Weddings not like they used to be?

My DD’s friends had fancy tiered cake stands ( borrowed or bought cheaply in charity shops) as centre pieces full of old “tat” jewellery ( beads, brooches etc) and a few fresh flowers scattered between . Likewise all odd China cups and saucers . It looked beautiful and cosy almost nothing .

I yearn for the past remembering not just my own but friends weddings. Living together possibly having kids before getting wed never came into it for us. I know this is the norm these days and when they do wed is frequently quite'something' Then a honeymoon?That has to be a joke. Surely discovering the intimacies of the union are long gone .Callme cynical / out of touch but I know which way I prefer.

When we got married in 1976 my parents paid for the wedding venue and car to take me to church and my husband paid all church fees. Wedding cake and all food at the reception was made by my mum,who made wedding and birthday cakes for everyone,and my mother in law made my dress the bridesmaids dresses and the 2 pageboy outfits....we didn’t have a wedding gift list,I don’t think that sort of thing existed then?,so ended up with 14 egg cups,6 toast racks(never used a toast rack in my life,and lots of towels ??.

It all seems ridiculously over the top to me. A simple wedding, as others have said here, can be really lovely.

It still all adds up though even for a simple affair .

How things have changed! It all seems a bit distorted now and almost like a competition to have the most inventive wedding. In the efforts to do so, it all seems a bit tacky. Personally I didn't want a fancy wedding and I certainly didn't get one! We were married in the village church, walked to a local pub (old, mellow and lovely) and had our reception in the function room. The tables were laid out with buffet-type food and hot soup (it was winter) and a huge fire blazing in the grate. It all felt and still feels very wholesome without the need for anything else.

One of the nicest weddings I have ever attended was done on a shoestring budget.

The bride's family rallied round to provide a wonderful DIY wedding. They had a lovely old venue to tie the knot and then went back to the local WMC for the reception. Family had been busy tieing bows on all the chairs, covering all the tables in linen-look paper tablecloths. On each table was a jam jar full of the most beautiful flowers from family's various gardens. Each jam jar was wound with tiny fairy lights and a ribbon. Helium balloons decked the ceiling...all tied in bunches, and we walked through the most glorious arch to enter the 'function room' lavishly decorated with artificial flowers and lights..to a table with an array of coloured glasses holding Prosecco, Bucks Fizz or soft drinks and little canapes all prepared by family and friends. We sat down to a 'funny' quiz - the groom was question master, while we enjoyed drinks and nibbles and a friend arranged for soft romantic melodies to be played via the speaker system. Then the speeches were made....so glasses were filled with Prosecco. The bride spoke too, and the home made cake was cut. Later that afternoon the local chippy delivered boxes of fish and chips for all and bread and butter and tea was made on site by the club managers. Afterwards a group of the brides friends organised games for the little ones present and a friend of the groom provided the disco and the fairy lights that adorned the room glowed as it got dark.

It was so lovely. I thought I'd be picking holes in a DIY wedding but it was one of the nicest, most relaxed and enjoyable events I have ever attended. I too think modern weddings are about one up-man-ship and showing off.

It can be done on the cheap if everyone pulls together, and in many ways, that in itself makes it a lovely, family occasion.

Bribe all your daughters never to marry!!! I tried it ...she ignored me.... two kids and ten years later my beautiful...extroidinarily intelligent girl knows what I tried to tell her. She has her beautiful children .... and a husband who has a new love! LOVE!! Men don’t know the meaning!

My DiL’s brother got married on a beach in the Caribbean. She and my son couldn’t afford to go, in fact most relatives couldn’t afford it, so it was just both sets of parents and the brides two sisters.

The bride must have weighed 18 stone the groom about the same. Her wedding dress was like a huge meringue and he was in full tuxedo. In the photos they are both red in the face and sweating profusely. Apparently she couldn’t walk in the sand in her stilettos and the groom and her father tried to give her a chair lift onto the beach.

It might have sounded romantic when they were planning it but in reality it was anything but and cost a fortune.

Saggi been there ,my lovely daughter was married 9 years when she discovered her OH had slept with almost all the single women she knew..and a couple of married ones.Including her best friend.She had two small children and she was devastated.Within 18 months she met someone else and got pregnant ..I wasn't best pleased at the speed but as she had needed fertility treament for the eldest two we were happy for her .Been happily married for 8 years now .Ex OH and her have managed to keep it friendly for the sake of the kids .I'm very proud of her for that .

