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income after separation

(33 Posts)
thuberon Sun 03-Jun-18 19:45:36

Sadly, after 30+ years my husband and I have decided to go our separate ways. We are in the early stages of discussion but for the moment things are fairly amicable and we agree that we split everything down the middle. However, it seems that this might mean different things to each of us. We agree that the proceeds from the sale of the house will be split. However my husband's income from private pensions is considerably larger than mine and it seems he envisages paying me a monthly sum to make up my income. I had hoped for a clean split and do not want to be reliant on him to make up my income from month to month. We are due to meet with our financial advisor on Wednesday to inform him of our decision to part. I am rather nervous about the whole thing. I feel out of my depth. I don't know how these things are done and if my expectation is unrealistic. I wonder if some of you well informed, experienced and helpful gransnetters has any advice for me.

thuberon Mon 04-Jun-18 22:16:48

A massive thanks to all who replied. I am going to bookmark the page as its full of details
I will want to refer to again and again. HM999 explained my worst fear very well "amicable splits lose their shine when discussing 'his' money. But I will just have to tough it out like all these other courageous and encouraging souls who have been through it. First step CAB.

KazzaK Mon 04-Jun-18 22:19:08

Firstly get yourself a good lawyer, one that specialises in family law. Perhaps a recommendation? The best family lawyers are ones that will fight your corner but in a pragmatic and calm manner. No point in running up huge costs to fight for something you’re not going to get. All negotiations should be done by the lawyers. Generally speaking you will be entitled to half of any property and his pension. You will both be required to complete a Form E, a financial statement where all assets must be declared with supporting documentation. If an agreement can be reached a consent order can be drawn up and you will both be bound by its terms. Always get the financial matters completed and agreed before applying for a Decree Absolute. Legal fees are costly and a good lawyer will avoid unnecessary expense where possible. Sometimes it is actually cheaper for a barrister to represent you in Court than your solicitor. Good luck.

henbane Mon 04-Jun-18 22:53:28

If you are not retired, pension pots are split. But I am not sure how it works if you are already retired and he has works pension. There isn't actually a pension pot left to split, it is just income. The law has changed on this since I divorced so I can't advise but suggest CAB if you don't have your own solicitor - I know people who have come badly unstuck!

Also, even if it's a final salary scheme it may not include a spouse's pension - you have to pay extra for this! - so don't assume you are covered.

annep Tue 05-Jun-18 00:11:49

grannyben on rereading I get what you're saying about post retirement.?

yggdrasil Tue 05-Jun-18 07:47:39

As newnanny said "AS previous posters have stated the monetary value of everything is added up. This means the house, cars, savings, Isa's. private pensions (not state pensions), household goods, jewelry...."

I had some jewellery inherited from my grandmothers. I made sure this was all passed to my daughter to hold in trust for my granddaughter well in advance. It wasn't mine to put in the pot.

newnanny Wed 06-Jun-18 13:29:45

KazzaK I got my divorce before going to court to sort out finances. That is because my ex dh was deliberately being uncooperative and not turning up to court in order to keep me married to him. Once legally divorced judges seem to go quicker and see it as more urgent too.

JackieBee1 Thu 07-Jun-18 10:57:20

Sorry if this has already been said but don't forget to check when you're eligible for your state pension.
See WASPI for full details.
Good luck x