Personal Hygiene for kids

Isnt it a shame that we can't even identify someone by colour without being called racist. The school receptionist was commending me on pronouncing the child's name correctly at the same time admonishing someone else who had previously come to collect the 'African girl'. It got me wondering how I would feel if I was the only British person in a room and a driver came to pick me up and described me as 'the British woman'. I can honestly say it would not bother me one jot. I am not in any way shape or form a racist and very much resent the inference just for using the word black, if I had said white no one would be bothered. I explained, clearly I thought, why I felt the need as others had told me things I was not sure were true about her culture. Now someone else is accusing me of suggesting she is not really the age given, thanks, i really needed that having come here for advice. I will not join these chats again, too many judgemental people. And for the record I was taken for my dad's WIFE at age 13, so what does that make the person who said it? I give up, what sort of world is it when a person mentions another's colour and is called racist. I have no objection to being called a white woman so why is it different for any other race?

To answer a question that has been raised by someone. My son is a vegan, has been for over ten years, and he definitely has a much fainter body odour than a meat-eater. In fact almost none at all. To touch on a delicate matter, even entering a toilet just after him, there is hardly any smell. I remember reading in a book (Angela´s Ashes?) that the Indian soldiers, who were vegetarians, smelled far less than their Irish counterparts who were on a diet of smoked pork. To go back to the OP, my parents were refugees from Eastern Europe, hence my mother did not shave her body hair, nor did she encourage me to do it. In my ballet class, when I was about 14, the teacher noticed my sprouting underarm hair, marched me to the bathroom and showed me how to use a razor. I was mortified (must have been because I remember it to this day) but really ever so glad that she noticed the problem and helped me to sort it out without too much fuss.

Off on a tangent here - I don't really sweat, hardly ever and I have problems with my ears! I'm a vegetarian but never really perspired before I became a vegetarian. On my fathers side half came from India and France on my mother's side half are Malaysian of Portuguese descent!

My adult daughter used to sweat a lot. Her father sweats a lot! Since she has become a vegan she doesn't sweat as much and her body odour has decreased.

Another off on a tangent thing is that everyone has their own body smell. We can smell them on their clothing even if their clothes are laundered etc.

With my last ex I was attracted by his body smell. Not his aftershave or bathing products, the unique smell of him/his skin. It was a comforting almost biscuity smell!

However, when I found out he was cheating on me and we were going through a lengthy split up, his body odour appeared to have completely changed! It actually repelled me. It was a horrible smell. Make of that what you will!

Sorry lollee, I too am appalled by people saying you are being racist. What utter nonsense -,everyone who travels on the London Underground for years knows that you can often tell who's just sat down next to you with your eyes closed. How is that racist? That is a fact.

Thanks Beau. I have been around many people who smell very badly over the years,the majority white I might add (will I be called racist for that?), but this girl is beyond bad and everyone in or around the same area knows when she is present. It is not her fault, she is 11 for goodness sake and probably knows no better.

It’s something the child’s social worker should be informed about.

I don’t think you’re racist either if that makes you feel any better.

I don't think you are being racist either. When I was living and working in Hong Kong in the 60's a Chinese friend told me that white people had a 'strange smell'. I thought about it and realised we ate much more dairy products.

lollee I am very confused by your post. As you are employed to care for children you presumably had some training. Even if you didn't the organisation you work for must have policies in place to cover the journey and your contact with the children. Somewhere in those policies must be the proper procedure for dealing with any issues with the children you accompany. I suggest you look up those procedures and follow them.

Of course you are not being racist! Please don't be put off Gransnet by some harsh comments. Gransnet can be very supportive. Please stay lollee.

Thanks for the support guys. Trisher, all I am is a passenger assistant, the lowest rung of a tall ladder but with many superiors. Yes, I have had training to keep the children safe on journeys, i.e. make sure they are strapped in with appropriate age seating, not eating or drinking (choking hazard), no fighting amongst siblings and generally keeping them happy and amused. A child who smells is not a safety hazard, it is just unpleasant for those around them. If I were to try and interfere and question my 'betters' it would not go down well. There are many other people with more prolonged time with the child; social worker, parents, carers, teachers, contact supervisors, therefore I must be careful. I feel helpless and maybe it is best to take no action although it is only a matter of time before one of the drivers makes a comment because it is overwhelming. I hope this has now explained everything as I am not sure how much clearer I can be. If you ever collect kids from school you can bet there will be someone like me nearby wearing a badge but with no status. This is a retirement job I have done for 7 years after a 26 year career in local government. I really do not feel the need to write anymore so will not add to the thread again. Thanks again to those of you who have been kind. PS it may clarify further to say that I work for a private transport company and therefore have even less right to interfere in social service business.

Best wishes lollee, I hope you can have a word with the school and your travels with the girl are improved for both her and you.

lollee private companies should operate to the same standards as public bodies. I suggest you look at the guidelines here www.gov.uk/government/publications/what-to-do-if-youre-worried-a-child-is-being-abused--2
Although not abuse the circumstances you describe would almost certainly be assessed as neglect. And any organisation dealing with cared for children is expected to comply with the guidelines.
Failure to act could result in consequences for your employer and you.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Aww,bless her. When girls are bigger and appear to be more mature than others they do tend to have an odour akin to those entering puberty and there's nothing simpler than soap and water as a cure.
A quiet word with the parents ? Maybe the parents have told the child and she's being awkward or having tantrums when told to have a bath ? Lazy child ? I'd find out why/if the child objects.

lollee I really hope that the odd judgmental posters on here have not put you off Gransnet.
The PC Brigade irritate me beyond belief. Looking for offence all the time, when absolutely none was intended.
Also, it has been proven that what we eat or drink does in fact affect our body odour, so describing her as black could have had a bearing on the BO problem.

I have no idea on the restrictions of your role but would you be allowed to give her a small Christmas gift of toiletries?
Maybe her culture doesn't recognise Christmas, maybe you don't, but it's a good opportunity to give her the means to be clean.

"The PC Brigade irritate me beyond belief. Looking for offence all the time, when absolutely none was intended. "
Me too Buffybee. As well as being yet another curtailment of freedom of speech.
lollee - the fact that the girl needs transport suggests there are other issues. So probably there's a social worker involved - speak to him/her about it, but ultimately it's up to the girl's parents.

ps I've just realised this is an old thread. Revived by siranvanjitha.

Thank you to those who have renewed this thread with supportive, helpful comments. Just to clear a few points as I am sure you haven't been able to read every post and my previous explanations.
The girl is in care and being a mere PA I am not allowed to question any aspect of the client's life or history. Carers appear to be of same race but not sure if they are family. We are definitely not allowed to give gifts of any kind as it can be seen as grooming (excuse the unintentional pun), and everyone realises the problem from the top down but no one seems willing to do anything. Have not seen her for some time so can only assume issues have been resolved and no longer in care.

A quiet word in the carers ear ? Otherwise this child is going to be bullied. I don't see any difficulty in explaining something such as this.

The last bit of PC nonsense I heard was that a teacher wasn't allowed to either apply sunscreen during our hot summer nor a band aid to a cut. Getting worse !!

Some people think that it makes them superior to constantly be on the look out for anything that could possibly even remotely offend.
I like this quote from Stephen Fry:

"It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights.
It's actually, nothing more..... than a whine.
'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning ; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase.
'I am offended by that.'
Well, so f---ing what."

Love it Buffybee.

And I'm quite offended by that supercilious know it all who has to pronounce on everything.

I can't quite understand what cultural issues would be in place here?

Poor girl , it sounds as if a sensible teacher/TA at school needs to help out here.
Nothing to do with colour or race.