My husband and I turned up for our wedding the night before. My parents had arranged everything including my dress (I'd chosen a few weeks earlier) I had a takeaway with female family and friends he went out for a pint or two with the men.
We married at 11 am in a registry office and back to a hotel for the wedding breakfast and photos. We returned to Mum and Dads for tea and we left about 6 pm for London. Simples! We loved it and no stress at all - can't speak for Mum and Dad though!!

My wedding in 1968 was stress-free. We sauntered up the hill to the register office, where we met immediate family and a very few selected friends. Got married. In the evening we all had dinner at a good hotel. Apart from the fact that we wore particularly nice clothes there was no formality about it at all.

I can’t believe what some people put themselves through, not to mention the huge amount of money spent on one showbizzy day, usually by couples who can barely afford somewhere to live.

Even when we were young a big wedding was expensive, but they do seem to have become very much dearer these days.

I married late, but those of my friends who married in the 1970s when my age group were "expected" to marry certainly didn't spend an amount of money that could have been used for a down payment on a house or flat for their wedding, or borrow money in order to hold a large reception.

However, no doubt times will change again, and these big Hollywood inspired weddings will go out of fashion again some day.

It's so OTT now isn't it? Keeping up with the Joneses. I expect that people treat themselves to this, that and the other simply because they can afford to - or can they?
It's just one day. It doesn't matter if you spend £100 or £10,000 - at the end of the day you're still married, for good or ill. The best wedding I went to recently was organised by the bride herself - it was simple and lovely. Not too poncy at all. The happy couple are very well suited and that's what really matters.

Until I retired I was a Registrar and was lucky enough not only to work in the Register Office but the majority of times at Outside Venues in wonderful venues. My favourite wedding of them all was in the Office with just the couple and two witnesses. Their love for each other just shone through.

My son had the right idea - he bought an elopement package. (No, I didn’t know you could get them either!). His bride, my lovely DiL, is Latvian and her family could not afford to come over here. They didn’t want to get married in Latvia because they knew that our side of the family wouldn’t be able to attend there. So they eloped to Snowdonia. The package included the marriage service in the hotel, a two night stay and breakfast and evening meal. My DiL bought a lovely, simple, long white dress for £5 from EBay and my son wore a suit. We were told when they came home and thought it the best and most sensible solution.

I think his elopement package cost in the region of £500.

My hen night was my best friend coming round for a cup of tea the night before the wedding. My wedding dress was a lovely hippy peasanty one that cost £7 from Bus Stop. The reception was lunch at an Italian restaurant and a friend lent us his car!

I didn't have hen night (did they exist in the 1960s?) and DH did not have a stag do. Come to that neither did DS or DDiL. I have seen hen and stag groups wandering around York and other towns and cities, but I do not know anyone who has had one.

My neighbours D's wedding cost £30,000 They asked for £10,,000 from each set of parents and paid £10,000 themselves, my mind boggled. At least it is lasting and they now have a baby which granny is looking after.
My own wedding almost 60 years ago ( August 1958 ) probably cost under £200 and most of the guests were family and family friends, it was lovely.

I'm going to a wedding in May; an old school friend of my son's. I was pleased to see the happy couple just want money as a wedding present. Saves me having to drag round the shops spending too much money on something they don't want! So practical.

When I got married the first time my parents paid for the entire day and I was very conscious of the cost so chose cheaper options for a dress and I remember being very nervous and wondering if that was normal or not. It was in a church with 70 guests many of whom were my large family and parents friends. We had about 8/10 of our own friends and more invited to evening reception which was more friends and elderly family came for first hour or so and then left. When I married for second time we paid for our wedding ourselves and therefore felt we could have exactly what we wanted. I went all out to enjoy the day. I had a horse drawn carriage and fabulous dress I went with my future MiL to choose with a long train, we married in a castle then bussed all guests to a medieval banqueting hall 12 miles away. We had 90 guests about half family and half friends. We still get a lot of pleasure from looking through our wedding album and have several large photo on the lounge wall. We did a booze trip to France about a month before wedding day and bought the champagne and wine and got Italian ice cream and Tiramisu from our favourite Italian restaurant. We had evening reception at same venue adding another 40 friends and colleagues. I felt confident and not nervous at all. By the time I married for second time both my new husband and I already had a house each and we had more disposable income and I just knew it would be forever.

We dread being sent a wedding invitation, not only the cost, as another poster says,dress, travel and hotel etc but just all the standing around involved and then being seated with ‘boring old farts’ ( DH’s words) that we have never seen before and will never see again with a bit of luck.
Two very expensive weddings we went to barely lasted six months.

What next I wonder...lavish funerals?