Have you ever?

I went for a meal to a Pizza Hut with my daughter and after the meal while she went outside for a cigarette I went to the toilet which was at the far end of the room. On the way out I had to walk past all the tables full of customers. Then over the car park with a full view from the windows. It was only as we were getting in the car that my daughter said " Mam your skirt is tucked in your knickers".

I posted this on the wrong thread, which just confirms what DH says:

I won't list any more of my mishaps, suffice it to say that DH says:
"You're a disaster waiting for a place to happen"

I went to fetch DGD from her nursery and while chatting to one of the staff, perched my fairly ample derriere on what I thought was a table. It gave way and turned out to be the water play trough still full of water. I sat on the cover and the whole thing collapsed with the inevitable result . I didn't know where to put myself, so muttering profuse apologies fled the scene as soon as was decently possible, never to return....

why the gentleman walking past thought it appropriate to say " Good morning"!!
Chaos; how upsetting! But he wasn't a proper gent. like what I am! I would have engaged in more conversation, such " Good Morning, how are you? That must have been some party!" Anything to overcome your embarrassment and then haul you to your feet before inviting you to join me for a coffee to help settle your nerves! Seize the moment like "Brief Encounter"
Hope the bruises soon went and your "sit-upon" wasn't badly damaged!

Thank you so, so much for all your posts, I’ve cried with laughter, annoyingly I haven’t a funny one to share

Missdeke , this has given me a much needed laugh. The whole thread is hilarious ?

I have been toying with the idea of resigning from Gransnet, because I spend far too much time reading the threads instead of doing more important things. After reading all these posts, though, I have changed my mind. A good giggle is far more fun than doing the dusting! What hilarious stories.

I don't have any to match them. My stupidest moment was when I crossed the road, caught my toe on the kerb, staggered across the pavement with arms flailing, and dived headfirst into a bush. At least I gave some nearby workmen a good laugh, and they rewarded me by hauling me back onto my feet and dusting me down.

It's my bedtime now, but I will be back in the morning to see if there are any more funny stories. Blow the housework!

Thank you all for sharing such entertaining stories. Here's mine:

My husband used to have a motor boat, quite a large one. We had visited the Isle of Wight and were on our way back to the marina in Chichester harbour. It was a hot day so I asked if we could stop the boat so I could have a swim, off the step at the stern of the boat. All went well until I tried to get back on board, and found I couldn't pull my own weight back up onto the step and was stranded in the sea. And here's the worst bit .... I was stark naked! Well, there was no one around, so why wear a swimsuit?
DH just stood there laughing. He suggested throwing me a line and towing me back into the marina - can you imagine the spectacle?

When he managed to stop chuckling and teasing me, we eventually devised some way -.I think it involved a rope tied in a loop - to tug me back on board, so my dignity was preserved.

Feeling guilty laughing tears at others misfortunes. So far I don’t recall any similar events -but it’s bound to happen one of these days. ! ?

on my birthday 3 years ago i decided to do some gardening..i stabbed a full sized garden fork into the ground...it hit a tree root and bounced back up hitting me square between the eyes with the metal prongs..it knocked me out fractured my forehead and broke my nose...happy birthday to me!!

Oh dear what a good giggle these tales gave me.thanks to you all

I was getting changed to go out - I was a bit late, so although I noticed that the zip on my skirt was a bit loose, I didn’t have time to mess about and I thought that the waistband button would hold it. And you know when you’re late, that’s when you notice you haven’t got enough petrol .... Leaning over and trying to fill up the tank as fast as possible, I suddenly, unexpectedly, sneezed. In one movement the button flew off my skirt, the zip undid itself and the skirt fell to the floor. And there was a row of workmen sitting on the wall by the garage ....

I had my own bus incident, while living in Spain. The bus set off before I managed to grab a handrail, and I pirouetted uncontrollably down the bus, eventually landing in a rather bemused young man's lap. It was lunchtime, and large numbers of schoolgirls were making their way home, and their laughter was still ringing in my ears when I got off at my stop some ten minutes later.
I also caused a bus incident in Northampton some thirty years ago. Along with many others, I was standing in the aisle ready to get off at the approaching stop. The driver braked abruptly and I fell backwards, starting a falling domino effect in the passengers behind me

Friend and I came out of the theatre one night, and were walking across the park to the car park, deep in discussion of the play that we'd just seen. Suddenly, my left foot - instead of landing on the tarmac path - slid onto the grass beside it, tipping me over sideways onto the dark lawn... It happened so quickly that my poor friend nearly had a heart attack as she glanced round and I'd vanished
Then she heard the swearing...! (& is on here, so Hi.. ???)

