Have decided I have become neurotic

Elegran, Fred was an expensive parcel box, you are so right , it’s time he earned his keep me thinks ?

Danni, ‘ I am what I am ‘ , at the moment I don’t know who I am because I am not me . Don’t think this makes sense ?

Hi Annie - I truly hope that you get back to being you sometime soon!!

Hi Danni, I hope so x

Annie I think you need to have someone you love and trust to help you with the first steps. Do you have a kind neighbour?
And you also need to really WANT to do it.

Fennel, I so want to do it, I admit I need help to start, i don’t know my neighbours, never seen the person who lives next door and I have been here 20 months. I live in the last bungalow of the Cul de Sac .

No longer have my family so bit stuck, I will get out on it though , disappointed I couldn’t shortly after I went on it the day it was delivered , my confidence come back, now it’s gone again. I will save a bit then advertised for help for the first few times ,

Annie with your determination you will do it!

Annie why not phone your son in law who isn't and ask him to get on his bike and just cycle along beside you for your first proper outing? You don't need to go far, just further than you managed to get when you took it out on the paths around your bungalow. Just knowing he's beside you will give you a boost of confidence I'm sure.

There is a Welsh proverb that I'm sure you'll be familiar with: Deuparth gwaith yw ui ddechrau (starting the work is two-thirds of it).

grannyactivist, yes he would come , he is going to do a paving area for me and I don’t want to turn to him too much, his wife is so accepting of me, they have two children and he works long hours now he has his own small building firm. If it’s dry this Saturday and he comes to do the paving I will go out on Fred then . I really want to get out .

Thank you x

annie you have been through a lot so it's not surprising your confidence has had a knock.

When I suffered most with claustrophobia I was very restricted in everywhere I wanted to go. I would be anxious about so much and sometimes things would catch me out that I hadn't thought of. I would not travel in a train or horror of horrors an underground tube. No planes certainly no lifts of any kind for over 40 years!
Having decided I must overcome this as much as possible so as not to pass my fears onto my DGC I got in a lift and went (with someone) up one whole floor. My heart was pounding I got very hot sweating etc and it took so long for my heart to calm down enough for me to be able to hear anything over my own heartbeat so I do know what a panic attack is like.
I then had someone talk to me calmly about what I was frightened of (at that point I didn't really want to tell anyone as it sounded so stupid and I thought they would think I was crazy). When I did explain about suffocation and the lack of control of my circumstances instead of laughing they just talked quietly about the fact that lifts/ tubes/ trains etc are not airtight. The air will not run out, I will not suffocate and I will get out.
I took small steps to begin with but I found with each step my confidence grew a little bit. Over the following years I have managed to go in lifts on my own ? and have no panic. I no longer have to force myself, I can cope. I fly in planes and then last year I managed to in an underground tube train. Our fears may be different and for different reasons but I, and many of those on this thread, will be with you annie in our virtual way offering all the support we can for the moment when you too take those small steps in your own time. You are not alone in your scooter (in fact with all of us inside with you the thing will have a heavy load to carry ?).

Doodle , thank you

I had forgotten I was terrified of lifts , I had forgotten I have claustrophobia, how stupid is that? I could slap myself , how can anyone forget that. Because of my lifestyle I never have to use public transport, go in a lift etc. Reading your post I remembered when my father was in hospital , on the 4th floor, I got in the lift then shot out again, hung about by the lifts waiting for people to use one so i wouldn’t be on my own, a lift engineer entered, i thought ‘thank you God’ got in the lift then came the thought, something wrong with this lift if an engineer is in it, back out, climbed the stairs!
In the seventies a leave friend and I wanted to go to Turin , the shroud was being viewed . I refused to fly but was willing to drive on my own from Wales to Italy , we didn’t go !

I feel a prat now, so concentrating on overcoming this new phobia I didn’t think it through, that damn canopy , I would be closed in. Said I was neurotic, I am a stupid neurotic.

So need to choose, do I tackle two phobias at the same time or get the canopy off and concentrate on getting out on Fred.

