Welcome to the new Argy Bar and cafe, abandon hope all ye who enter here.?

marydoll I saw him first ? Now give him to me at once ? let go will you - I want him ? gerroff, he's mine. Stop pulling my hair, you had the last one, this one's mine ? will you just stop hanging onto his ...bits ?. I'm not letting go I am going to pull him away. Will you just let go !!
Oops! Now look what you've done... it's fallen off. ? Ok you can have him ☹️

It's been a while since we had a proper cat fight. Most entertaining, are we taking bets? I'm happy to take your cash

No point! I'm sure to win. Remember the last cat ?fight?

? Sulking in the corner...didn't want him anyway! ?

I don't want him either, I've just spotted someone more interesting.?

Who might that be marydoll.... pretending not to be interested ?

Oi you lot! Put those men back where you found them and get cracking cleaning the loos, baking some pies and washing the beer glasses, far too much loitering going on in the bar.
Big Jim has been complaining about his workload ( you, Marydoll by any chance?) since Barry and the Hans boys left us, so we need to recruit a new bloke......start looking right away ( after the chores I mean.)

I've mentioned farmer Giles from down the road before and after a long hot summer with his shirt off, he's looking lovely. He's got his harvest in so he might be free for a bit of bushwhacking and scrumpy

Do you mean Farmer Giles with the dodgy wig like a haystack and the glass eye fashioned from a marble he dug up in his field? ?I used to go out with his cousin, Worzel Gummidge. He was a bit of alright.

I'll have you know that mop of hair is all his own even though I may have seen a dry clean only label poking out behind his ear and his eyes always look a bit glassy when he looks at me, I think you're just jealous Marydoll

Marydoll I do admire your energy, I have seen you chase a man down while you were wearing six inch heels....the man has no chance!
Amazing! Respect!

Ah yes, Worzel.....say no more!

Oy! Who's broke our Gormlesses wotsit????
He came home in a right state, said he'd been roughed up by two crazy women and he only came in for a few drinks.
Not to worry! I'll have a nice little pint of Malibu while I'm here!
I've not met Big Jim yet!
Is he handsome?
I'm on the prowl for a new boyfriend!???

You are welcome to HIM!

Swaggering in with new man on my arm ? Hello everyone. This is my new chap Geraldo. I met him on holiday. He speaks no English. In fact he's very shy, he doesn't speak at all in fact he doesn't move much either. Marydoll you just stay away from him. He's mine. I know you're jealous but you can't have every man who comes in through the door.
Just don't come near him with a naked flame. He's got a very .......... combustible personality?

Marydoll.....trouble in Paradise?

Doodle we are trying to rid the world of plastics!Take that thing outta here!

?

Mmmm! That swarthy Geraldo looks a bit of allright. I'll just slip over there and offer him a drink ?, I'm sure Doodle won't mind.

buffy, NO ? Don't sit on his knee. You're too heavy he'll probably ???? ....explode. ?.

Was Geraldo not the name of the ferret? You need new glasses Buffybee ??

Oh no! What's happened to Geraldo, he looks a bit flat and wrinkly. You can have him back Doodle!
Such a shame, we were getting on so well.

I have to tell you, he has had a number of names: Germoline, Geraldine, Geronimo, Gaston etc. etc. He/she is a pretty mixed up ferret.

marydoll please do not confuse my beautiful ex man friend with a ferret! It's bad enough buffy sat on him and burst him without you making out he was a ferret. He was such a lovely person, so soft and cuddly to sleep with. Never complained or argued - admittedly he wasn't much of a goer in the sex department but he was nice to cuddle up to. Now bits of him are scattered all over the Argy....in fact, what is that dangly piece hanging from the ceiling fan....?

If it drops in my pint of baileys I will take my business to the Wonky Donkey pub down the road, even I have standards

No, you don’t Meno