Welcome to the new Argy Bar and cafe, abandon hope all ye who enter here.?

The Argy is full of glamorous tartywomen and the boys are locked in the back room, warming up.
We need to keep them away from Marydoll!
And here she is! Almost, wearing a red sequinned frock and Lemon in her best sluttiest frock.
We need to get them legless and incapable to keep the boys safe.
Jock, give them complementary Poteen Cocktails triple strength.

Oh poteen is nothing to me and Marydoll with our Gaelic background we were practically weaned on the stuff!

I’ll have a pint of pernod with a Guinness chaser please Buffy .....am so excited, phoar, let me at ‘em!
There’s many a good tune played on an old piano.

Oh dear, I can't remember who or where I am! .

OOOOerrrrrr, who are these lovely boys in the back room with me? I think I have died and gone to heaven.

You did almost die and go to Heaven Marydoll when you fell backwards off your bar stool.
Pint of Pernod and Guiness chaser coming up Lemon, I might join you!
The "lovely boys" have left escaped out of the back door.
Their Manager, Hansum Ron says he's never been in such a Den of Iniquity!
What a compliment!

Well everyone, get ready for a shock........drum roll........marydoll is expecting.........with Santa ? ? It's true. I've just been in soop's kitchen and it's what they're all talking about. I thought I'd better just dash over here as fast as I could stroll over and let you know the news.
I guess we'd better start getting the cellar cleaned up and turned into a nursery. ? I wonder if it will be twins ? ?!

?

I think Marydoll is expected Santa not with Santa. Her fishnet stockings are hanging over the fireplace and I'm being naive. She was quite friendly with a passing stranger last night so they might have been flung there..who knows?

Or am I being naive?

You are being naive! ??

No meno I'm sure we are expecting the patter of tiny feet in the new year and I expect we shall see a lot more of Santa too when he pops in to check on his offspring. Ooh do you think that means that all of us in the Argy will get more presents than usual. ?

The only things that Marydoll is ‘expecting’ are a hangover and a huge credit card bill.
Sorry to disappoint.

You do know that Santa isn’t real, right Doodle? The bloke in the Santa suit is Big Jim our cellarman.
Now, you lot, time to get baking, we have a lot of customers in tonight and those sausage rolls won’t make themselves.
Who likes my new elf hat? I look very fetching if ainsay so myself ( and nobody else will.)

The Admiral and Captain will be in later, I have promised them some ship’s biscuits.....can anyone bake a few?

?No, Santas not real . But who's going to bring me my pressies. I can't possibly do any baking lemon I'm too upset. Not only is there no Santa but Marydoll is having a phantom pregnancy. It's just too much........................................ actually, do I get to sit on Big Jims knee and tell him what I would like for Christmas ?

I do like your hat lemon in fact I like it so much I've been out and bought one myself, look . We could be twins (I would be the prettier one of course )

What a shame about Marydolls phantom pregnancy, I was looking forward to her having twins or triplets.
I'm sure we would have been fantastic at looking after them! . Mmmm! Perhaps as well really!
Anyway, I'd knitted some matinee tops and bootees, the ferrets look so cute in them.
I'm starving! Are there any sausage rolls?

I was disappointed too Buffy. Let's have a couple of dozen sausage rolls each and a few pints of potteen with a creme de menthe chaser to cheer us up ?

I'm up for that Doodle! Cheers!?
I've got my new clothes on, as it's Saturday night, dayglo lemon leggings and a sparkly purple boob tube.
Ta da!!!!!
Forgot my white stilettos but I don't think it looks too bad with my wellies, does it?

Who says it's phantom? Why else would I have developed a stomach so large, my bikini no longer fits? What other reason can there be for me being so BIG?
Who is casting aspersions on my lily white character?
Where on earth am I going to get an outfit for the GNHQ Christmas party?
Questions, so many questions. .
As for Santa, he seems to have done a runner.

It's lemon, marydoll. Me and Buffy were well up for a spot of babysitting but lemon said you were just drunk (or words to that effect). So what is it then? Should we be knitting little baby clothes or have you just been eating too many pork scratchings?
Don't worry about your Christmas outfit. I've found one and left it hanging in the bar for you. It's plenty big enough as it's the cow costume from last year's panto. Oh no it isn't...oh yes it is! ?

Well!!!! Is there a significance in the costume?

I believe I am "expecting" sextuplets! ?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♀️?‍♀️?‍♀️

Ooooo! That's like a litter, Marydoll!
I'm not sure that Lemon would let us keep that many!?

Just popped for a quick one

And to congratulate Marydoll just read good news on Gransnet party thread.

Hope you don't mind I suggested a seasonal name for the new doll.

Amazon (very seasonal in our house).

If twins Amazon and Argos has nice gender neutral
ring to it. ??

Nice crimbo tree.
Erm the fairy on the tops got no knickers on!

Oh, Cherrytree, thank you for your good wishes. I am overwhelmed by the reaction to my condition. Even the beloved and esteemed Soop has sent good wishes.

cherrytree jus coz I got no knickers on don't think you can come in here and tell everyone. It's painful enough with those pine needles in my btm