop apologising, I think she thought I might sue! Even though I was in pain, my friends and I couldn't stop laughing.

Nearly thirty years ago I passed my motorcycle test. Lord knows how because on the very first lesson and before we had even left the training centre I had a bit of a panic moment. In front of the assembled crowds in the centre car park.
Fortunately I hadn't had a sudden onset of complete blindness but had put my helmet backwards. The moments of realisation still feel like some of the longest in my life.

I had been invited to a Sgts mess 'do' by my boyfriend. Everyone was on best behaviour and I was keen to impress. All was going swimmingly until ladies were called to the buffet, I dutifully got my plate full but on returning to my seat got my foot caught in some very ornate long curtains, the entire rail and curtains collapsed to the floor in front of an entire audience. I stumbled but managed to regain my posture and, with plate still full, returned to my seat and sat down frozen to the spot with embarrassment.

Last week I met a friend for coffee. The seats were bench type and when we finished I slid up to the end to get out. I hadn't noticed that my bench ended about 2 feet from the wall so I landed flat on the floor. Then I found I was stuck by the table and couldn't get up so had to be helped . Embarrassing!

Scene - Cromwell road airport terminal, London, late 60's. Off to meet my partner off a plane, so all togged up in new clothes and brand new pink and black lace matching undies, and a batch of Japanese business men with cameras and briefcasees gathered in a group at the bottom of the open-tread staircase I was ascending, when "pop" when went my knicker elastic and to my horror said pants slid down my legs in slow motion to the avid interest of the Japs who went very silent when I had to bend down to retreive them!!!!!

These are SO good. Thank you all for being prepared to share. Either I have an unusually fertile imagination or I'm bereft of sympathy. Haven't physically laughed so much for ages. Feels wonderful. Thank to all contributors.

Note to self, do not read threads like this whilst eating or you will choke. Literally nearly died laughing.

Earlier this year, on the Tube coming home from a day out with DH. A sweet young man jumped up to give me his seat, which I accepted gratefully (always). Just as we were passing each other so I could sit down the train jerked - and the only thing I could grab hold of to stop myself falling was this poor guy's bum! Burning face/deep embarrassment not helped by DH doubled up with laughter ....

This one wasn’t mine but reminded me by Sulis s knicker story
When I was around 15 and attending a convent I was taught maths by the headmistress, a nun who we were all in awe of as she reached up to write a new equation on the board with arm held high her knickers slowly descended beneath her habit and slid down very slowly to her ankles where they rested in a deflated pile . 20 pair of eyes were on stalks watching this, open mouthed She handled it was panach finishing the board writing then she stepped out of them and walked out the classroom saying ‘ they don’t make elastic like they used to’ as the door closed the whole class were doubled up.with giggles

BlueBelle, this thread has been so much fun!

At the risk of some of you thinking I might actually be Frank Spencer, I have another. One hot summer some years ago, I’d hired a big industrial sander and was busily working on the front room floorboards while alone in the house. Being safety conscious, I was of course wearing suitable protection - a spotted scarf tied round the bottom of my face, a pair of sunglasses and some sturdy walking boots. I got unbearably hot so drew the curtains and stripped down to my bra and pants, just before I turned sharply and tripped over the roll of carpet I was moving about as I worked. My chin landed on the radio I’d left on the floor and I was stunned for a few minutes. I did wonder what anyone would have made of the scene if they’d walked in on it.