Do I say something ( this could be a long post)

Er RL minister makes a sleazy comment in RL vs someone on TV says something ‘worse’. I can see I’m in a small minority on this - but it’s not as though in RL ministers have ever behaved inappropriately is it? Phew that’s relief.

Unless you are expecting your friend to confront the minister about his joke (which would probably be very embarrassing for her) just forget it.

I don’t think it’s as dichotomous as that. I’m not criticising the OP for doing nothing - of course it’s her choice and her friend but there is a chance that there is something dodgy about this man. All I can say is one of my best friends is a vicar and he would never never make a comment like that as would none of the men in my family - they would never see it as a joke feeble or otherwise. Why should women accept that man can behave like this and it’s perfectly ok?

I agree with you maryeliza in as much as the OP should mention it to her friend NOT expecting her to take it any further but so she knows how the minister behaved towards her friend and husband. A joke's a joke but his comment wasn't funny and he used offensive language, in my opinion.

Oh for heavens sake! It wasnt sleazy, it doesn't mean he would behave inappropriately, it was just a thoughtless remark trying to be funny which he probably regretted as soon as he said it. Forget it!

I am going to say let it go too. If your friend had not been overly religious I would say something to her about the comment the minister made and how weird it was but bearing in mind she may be quite close to him it could be construed as criticism (which of course it is as the comment was quite inappropriate). He probably did mean it as a joke and it came across completely different. People say things all the time without engaging their brain first and he may have regretted it immediately. I would not worry about it.

If you say so polly as I said jolly good job ministers always behave well and women must always accept whatever sleazy jokes men want to make - don’t we rather infantilise them and do a disservice to decent grown up man who don’t have to talk about ‘fiddling’ with women?

I think the fiddling thing was a mistake. He meant to make a mild joke about 'good job he's interested in cars instead of other women' but then said fiddling with cars and the rest followed -it came out all wrong and as I said he probably regretted it. We are all human and we all make mistakes. Anyway she will probably never see him again so I'd move on personally. Not a big deal.
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Well polly you clearly have the advantage over me of knowing this man and what he meant to say. Jolly good. But actually he shouldn’t have been making any comment about extra marital behaviour in that situation. Still he’s a man, bless him, pat him on the head, didn’t mean to say it blah blah blah. Boys will be boys etc etc

I prefer to think the best of people until proved wrong. I'm probably naive.....

Yep

It’s not naive pollyperkins you can go through life thinking bad of people or you can give them the benefit of the doubt I don’t think because the man is a church minister and made a rather outdated, tasteless joke you can leap to the judgement that he is a paedophile which Maryelize seems to have jumped to when she said there is a chance there s something dodgy about this man of course there’s a chance but if all there’s is to base that on is a silly joke I think it’s a bit of a huge leap and with out a lot more evidence best to just see it as a daft old codger misjudging current humour

I agree Bluebelle

I do love your sarcasm Maryeliza54. lol

I would have just said that I didn't think that was funny. Only a joke if both people are laughing. Idiot.

I agree with you polly and I would let it go ( this time) but if you happen upon this man again Petra and his smalltalk
Is innapropriate, then that would be the time to tell your friend about it.

I'd not put this on to a friends shoulders.
Rather, would it be possible to tell the minister how you feel about his remark?
He's the only person responsible.

Seriously, this would have gone out of my head as soon as he'd spoken. It's an unfunny joke and I just don't get all the angst over it.

I don’t get the angst and vitriol either. This person isn’t even a friend or acquaintance. A chance encounter and a clumsy attempt at a joke. I would have forgotten the remark within minutes and wouldn’t dream of mentioning it to my friend. Some women make bad and inappropriate comments or jokes too, it’s not just men! Some of the reactions on here are leading to a lynch mob mentality - just as well we don’t know who this socially inept man is!!

Totally keep out of it ... always have in mind that people “shoot the messenger “ ... I keep out of other peoples rubbish coz they just take their rubbish out on you too ... not worth the aggro

I’m always sceptical ... don’t give anybody benefit of doubt straight away ....