Just need to ramble....

Only one life , yes, and it seems you have lived it the way you wanted to. So, keep on doing just that. Also , as a teacher just think how many lives you have touched and influenced.

I too am looking at 70 soon, can’t kid myself Any longer that i am merely middle aged. Still when/if I get to 80 i will look back at 70 as relatively youthful by comparison. Just as I look at 60 now.
Happy birthday.

Another who will be 70 this year, I’m also filling my head with ‘stuff’ that might never happen. At the moment I’m worrying/wondering if I’ll be able to cope if OHs illness gets worse and how I’ll manage not to be a burden in my later years to my family .
I know it’s rediculous but my head won’t switch it off and now OH has noticed my melancholy mood and he’s worrying that he is wearing me out so I need to ‘snap out of it’ ASAP can’t have him worrying about me worrying?

Oh Tanith I do sympathise. It’d be so useful to have an ‘off’ switch for a bit, wouldn’t it?! I’ve been thinking about care in later years too. I love my MIL, but she is quite a burden to our family now (that’s a horrid thing to say I know, but it can’t be denied) She refuses to go into a care home, but needs an increasing amount of help and support. I worry, as you say, about my being a burden. Husband very much the “make the most of life now” type - which is obviously good; I’m a worrier and over-thinker!

Make the most of every day.
If I had known how my life would change I wouldn't have enjoyed the times I did have.
Worry (or just accept) when it does, time enough then.

I am also knocking on the door of 70 and while I embraced turning 60 with great pleasure, reaching the next decade is a completely different matter. I recognise everything posted above and try to keep things in perspective by telling myself on a regular basis to get a grip. Doesn’t always work, of course.
It is good to talk about theses shared concerns and perhaps keep them from taking any joy from the present moment.
Life, eh ?

My Mum used to say"Never worry worry till worry worries you!" but it's difficult not to isn't it?

I've had many sleepless nights worrying about things that never happen so I try not to think too much about the 'what ifs' now.

Thanks annsixty, jayh and Grannybags. Good advice - and much of the time I can be rational and think (of the past) “Well I did my best” and (of the future) “I will make the most of this decade / be mindful / be grateful” etc And not anticipate problems, and worry. It’s in the middle of the night that doubts and uncertainties trouble me!

I am not, naturally, a worrier, although, obviously, some events or potential events in life have caused me sleepless nights but I am very much with Grannybags mother and I will, with permission, remember her summary as summarising my attitude to.

I am nearly 75. Looking back over life, it has had its successes and failures, I have made mistakes, sometimes been ashamed of my actions, but what can worrying about them now do? If there is something I can do to remedy my wrongs I should do it, but otherwise whats the point of endlessly mentally rehashing them. More productive to try and work out why you have started worrying so fruitlessly about what is long gone.

No-one has a perfect life. Every life is a mix of triumph and disasters, large and small. Accept it.

Good post jayh I agree completely.
The only positive thing to be done at the moment ( growing older I mean) is, if at all possible, moving somewhere that will suit you as you age.A flat, a bungalow etc and in a village with regular buses and anenities and clubs, or a small town.If you leave it too late i.e. ill health, it probably won’t happen.

I'm in the same boat as you Sallyann, married to a busy, successful man. I feel a bit in his shadow. I have interests of my own but don't necessarily have labelled achievements as such and have spent much of my time loving and laughing with family and others and enjoying alone time. When it bothers me, I tell myself that however successful or prominent or competent a person is, in 5 or 10 or more years, they will likely only be remembered by friends and family and being a loving and kind person is the more important than worldly success.

Oh thank you Azie09 - you absolutely hit the spot there. I feel absolutely in husband’s shadow - I’ve even thought what people will say at his - and my - funeral, and how less “successful” I will seem (I know - ?? - I’ll be dead; it won’t matter) I feel I’ve worked hard in my job, tried to do my best with children and grandchildren, but haven’t done interesting or exciting things that they can be proud of. I very much value kindness and loyalty in others, so I know that one can be appreciated for such attributes.

When I was asked to make a short speech at my DGS Naming day this is what I said. I think most of the sentiments apply whatever age you are.
Surely if we are remembered with love and affection by friends and familythen we have had a life well lived.

It is the feeling that the best of our lives is past that gets me . There will be happy times but never again will be young , carefree and full of plans for the future .