Heavily pregnant with No 1 son, I was fashionably dressed (I thought) in white patterned top and white trousers. Walking round the supermarket, I came across a promotion of a four foot high stack of tomato ketchup bottles at the end of an aisle. Commented to DH that that was an accident waiting to happen. A couple of aisles further on I remembered I had forgotten the butter. Rushed back to get it, and as I rounded the corner, my bump caught the outer edge of the stack. I thought I had got away with it. Then in a scene reminiscent of a slow motion horror movie, while I was frozen to the spot wondering if I could somehow stop it, the stack began to sway - and sway - from side to side, until eventually the whole lot crashed to the floor. The glass bottles smashed on impact and huge quantities of tomato ketchup flew upwards and outwards, covering me and everything within ten feet of the stack. I screamed with horror (my best white trousers!!!) and a manager ran up to see a heavily pregnant woman covered in what looked like blood. He went very pale. DH was useless, contorted with laughter when he came to look for me. Advising the manager that it was not a sensible way to display breakable items, I attempted to sail serenely out of the shop, but inside I was absolutely mortified!

BlueBelle, this thread has been so much fun!

At the risk of some of you thinking I might actually be Frank Spencer, I have another. One hot summer some years ago, I’d hired a big industrial sander and was busily working on the front room floorboards while alone in the house. Being safety conscious, I was of course wearing suitable protection - a spotted scarf tied round the bottom of my face, a pair of sunglasses and some sturdy walking boots. I got unbearably hot so drew the curtains and stripped down to my bra and pants, just before I turned sharply and tripped over the roll of carpet I was moving about as I worked. My chin landed on the radio I’d left on the floor and I was stunned for a few minutes. I did wonder what anyone would have made of the scene if they’d walked in on it.

This one wasn’t mine but reminded me by Sulis s knicker story
When I was around 15 and attending a convent I was taught maths by the headmistress, a nun who we were all in awe of as she reached up to write a new equation on the board with arm held high her knickers slowly descended beneath her habit and slid down very slowly to her ankles where they rested in a deflated pile . 20 pair of eyes were on stalks watching this, open mouthed She handled it was panach finishing the board writing then she stepped out of them and walked out the classroom saying ‘ they don’t make elastic like they used to’ as the door closed the whole class were doubled up.with giggles

Earlier this year, on the Tube coming home from a day out with DH. A sweet young man jumped up to give me his seat, which I accepted gratefully (always). Just as we were passing each other so I could sit down the train jerked - and the only thing I could grab hold of to stop myself falling was this poor guy's bum! Burning face/deep embarrassment not helped by DH doubled up with laughter ....

Note to self, do not read threads like this whilst eating or you will choke. Literally nearly died laughing.

These are SO good. Thank you all for being prepared to share. Either I have an unusually fertile imagination or I'm bereft of sympathy. Haven't physically laughed so much for ages. Feels wonderful. Thank to all contributors.

Scene - Cromwell road airport terminal, London, late 60's. Off to meet my partner off a plane, so all togged up in new clothes and brand new pink and black lace matching undies, and a batch of Japanese business men with cameras and briefcasees gathered in a group at the bottom of the open-tread staircase I was ascending, when "pop" when went my knicker elastic and to my horror said pants slid down my legs in slow motion to the avid interest of the Japs who went very silent when I had to bend down to retreive them!!!!!

Last week I met a friend for coffee. The seats were bench type and when we finished I slid up to the end to get out. I hadn't noticed that my bench ended about 2 feet from the wall so I landed flat on the floor. Then I found I was stuck by the table and couldn't get up so had to be helped . Embarrassing!

I had been invited to a Sgts mess 'do' by my boyfriend. Everyone was on best behaviour and I was keen to impress. All was going swimmingly until ladies were called to the buffet, I dutifully got my plate full but on returning to my seat got my foot caught in some very ornate long curtains, the entire rail and curtains collapsed to the floor in front of an entire audience. I stumbled but managed to regain my posture and, with plate still full, returned to my seat and sat down frozen to the spot with embarrassment.

Nearly thirty years ago I passed my motorcycle test. Lord knows how because on the very first lesson and before we had even left the training centre I had a bit of a panic moment. In front of the assembled crowds in the centre car park.
Fortunately I hadn't had a sudden onset of complete blindness but had put my helmet backwards. The moments of realisation still feel like some of the longest in my life.

This are sooo funny! Great way to start the week!

My MC moment was on holiday in America, on a day trip to North Carolina. My friends and I decided on a horse and carriage ride, which was quite high off the ground. The young lady assistant was holding stepladders whilst we climbed aboard. Just as I got to the top and was about to step onto the carriage, somebody distracted her and she turned away, letting go of the stepladders. They slid away and both legs went in opposite directions, almost in the splits before she grabbed me! Poor girl was mortified and couldn't stop apologising, I think she thought I might sue! Even though I was in pain, my friends and I couldn't stop laughing.