Cliquey

I have always felt welcome on any thread and when meeting GNs in real life.
It might take time to get used to the shorthand that is used. This has built up over time and seems normal to old hands but may intimidate newcomers.

I think it was easier in the early days marmight as there were fewer of us to get to know. Now one has to be fairly dedicated to keep on top of things and I do not really have the time to do that.

I'm really chuffed to see long standing members because I feel I know them and I suppose that might make it seem cliquey.

I must have been posting for about 9 months now and still feel new.
‘In group’ might describe it better, and to those not part of it, the jokey to and fro repartee that often happens (regardless of other GNs comments in between and their jokes) can disrupt and spoil the thread. This is what I find irritating and excluding, not the N & P threads.

I felt like that at first farview several of those people have moved on now so it's not so bad. I agree people with similar views are going to join forces in a debate sometimes getting personal but hey ho we can always look at a different thread.
I'm sorry life is difficult for you at present, hope things improve soon.

No need to apologise for posting how you were feeling yesterday evening farview. Sorry that you're having a tough time.

I joined gransnet about five years ago, around the time I retired. I'd lurked for a while here and on mums net. I didn't feel I "fitted" in either place but took the plunge and joined the place more fitted to my life stage . I enjoy the politics and news discussions, inevitably, feelings can get agitated and those with similar political views may post "I agree with x". I confess to having done just that, especially where x expresses herself more succinctly than I could. I won't have ever met x in real life but of course, I can identify regulars whose posts I enjoy, whether or not we're in the same political camp.

Farview - I am sorry you are feeling under stress at the moment; but glad that Gransnet gave you scope to let off steam - we all use it in that way sometimes.

I do not think it is cliquey. There are folk on the politics thread who club together - simply because they agree with each other - but I can see that it might feel uncomfortable if they are thought to be "ganging up" on someone who presents a different viewpoint. The politics thread does get a bit personal because people feel strongly, which is why I am not often found on there.

I also seldom visit Soop's kitchen - not because it is cliquey (which is the last thing that Soop would want), but because often there are themes that have been long-running and it is hard to find a way in. That is fine though and causes me no bother.

I think it is interesting that being ignored or disagreed with hits so hard at times with some people on what is after all a virtual reality. It troubles me when people feel personally offended by that and it adds to their life's challenges.

There are people whose character you get to know through their posts; some who you know to expect to agree or supportand others who you know will be more challenging. And I think we are more inclined to speak our minds in this virtual world - which is both a good and a bad thing!

I have received so much support and information/advice on here; so the balance of good and bad is for me very clearly on the positive side.

Farview … you have been very polite and mild mannered for someone going through a stressful and unhappy time. I really hope things improve for you soon. and that GN can perhaps take your mind off your problems briefly.

I agree with Bluebelle and Marmight and others. I often post something I think is relevant and possibly helpful, and am totally ignored. If one of the old crew posted similar, they get replies, from the people they "know" on here. It all sounds very petty written down. It's just that if you are not awfully confident and witty, to be ignored on a forum is a bit sad.

It's just a case of "plodding on anyway" and keep posting. I suppose it's like when you go to a new group in real life, people don't know you at first and it takes a while to really feel part of the group.

I know exactly what you mean Farview. (I hope you are feeling brighter now). I sometimes feel the same about GN being clicky but I think that depends on how I am at the time. I have killed off more threads than I can remember. Think that is because I generally have to ponder on something for a while and by the time I dive in everyone else has moved on. Otherwise I sometimes feel I have been ignored and everyone else carries on over me. Some of the GNetters actually know each other, I can understand that. At other times apparently being ignored doesn’t bother me at all.

Sealife, I get the ignored treatment too, it happened the other day on the thread about aging necks. I think it happens to everyone at sometime. If my name isn’t familiar to someone but another’s is then they pick up on the familiar one. I’ve been guilty of that but haven’t meant to.
What irritates me is those people who seem to set themselves up as the guardians of good taste and decency?
They seem to be on here for the express purpose of telling others off.

Sorry- seacliffe not sea life?????!

Farview, I am a relative newby, people have been kind and welcoming. If you post on the political/news threads remember to put on your tin hat!!!! lol!
Hope you are feeling better in yourself today ?