The older I've become,seem less able to cope with stress/anxiety etc..get pins&needles hands&feet,neck hurts,tension,tummy ache(a lot cos stress pretty often last few years) when younger I would have shrugged it off,can't now and scared of what effect it will have on me!..oh..am 65

ginny that “speech” is lovely - very pertinent and very true. Thank you x

I think I felt much more stress and anxiety when I was younger. I gained in confidence as I grew older. I certainly relaxed more after I retired. What will be will be. There's not much I can do about it!

Sallyann1 Be proud of EVERYTHING you have done; raising children, working, looking after grandchildren etc. I often feel, I have never actually achieved much in my life too. But fact is I HAVE! I have great children and grandchildren - biggest achievement I ever did was being a good mother!

I will never be on the walk of fame, never be remembered for my paintings, poetry, cooking skills etc but it doesn't matter.

I get these random thoughts that I need to do something...but what? I now find I am content and happy walking my dog more than anything else. I am happy that I can still do that as so many of my friends are not able to get out and about so I am thankful for that.

I have had a very erm colourful life with a lot of different challenges (sometimes when I post I think people must think I am just making it up, cos have been through the mill) Now, I feel content and happy with my lot but I still get panic attacks, thinking I need to be doing something else?

No, I don't........and neither do you. Be happy the way you are. Enjoy your life, your way. x

When friends reunited was a going concern , I looked up a couple of school friends to see what they had done with their lives, well, one had (or said she had)! Was working in New York as a lawyer, the other had travelled the world and now was living in Australia with husband no.2'. I was in my 50's at the time, I hadn't done anything exciting in my life , married an older man at 20, had my first child at 24 followed by 2more 4years later, I remember thinking how boring my life must seem ,and it did unsettle me for a while I will admit, but now I wouldn't swap my life for any of their lives , we celebrate our golden wedding this year with a small party with my wonderful family and gorgeous grandchildren, the grass is never as green as it looks over the garden wall, and I have no regrets, We both have minor health issues but we keep taking the tablets and doing our excercises every morning ,

Firstly, congratulations on your big birthday coming up.
From an outside view- credit for your contribution to education and inspiring lots of children.
Comparing ourselves to others sets us up for disappointment.
I’m so different to my sister who has 2 degrees and now writes as a critic. I’m very proud of her but jealous a little but realise actually I don’t want to do that. I work in a school and local food bank and at the moment quite forfilled. Sometimes I think I should be doing something more exciting or accomplished but at the end of the day- the only opinion is yours. What would you like to do if nothing could stop you? I’d like to travel more.

Do all be happy...Don't have regrets, although I say this with a myriad of them as I am in my mid 60's, with depression and anxiety, my husband abuses me, so I am leaving him finally, having to leave my beloved dogs behind, to live in a womens refuge (if they will take me in the one nearest my daughter.) I have worked all my life since I left school at 16, became a nurse, had a family, bought a home, and I now face my remaining years with nothing.
I am petrified, but I am trying so so hard to carry on and take each day as it comes. My daughter would take me in but she has a 2 bed home with four children, so no room for me sadly.
Hope I haven't bought this post down, not looking for sympathy honestly, just wanted to say that the life some may view as boring or unfulfilled, can often be an absolute Heaven. I would give anything to feel secure in my own home again.
If you want to though you can wish me luck! I have a feeling I might just need it. x Much love and luck for all.

I am 61 and have never felt fitter or freer. I have done nothing special with my life. I taught for 34 years, married (39 years this year) and raised two children. However, I came from a poor, working class family who went through a messy years-long divorce and was dragged around to more schools than there are school years so I consider that I have done moderately well for such difficult beginnings.

My clever, funny, loving son lives at home still and is very happy to be here with his father and I and my lovely daughter phones me every day sometimes several times. I feel blessed. I am a bookworm and can indulge myself with a book every two days and I walk, cook and look after my beloved house and pretty garden. It's all very humble stuff but the stuff of dreams really.

Many of us worry don't we? At bad moments I look back and wonder why I said that, did this, went there. I can't be the only one who wishes for a magic wand to erase all the bad stuff.
We have to try and accept ourselves and others as they are but it can be difficult. I find that the words of 'Desiderata' can be an inspiration.

Live in the moment, it is the only time we really have.
Be kind to yourself and kind to others.
People won't necessarily remember what you said but they will remember how you made them feel.
At 70 people are not impressed by other people's academic achievements, just whether they are nice, good, decent people.
Treat family and friends with respect, remember to say thank-you.
What goes around comes around.
This is all simple, obvious stuff but it oils the wheels of society, community, family and friendship. It certainly works for me.
Remember, you are good enough, you don't have to impress anyone. Just be the best version of who you are and always be kind. What you give out you get back.