Thank you for sharing x

Oops annie hope I haven't made it worse by reminding you. I assumed straight away that you were claustrophobic because of your comment about the canopy fitter saying you would be closed in. Didn't mean to make you more anxious ?. Perhaps you have the right idea to tackle the two things separately. Get the canopy off and get out and about on Fred now while the weather is not too bad. Then when you're more confident in going out, put the canopy on and try it. If you can't cope to begin with you can always wear a raincoat and rain hat. Get scooty Fred charged up and have a go. ?

Annie, Doodle has said what I was going to say, about a raincoat and hat. Definitely try and scoot about while the weather is fine, ( it can be dry in Wales you know!)
Or how about the canopy accesss door being held open?. Could it be?
You know, we are determined to get you travelling

Annie I’m the same as you with lifts. I will only get in with someone else, often having to hang around for a bit. If they get out before my floor, I just follow them out and do the rest by stairs. I really hate the things.
Regarding Fred, I would suggest you try him without the canopy. Then, as you get more used to Fred himself, you can try the canopy. That way you are not facing two phobias together.
When did you say the poetry class was? I hope you haven’t missed one?

Doodle, you have helped me , thank you

Auntyflo , the side can be rolled back but the men who fitted it advised it could damage it, why have a side which rolls back ?

I have to decide , with or without, the firm charge £80 to come out ! I will work something out. I so want to get out

Belladonna, I had forgotten how frighten I was of lifts , no lifts in this town. When I was in hospital to have gall bladder out, they put me on the trolley and I stsrted to tremble , the nurse said ‘ no need to be frightened this really is a routine operation,’ I squeaked ‘ i’m not afraid of the operation i’m frightened of that lift’ .

I will phone the firm tomorrow, gulp

Thank you for your support and understanding x

Annie, surely your canopy can be fitted or removed without the need to call out the scooter company? Can you investigate this, as an £80 callout charge seems excessive.

It is a lot Auntyflo, they didn’t give me an instruction book , I don’t know anyone local who could do it. It all seemed such a good idea a few months ago.

Maybe every time you are feeling a bit downhearted by the scooter situation you should say to yourself "I don't know how or when but I will conquer this!". Then you are replacing a negative thought with a positive one.
Anyway Good Luck!

Dannie, I like that thank you

Glad to hear you're getting out, Annie. Go girl!

Hell bells, I decided to remove the canopy, son in law who isn’t came over yesterday evening with one of his workmen and started on the extra slabbing for Fred. I thanked him this morning and said ‘ that canopy has to go’ he replied ‘ don’t do that now I have stsrted the slabbing ‘

Just as well I never do the lottery, I can't win ?

What’s the latest on Fred, Annie?

I would have thought the canopy should be easily temoved for good weather Seems odd you have to get someone out to do it. I personally would prefer to get used to one thing at a time. I think it will be fun once you get used to it Anniebach. My brother got one and we all tried it out round the block. I think in the future lots of people will have them and we'll have special lanes. Just do a little run each day until you feel confident and you'll soon be whizzing along!

And yes I too take rescue remedy and would have my emergency tool!

Hi x

Fred is parked near the front door was blocking the path, son in law who isn’t layed paving area at weekend to widen path which must please milk and post delivery chaps.

Difficult to explain canopy , metal rods fitted into clamp things and the thick plastic cage is attached to the rods, it took two men to fit it and they took Fred to their van where they had tools.

When I bought Fred it all seemed so simple , I was so positive thanks to all the support here. Then EFT practitioner decided to give up practice, this was a disappointment, she said she would introduce me to neighbours in the close. I am more annoyed with me than anything else. Want to give me a good shaking, I have never been weak but self confidence has hit rock bottom. Less than Two years ago I was chair of local party, helping run a drop in centre for people with mental health problems, a guide at the cathedral and with the cathedral flower arranging group, caring for my granddaughters and my daughter. Moved house year last January to be close to my daughter and have bigger garden. Now I am a stupid , dithering fool.

Sorry , thank you x

Anniebach, be kind to yourself. You are still grieving, grief affects us all differently. Take tiny steps in the right direction.

Sending you a virtual hug, I shall sit down with a cup of coffee now imagining you doing the same - see we've had a coffee together ☕️??