There are a few main players who seem to run the show and nobody challenges them.

There are loads of really nice, kind people.

Its not real is it, though? and is no substitute for human contact.

It’s a shame that people feel ignored when they post and don’t get an answer. This happens a lot, but there wouldn’t be enough hours in the day to comment on every post you enjoy. You can be sure that others will have read your comment and it’s likely that it will have helped or amused someone, perhaps one of the “lurkers”, who read but don’t post. I’m well used to killing off threads by now!

And I meant to say I’m sorry you’re going through it at the moment, farview. I hope things improve for you.

I am also new farview but my observations are that most GN’s appear to be town or city based, I haven’t had the feeling that there are many rural posters. I hope to be proved wrong.

My town is on the edge of the Chilterns I can walk to the woods in under 10 minutes.

Hope you feel more cheerful soon Farview

Every so often we have this same thread ( just saying) when somebody is feeling down or sensitive.
GN is much better now than it was ( my opinion) simply because we have a lot of new posters and it has become a more open and friendly sort of forum.

I have met (real life ) quite a few lovely GNers and still have monthly meet ups with some of them, so that’s another great aspect of GN.
It helps not to be a sensitive soul on any forum, say what you honestly think but be prepared for disagreements.
There is so much helpful information on here and handy tips etc that I have found very useful.
I really don’t think there are any cliques on here now.

Hoping your problems are soon sorted, farview.
I agree with those who say that maybe on N & P threads there seems to be cliques, especially when it comes to pro and con brexit.
Otherwise not.
And like someone else wrote, at first I often seemed to 'kill' a thread. It doesn't bother me now.

Yes, that is the reason that posts get ignored. There are hundreds of conversations all going on at the same time with hundreds of people contributing. There could be a dozen posts on a thread since someone last looked at it an hour ago, and typing a dozen times, "Thank you for your post XXXX, it was so interesting" and "Do you really think so, YYYY?" and "Are you new, XXXX? I don't remember seeing your user name before." could take them so long that there are a dozen more before they get to what they want to say. By then the chat has moved on to another point.

Also it is not obvious that you are new and could do with some encouragement - there are thousands of members, you could just be someone who has been posting for ages on a subject that most people on that thread don't usually read.

I think that as a new member you just have to keep putting in comments on everything you can. If you actually say "I am new to GN, so I've not seen this thread before, but I think . . ." you will be pleasantly surprised at your welcome.

Good morning, Farview. I hope you are feeling better today. ? I have to agree with what other posters have said, Old Batty and Maggie, for example. GN is a valuable source of information about all sorts of things and is also hugely entertaining but please don’t take anything personally. Pick the bits that you like and enjoy. ?

Fairview I hope all these postings are helping to make you feel a bit better and a bit more included. I dont think I would be allowed in anyone's clique if there was one and I probably wouldnt notice if there was one either. People ignore me in real life. Is it just me who thinks they are having a conversation with someone but its as though you hadn't spoken at all as they go ploughing on with their own theme?
As Groucho Marx is reported to have said ' I wouldn't want to be in any club that would have me as a member'.

We are all good at times at killing threads, Fennel, but not it seems the ones that could do with being killed off and never seen again. They go on for ever.

farview x. It isn’t cliquey now . I don’t post as much as I use to because I have very little to say , makes a change ?

Much depends on the topics on threads, I am useless at the games, past caring about Brexit and not going on holiday .

I do know this is the one place where people care .

Sorry you are stressed my love . Sending a Cwtch, you can only get one in Wales ?

hillwalker hello, I don't think we've "met"
I live a rural life nearest small town is 20min drive and city an hour away. To the front of us is the sea and behind is marsh.

winterwhite I have been a member since the very begining. Sometimes I don't understand the "in jokes" and I certainly don't regard myself as part of the 'in group' I enjoy the humour between posters on some threads and feel it enhances rather than spoils the thread.
I joined hoping for a few laughs and I've had more than a few LOL moments.
I think groups that have had a few RL meet ups can come across as just that..... a group. Probably because they have talked about things you would not discuss here and so are more friendly with each other.
Observation, not criticism.

Must admit I've always slightly felt as if I'm on the outside of some inner circle on GN. But that's life. I've got used to it and just plod on regardless.