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Save the date cards - really?

(38 Posts)
Antonia Thu 12-Apr-18 18:11:29

Nearly every recent wedding we have been to has been preceded by a save the date card, often very many months before an actual invitation arrived. Is it just me, or do I see these cards as simply one more expense driven by stationery companies? Wouldn't you save the date anyway when you get an invitation? I do see the logic in that it might mean you adjust holiday dates or other commitments, but as DH says, it also gives you a cast iron excuse to avoid the wedding by arranging in good time to be away!

Jalima1108 Thu 12-Apr-18 18:14:18

Well, we were advised to save the 19th May but our invitation has gone missing in the post.
Therefore we have arranged to be away that weekend
sad

hildajenniJ Thu 12-Apr-18 18:16:32

I've never heard of "save the date" cards. If the wedding is to be held during peak holiday season, why not just send out the invitations early. Seems an extra expense to me.

Jalima1108 Thu 12-Apr-18 18:17:54

Seriously though, Antonia, I think that formal wedding invitations go out six weeks in advance of the wedding, although most people are told verbally what the date is, so a card does seem to be another money-making idea by card companies.

We have been invited to a wedding the day before - yes, we knew we were 'last minute due to someone else cancelling' but went and had a wonderful time and a wonderful meal. grin

MawBroon Thu 12-Apr-18 18:18:57

Sadly I have had to decline anyway as I shall be watching my little grandsons (8 & 6)indoor sky-diving instead.

Jalima1108 Thu 12-Apr-18 18:19:41

much more fun!!
Are you going to have a go yourself?

MawBroon Thu 12-Apr-18 18:21:56

Our DDs all did a “save the date” email well in dance of the actual invitations. These young people have such hectic social lives it can be hard to find a weekend that suits the majority unless you tell them in well advance once you have firmed up the wedding venue/reception/band etc. Or so they told me as happily we did not have to do any of it tcrsmile

MawBroon Thu 12-Apr-18 18:22:35

Jalima grin there ain’t no Tena lady big enough for that!

jusnoneed Thu 12-Apr-18 18:24:09

We received one from our Nephew and his girlfriend a couple weeks ago, a couple weeks after we had been discussing something with them about their reception. She had made them herself but still a lot of work and cost, just thinking of stamps for the ones she must of posted. The wedding isn't until July 2019.

MawBroon Thu 12-Apr-18 18:25:40

“Well in advance” not “dance” grin

Antonia Thu 12-Apr-18 18:28:45

Hmm, sounds like a good excuse - "Sorry we'd love to come but by great bad luck that's the very day we'll be going indoor sky diving!" ( At our age that might just sound a tad suspicious!)

M0nica Thu 12-Apr-18 19:41:54

The printers would not be offering these cards if there was not a demand for them and I think they are a very good idea. In our own family, our Golden Wedding celebration, a family week away will see a full house because we told everyone a year in advance. We have just sent the invitations out confirming it and the location.

A month ago two members of the family, planning a wedding, small one for a mature couple, found the only dates available for the venue of their choice was late May this year or next year sometime. They have opted for the earlier date, but know already that one close family member cannot be present because they have a commitment on that day that cannot be altered.

janeainsworth Thu 12-Apr-18 20:33:38

I think they’re a good idea too.
It saves the annoyance of having to decline an invitation that you would have liked to accept because you’ve already accepted something else.

grannyticktock Thu 12-Apr-18 21:49:06

It doesn't have to be expensive - an email could would do. When a wedding is arranged many months in advance, it's useful to know the date so that you don't book holidays etc that clash.

ffinnochio Thu 12-Apr-18 21:56:08

I’ve just received a ‘save the date’ notification by email. No cost involved and it’s in the diary. smile

maryeliza54 Thu 12-Apr-18 21:56:21

They are brilliant ideas - life is far too complex these days to only give people 6 weeks notice - especially if it’s a summer wedding and there’s holidays in the mix. I’m going to a wedding in August in a very tourist area and because I had the STD card months ago I was able to book a lovely cottage very near the venue. It’s very thoughtful to give lots of notice - if it’s booked you might as well tell people and avoid disappointment. The bride for this one used paper luggage labels but I agree emails would be fine these days

SueDonim Thu 12-Apr-18 21:57:35

We've just had a Save the Date for a joint 70th birthday party in September. The senders know we all lead busy lives and so wanted to forewarn folks in plenty of time. I'm grateful for their thoughtfulness as it means I can plan not to be away when the party takes place.

My own Dd sent out Save The Date cards, too, for her wedding. They were old-fashioned brown card luggage tags with their names and the date on, finished off with a ribbon and cost a tiny amount extra with the invitations.

Gerispringer Fri 13-Apr-18 02:24:32

It’s a thumbs up from me too. Useful if the wedding is a distance from you and you’d need to organise travel / accommodation. An email or postcard is fine. Doesn’t have to involve any / much expense.

JackyB Fri 13-Apr-18 07:18:29

I agree - they're a good idea, and you can't ask everyone involved personally what date would suit - so let them know just the date well in advance, taking the stress out of planning the finer details which can then be included in the "official" invitation.

In normal circumstances, however,I would still expect that the closest family have been consulted before picking the date and sending out "Save the Date" notices.

travelsafar Fri 13-Apr-18 07:59:52

i would hate to be planning a wedding thesedays.Ther is so much that is 'expected' to be done. We had friends years ago who married then we all went back to her parents house for a buffet and sing along, great fun. My first marriage was a church one and we used the local school hall for the reception. A buffet done by caterers with a bar and a group who played music. It was so simple to organise compared to all the hassle, expectations and expense now adays.

Auntieflo Fri 13-Apr-18 08:58:04

We had a Save the Date, handmade variety, sent to us when our grandchild was due !

Witzend Fri 13-Apr-18 12:22:43

My dd sent out save the date emails IIRC - a new thing to me at the time - but since it was a summer date and she was inviting a lot of people who were very widely scattered, would often be coming a long way and would need to book accommodation well in advance, it seemed only sensible.
Equally she had attended many friends' weddings far away.

She soon followed up save the date with invitations that included a lot of info on travel and where to stay etc. Evidently appreciated, since the vast majority of the invitees did come. And a very good 'do' it was, too.

stella1949 Fri 13-Apr-18 13:47:58

I like them . My daughter used them, and the stationer included them as an extra item at very little cost. They came with a fridge magnet, and it meant that their friends had several months warning instead of the usual six weeks. It's a " yes" from me.

gummybears Fri 13-Apr-18 14:11:32

I didn't bother since I would have been happy for 80% of the invitees not to turn up. Just as well since thanks to MIL's tantrums, the date was changed twice and the venue once in the six months beforehand...

SueDonim Fri 13-Apr-18 15:02:24

I've remembered, too, that when my Dd sent out save the date cards, we heard back from some that they wouldn't be able to attend and so we were able to invite others who we hadn't previously had room for.

Her husband-to-be, like my dd, is one of four children and he has sixteen aunts and uncles and almost 40 cousins, so spaces were at a premium!