Cliquey

Henetha??

Thank you Bluebelle I really do exist then!

Feeling ignored is not nice, but being hounded or stalked by someone that you’ve disagreed with is worse. Nasty personal comments. I don’t usually mean to offend though I accept I’m a bit sharp sometimes!

I butt out of threads when certain posters enter them.

Twice I know I’ve not understood an “in” joke amongst posters and posted something inappropriate. Once I retreated in embarrassment. ?The second time I was severely reprimanded for something I think I couldn’t have been expected to understand. It was very much a “This is our thread. Piss off.”

WhatI really like about GN is the variety of topics. You never know what the day will bring ?

hillwalker, I'm not town based but live in a large village, so not rural either. I wonder what difference you think that makes? A genuine question - not having a go.

Is GN cliquey? Can seem to be, but if you think it is now, you should have been in in the early days! I think you need to be a bit thick skinned. I am frequently ignored, and I think that it is sometimes because my posts are a bit like my fishing rods - long and lightweight - and people can’t be bothered to read them. Why should they? I don’t care for long posts either! But there are some extremely nice folks on here and there are always going to be one or two with whom you build a kind of empathy. I take from GN what I need and what suits me and try and give a little back where I can. I think this is probably the maxim for most. I hope you recover your equilibrium and feel better soon, farview ?.

PamelaJ1
You say say you were 'ignored' on the 'neck' thread.
19 people have commented on that thread. 2 were given a mention. That means that you and 16 others were 'ignored'

I'm thinking out loud here, but would it be helpful to have a 'newbie' emoji that posters new to the site could use at the end of their posts for the first month or so of posting - or in their first however many posts? Perhaps a waving hand?

Thank you all for your lovely posts,I've been on GN for at least 2yrs,had some wonderfully lovely responses i.e when our Molly (dog) died, my quit smoking attempts etc ..last night everything got to me, peeked at GN felt,low,weepy,angry..not at GN.. just life.. wouldn't be without you all

Hello, farview. I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling a bit low at the moment, and that you soon feel better. ?
I suppose GN might seem cliquey at times, but I don't really feel that it is. Some posters have very strong opinions about things which might come across as quite off putting at times. My advice would be to continue posting, though, because there are a lot of lovely ladies and gents who do post, offering lots of support, advice and friendship. I've met with two lovely GN's in real life on a couple of occasions and we hope to be meeting again soon. You may find that you might do the same sometime.
Take care, and post again soon. ?

This is to Bluebelle: slightly off topic but I think you might have brought this up somewhere else? Or someone did... the format should change to allow people to reply to a post rather than just to follow on where the post being replied to has been long forgotten.

Not sure am making myself clear? But I have thought people were replying to something I’ve said only to realise they are talking about someone else’s!

Facebook give the option to reply to certain posts but still make them visible to everyone. I do find it less confusing

I am fairly new and it has taken some courage to go start up a few threads of my own,but with brilliant reactions,and so then decided to dip my toes into some of the more regular threads mentioned.Again in the main a great reaction,perhaps not by all as yet,but these threads are I realise very busy.I am going no where and hope as folk get to learn more about me, the reluctant ones may realise I am just me,a simple soul that loves writing,reading,sharing and making new friends.....no hidden agendas.
No cliques here in my limited experience, just warm, friendly folk.

Hope you're feeling a bit brighter today Farview and that your troubles, whatever they are, are soon resolved. I've been on GN for a couple of years and didn't post for ages for the reasons that you give: it seemed like a closed shop! I can't post everyday due to work commitments and I often end up posting late at night when everyone else has gone to bed - hence not many replies! But I've made some fab friends herewho have been a constant source of friendship and support. I've met a GNetter for coffee and I'm so pleased I did because she was lovely too! I feel that there are far more lovely, helpful, supportive and friendly people here than there are rude and unpleasant ones. Just reach out!

Hello Ninathenana, Kittylester, the difference I notice lack of posts on good walks people have done or wildlife spotted, or village politics. I will admit I have only been in a village for 3 years having spent 40 up a rough track with out lighting, so being in a village with it’s unbounded social activities is still a big thing for me. I just don’t see posts about village life, how the bus didn’t turn up, village schools etc.

I do not believe that there are "cliques" on Gransnet. There are a few people who pop up to regularly support the views of those they agree with but that is hardly a clique.

Sorry you're feeling down farview. I don't think your post could be perceived as "lashing out" although it did rather perplex me. I hope things are soon better for you.

Thanks for your reply. hillwalker. I know quite a few people on here who enjoy good walks and post about wildlife etc - quite often in the kitchen - but try starting a thread and see what happens.

The first thread I started received a fair few supportive comments (it was about ironing table cloths because my very capable sil was coming!) but then I was roundly told off for allowing it to bother me and that I should be thinking of more important things!!

If only there were a Like button. I often have a quick read through on my phone, but with no time to post. A quick Like would be so handy, and the OP would at least be aware that others had read and agreed with them.

As would the longed for Edit option. Oh to dream......

Sometimes it is hard to communicate without face to face contact and misunderstandings occur.
I have been posting for approx. 9 months and killed off quite a few threads and only been brave enough to start one which immediately died a death.
I take comfort from the fact that in 'real life' I joined a Senior group in a Gym and it took over a year to find a comfortable place to be in. As some of you have pointed out we cannot bond with everyone.

I hope things improve for you soon farview and that you start to feel better.

I don't think there are cliques but obviously some posters may have a similar viewpoint to others and agree with them - although, of course, they may disagree about others.

'Killing a thread' is something that may have happened to many of us - and posting something which is totally ignored too.
I think that GN can teach you to be a bit more philosophical and you can say 'Ah well, it doesn't matter as it's not RL' - although it does take a bit of time to learn that.

I communicate regularly by email with two GNs I have never met and monthly I meet up with 3 more for coffee and we have been doing it for over 3 years. I am not sure if I would have met any of these people in RL but they have been very helpful to me and we all get on extremely well.

I am well aware that I am rarely off GN but if you do not want to read what I write- that is fine with me. I have been with GN for a few years now and I have picked up so much it has been extremely useful.

I have picked up so much it has been extremely useful.
Yes, that's the other thing, Charleygirl, I think I have learned a lot since joining.

Grannyactivist That is a very good idea. I have reported it to GNHQ as a useful suggestion.

For new posters - we can report posts using the button just above each post, between "Add comment" and "Private message" and they will take a look at it. That is mostly used to report abusive or spammy posts, but it brings to their notice anything you want them to see - and reporting a post of your own also gives you an easy way of adding a message to it for the admin staff!

I meant your post at Sun 29-Jul-18 11:11:11 Ga

Hillwalker I would certainly contribute to threads about hillwalking and wildlife. Wish I could still do it.
Also village life, from a french perspective.
There are a few other Grans who are or have been walkers.

Petra , I did say I wasn’t bothered, only mentioned it as an example. I was the first person to mention one of the solutions that someone else got ‘praised’ for. I don’t think praised is the word I’m looking for but my minds gone blank! Maybe credit for? Anyway as I said I’ve just got used to it, it happens to lots of people I think the time it takes to post sometimes makes it occur.

Sorry you are feeling down Farview.
I’d say just post on the threads that interest you. Sometimes people answer you sometimes not. Sometimes they agree with you sometimes not. Sometimes people are just busy and don’t have time to comment. In general it’s not personal and any nasty remarks ( few and far) are best ignored. Those who make them enjoy the drama I think.