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Feeling hurt.

(99 Posts)
chicken Thu 19-Jul-18 15:02:59

It's our diamond wedding anniversary today and no one remembered, not even OH.

VIOLETTE Fri 20-Jul-18 13:50:06

Congratulations flowers wine....sad he hasn't remembered ...60 years is a very long time ! Do what I do ....buy yourself something to celebrate ...new watch > necklace, ear rings (ear rings are always my go to !) and show him them when you get home......and thank him for the anniversary present (better get a nice bottle of wine too ...he may, just may, have a surprise for you ...and then you can present him with the wine (champagne !) .....if not, chill it, drink it and enjoy ! If you still have your wedding dress and it still fits ....why not wear it tonight when you have dinner !!!!! If he still doesn' t remember nick a For Sale sign from somewhere and plant it in the front garden ................

4allweknow Fri 20-Jul-18 14:38:54

Congratulations on your 60 years. Glad you made a bit of a stand and took the night off for yourself. In my household the family's anniversaries are always remembered with a card. However we don't receive any for ours. We did though receive a gift, cards and flowers for our 50th. Mainly I think through reminding them of the coming event.

sodapop Fri 20-Jul-18 14:45:33

Congratulations chicken that's some achievement. flowers
I have to admit I consistently forget our wedding anniversary, my husband reminds me a couple of days later !!
Treat yourselves to a night out or weekend break but don't let this overshadow 60 years.

Sheilasue Fri 20-Jul-18 14:57:21

That’s so sad, how can they just not bother.
It’s are golden this August my dd has arranged a meal for us all in a London restaurant can’t wait.

Sheilasue Fri 20-Jul-18 14:57:54

Oops our

annsixty Fri 20-Jul-18 14:59:07

I like the touch of wearing your wedding dress.
I do still have mine after 60 years.
If only I could get into it never mind fastening all the tiny pearl buttons up the back.
I have put on "rather a lot" of weight since that long ago day.

KatyK Fri 20-Jul-18 15:25:16

Wow. I am gobsmacked by how thoughtless people can be.

chicken Fri 20-Jul-18 15:27:42

I have still got the wedding dress, laboriously made by myself, which had tiny pearl buttons all down to the hips and along the tight sleeves. My mother looked after it for years, then gave it back to me---having cut off all the buttons "In case they come in handy for my sewing"!

hugaby Fri 20-Jul-18 16:01:19

Here is the link where you can arrange for Greetings from the Queen for significant birthdays and anniversaries.
www.gov.uk/get-birthday-anniversary-message-from-queen
A quick search on the internet brings up this information very quickly

Sorry to all of those whose birthdays/anniversaries have been 'forgotten' it must be heartbreaking for you

Bijou Fri 20-Jul-18 17:18:06

In 1951 my husband was working in Italy. He wrote to me (few phones in those days) “I think it is someone’s Birthday tomorrow, better send a card.” It was my birthday.
However when I went out to join him it was our tenth weddin,g anniversary and he had booked tickets for La Scala, Milan as a surprise.

pollyperkins Fri 20-Jul-18 17:19:07

Candelle -actually I think pearl barley is very funny for a pearl anniversary. I'd have laughed and dined out on it for months! But I would have wanted a serious present too. Come to think of it ,what did I get for our pearl anniv ...?

pollyperkins Fri 20-Jul-18 17:20:56

How wonderful Bijou. I keep hinting at things like that -I've mentioned opera at Verona but he doesn't get the hint. However he usually remembers which is something!

Nanny123 Fri 20-Jul-18 17:30:59

Oh no I feel for you so much.

Congratulations by the way

maddy629 Sat 21-Jul-18 06:20:31

Congratulations form me too flowers and wine

sodapop Sat 21-Jul-18 06:48:34

Don't get this out of proportion, its thoughtless but certainly not heart breaking or the end of the world. Your husband must be a good man for you to have stayed married for 60 years chicken. Concentrate on the positives of which I am sure there are many, wine

stella1949 Sat 21-Jul-18 07:29:04

Communication is the key . Did you say absolutely nothing and then expect that DH and the rest of them would magically remember ? Much more sensible to say , a week before, " well since it's our 60th next week, do you want to go out for dinner , take in a movie ?" And if you want some recognition from the adult children, mention it a week ahead . Don't do the passive-aggressive thing and say nothing, then get hurt and upset about it. That only leads to unhappiness all around.

icanhandthemback Sat 21-Jul-18 08:08:00

stella1949, great post.

Aepgirl Sat 21-Jul-18 11:36:53

I think I would have dropped hints some time ago.

Jamie Sat 21-Jul-18 15:11:56

Many Congratulations from me too.

M0nica Sat 21-Jul-18 15:26:44

DH doesn't get a chance to forget WA. Even though we do not go over the top, I usually say a week or two before the event, 'Where shall we go for a meal on our anniversary?' and that is what we do.

It is our 50th this year and we discussed how to celebrate it about 18 months ago, and booked the accommodation.

Personally, I think remembering birthdays, anniversaries etc is, so to speak, a two edged sword. Of course nothing will happen if neither person says anything. Once one person sets the ball rolling, the other person will usually join in, often enthusiastically.

If we have been married a long time we should know whether our spouse is an anniversary celebrator or not and act accordingly.

GabriellaG Sat 21-Jul-18 15:37:18

I hope that last 60 years have brought more joy than sadness. I'm sure that most men don't place as much importance on birthdays or anniversaries as do women.
It's not a slight, perhaps more that you make him feel so comfortable and contented that the days and years just whizz by.
Here's a cake to share with him, which may give you a few crumbs of comfort. wink
Congratulations...cupcakewinecupcakewine grin

Maggieanne Sun 22-Jul-18 21:35:24

Sorry if anyone has already mentioned this but you have up to six months to request a card from the queen, check it out online. Sorry you didn't get a card but, men eh, they need a good reminder about anything like that. Happy Anniversary, chicken.

cornishclio Sun 22-Jul-18 21:55:41

So sorry it got forgotten by your nearest and dearest. Does your OH normally remember your anniversary?

I am lucky in that my OH gets me flowers and a card every year. I feel bad I don't get him presents but he always gets a card and we always go out for dinner or a day out. We celebrated 36 years this month so a way to go before we get to 60.