Welcome to the new Argy Bar and cafe, abandon hope all ye who enter here.?

Buffy the old dog is the Captain, please refer to him as the old sea dog or he will be unhappy.
He seems to have dried off now after his long sea immersion but his uniform has shrunk horribly, but he is too drunk to notice.
Just dropped in with a juicy bone for Jason, how is everyone, happy? Got a glass in your hand?Good, just don’t forget to pay up, the till is suspiciously empty....has marydoll been in by any chance??

When our tea towels are in the wash, we sometimes push a ferret into the beer glasses to dry them, just push one in, twist it and hey presto the job is done.

I've got a 'bar-tab' going, do I just put the money in the till? I'm owing quite a bit now!
Do you do "contactless"?
I think this Admiral chap has had one or two as well. His eyes are as crossed as a basket of whelks.

I thought the old dog Buffy referred to was Marydoll tbh?!

Bar tab? Just hand over your cash and I promise you promise you it will end up in the till

Buffy don’t trust anyone in the bar with your cash!

It’s the Captain, he is hiding out here ( from the wrath of the Admiral.) He may well have crossed eyes after two days on the razzle.

I’m leaving a fresh ( fairly fresh) batch of home made pies in the kitchen, sell them for £2 a go and say that they are ‘beef’

Oh dear! I've just handed a bundle of cash over to Menopaws she said it's always kept down her cleavage!
I'm getting quite peckish now after a gallon of beer, I'll try one of the pies?

Please do, they are delicious ( and no risk at all)

Delicious ? apart from the bits of fur getting stuck in my teeth.
I'll wash it down with another pint of the amber nectar and a splash of poteen.

You’re our kind of girl Buffy ( did you not think to take out your teeth for cleaning? Much easier to get the furry bits out. That’s the trouble with ‘beef’ isn’t it???

I'll give them a swish around in my pint of beer, that should sort them out.
Do I need to change into something glamorous as it's Friday night, I'm still in my overalls and metal toe-capped boots from my shift at the Sewage Plant.

Still no-one here!!!!! Thought I'd make the effort! I've sewn up a few holes in my fishnets, sponged down my leopard print frock and found my white stilletos. Quick spray of Lady Gaga eau de toilette and here I am!!!!!
I'll make a few Poteen Cocktails while I'm waiting!
PoMojito, Popina Colada, Pogarita!
This is fun!!!!!!

Haha, there seem to be a few GNers on shifts there at the moment.
There’s a shower in the back room ( well, it’s a bucket of cold water on a rope really) but you are welcome to use it, there’s Fairy Liquid for your hair, only the best here y’know.
We always keep spare clothes on hangers in the cellar, just don’t use my lurex catsuit.Or else!

Pour me a pint of sherry please Buffy am feeling classy tonight!
I think the regulars are all out nightclubbing at that new place down the road, Ye Olde Tarting Slap, it’s all done
out in a Tudor decor theme and very popular. We need some new decor here, any ideas?

How about getting ready for our Halloween bash lemon.
We've already got the spiders and cobwebs. The ferrets could double as the witches cats ?. I've got a new motor on my broomstick so I'm almost ready. Anyone seen my pointy hat? ???

Pint of Sherry coming up, Lemon!
Speaking of "coming up*, I've had to rush to the outdoor Lav a couple of times tonight!
Must be a touch of Poteen poisoning, don't worry, I've had it before!
could it have been the meat (rat) pie?

Well, it’s not exactly Roland Rat Buffy ( but you’re close!)
Yes, a Halloween theme could work nicely, Meno already has the warts and a black cat, I am looking very orange( because of a badly timed session at the tanning salon) and you are looking a bit green Buffy .....we are halfway there already.???‍♀️??‍♂️?

All I know is I'm missing a ferret

Yes Doodle your pointy hat is in the cellar, been there since last Halloween.The cobwebs look very convincing.

I decided to liberate one of the ferrets Meno

So that's what's climbing up the Captain's wooden leg. I wondered what the high pitched scream was!

Oh that’s a ferret alright! We have loads of the little blighters, they run around here free range.

My brother, Gormless, has just arrived, he's so good looking, just like Lurch from the Adams Family, and young, free and single if anyone is interested desperate .
This pint of Creme de Menthe is settling my stomach a treat!

Ooh hello handsome ? must get him quick before *marydoll sets her sights on him how about sitting here in the corner with me yes I know it's dark but she won't see us here how about I get us a couple of poteens to get you legless warm us up and then you can come back to my place for a ..........night cap #innocentface ?

Too late Doodle! . You have to be up early to beat me!. I must say, he is a handsome fella. .
Those crossed eyes of his are mesmerising and crooked aquiline nose is so ...well words fail me!