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Feeling hurt.

(99 Posts)
chicken Thu 19-Jul-18 15:02:59

It's our diamond wedding anniversary today and no one remembered, not even OH.

icanhandthemback Fri 20-Jul-18 10:44:57

Without telling your husband how hurt you feel, you are not giving him the chance to redeem himself. I’d have thought that after 60 years you could be open and honest with each other. Mind games are for the young and stupid not the old and wise grin. Have some flowers ? from me and try to enjoy the achievement of going the distance. You deserve to.

Lindylou23 Fri 20-Jul-18 10:48:15

Congratulations, treat yourself to something??

KatyK Fri 20-Jul-18 10:54:36

Congratulations. Everyone on here is so nice. Personally I think it's diabolical to be forgotten like this.

Sandrax Fri 20-Jul-18 10:56:56

What did you get for him? Perhaps he is feeling sad that you forgot.

youngagain Fri 20-Jul-18 10:59:42

Congratulations chicken! Make sure you treat yourself in some way today, even if no-one else does! flowers

Overthehills Fri 20-Jul-18 11:00:52

We’ve never celebrated our wedding anniversaries so I’ve no idea whether DH remembers or not! He’s not good at birthdays though so probably not.
I’m sorry Chicken, 60 years is a long time and you were obviously disappointed, but I would do what others have suggested and arrange something for the two of you. That way that’s what you’ll remember and not the hurt.
flowers

Foxygran Fri 20-Jul-18 11:03:16

Congratulations! ???? Hope you have enough vases....
I would be hurt too and I have to say that my husband would be unlikely to remember either! But we love them - dates just don’t seem to be important. As other people have said, it’s the day to day living and loving that really matters x

Legs55 Fri 20-Jul-18 11:03:44

Congratulations flowers & wine from me. My Great Aunt & Great Uncle were married for 60 years & got a card from the Queen, my Great Aunt also lived to be 100 so received one for her Birthday, my DM had them, I hope she's kept them.

My DH & I only exchanged cards on our 1st Anniversary but we would have a special day out, sadly he died before our 21st Anniversary (my 3rd Marriage, his 2nd). My DD always remembers.

My DM has been planning her 90th Birthday Celebrations, 2019, since she turned 88 last yeargrin.

anitamp1 Fri 20-Jul-18 11:08:05

From experience most men don't set much store about special events. My husband wouldn't care if he never got a birthday card. He's got better over the years. But i can remember back many years when I was in my mid 30s. DH in forces and we were stationed in Germany and due posting home. Planning on buying house but needed temporary house. No quarters available so we came back to UK for a week to look for house to rent temporarily. Stayed at Travel Lodge. Woke up my birthday morning without a birthday card or present of any kind. We werent in an area where we had any family or friends. DH hadn't even bought a card for our 5 year old to give me. His response was that he didn't think I'd be bothered as we were away from home. I was very hurt. But, like I say, he has got better over the years.

glammanana Fri 20-Jul-18 11:10:32

Many congratulations chicken on reaching such a milestone sending you my heartfelt sympathy about your family not remembering the special day.
Does your husband have some memory loss at all maybe that is the problem ?
I would get myself ready and take him out for a special meal this evening if you can, also don't let your children get away with the fact that you are very hurt with their forgetfulness. flowerswine

vickya Fri 20-Jul-18 11:28:02

Congratulations, Chicken. if you love husband and are happy with him why not get him a present and book a meal out, as someone suggested. Give him the present and tell him why and that you want to celebrate so are going out. Have a lovely time!

Nannyme Fri 20-Jul-18 11:28:32

Congratulations, it would have been my diamond one today too if I had stayed married to him.

Miamax5 Fri 20-Jul-18 11:34:30

Congratulations!! It’s our Ruby Anniversary next year and because I want a big party I’m organising it. Have already booked venue ?. I know if I left it to OH or children it wouldn’t happen as I’ve always been the organiser!

annsixty Fri 20-Jul-18 11:35:38

Prompted by this thread I have applied online for a card from the Queen for our 60th in less than two weeks.
It felt a bit sad when in the place for relationship to celebrant, I had to put celebrant, but who cares.

PECS Fri 20-Jul-18 11:45:41

Hope you are feeling less hurt todsy. Disappointments over celebrations do hurt but if DH is a loving and loved partner ..nothing fundamental has changed. flowerswine

Gillcro Fri 20-Jul-18 11:57:27

congratulations 60 years. ??

Candelle Fri 20-Jul-18 12:41:16

Many congratulations, Chicken. I hope you now know how many people will be thinking of you today on your 'special day'.

It may amuse you to know that on our 30th wedding anniversary (nearly twenty years ago - and there nearly wasn't another twenty years of marriage...) my beloved husband bought me a....... bag of pearl barley. He thought it funny.................................

You are not alone!

fluttERBY123 Fri 20-Jul-18 13:00:27

After painful experiences I always assume everyone will forget, so in the run up remind them in various different ways, none of which are they taken in by. Gets the job done though.

hulahoop Fri 20-Jul-18 13:00:56

Congratulations chicken ??

123kitty Fri 20-Jul-18 13:06:40

Congratulations. What did he do when you gave him his present or card? Is this the 1st or 60th anniversary he's forgotten? If 1st forgive him, if more you should know by now he'd need reminding. After 60 years forgive him and no sulking.

Maggie1949 Fri 20-Jul-18 13:17:16

I keep cards from my husband to me and from me to my husband and I just bring them out on specific dates ie. Christmas Birthdays and Anniversaries. Saves money time and as I put them out my Husband can never forger

Maggie1949 Fri 20-Jul-18 13:17:36

Forget

dogsmother Fri 20-Jul-18 13:26:01

???? Diamond congratulations from me too.

We are in danger of going down the same route sadly. It’s was our pearl last year (30) completely past us all by. It’s mostly because we married in December and two of our children were born in December, then of course there is Christmas .........it was a and still is over looked by us never mind our family.

EmilyHarburn Fri 20-Jul-18 13:26:10

There is an anniversaries office at Buckingham Palace. What a pity you did not fill in the application. At lest the Queen would have 'remembered' You could try and see if they will send you a belated card.

www.royal.uk/sites/default/files/media/wedding_form_with_faqs.pdf

travelsafar Fri 20-Jul-18 13:38:26

Oh bless you, I would feel extremely hurt as well.