Weddings not like they used to be?

Yes, paddyann, sadly the law is different in England CofE & Catholics can only do it on their own premises, Reform and Liberal Jews can do it anywhere, as can Quakers but they chose just do it in their Meeting Houses. Moslem, Hindu and Humanist ceremonies don't have legal status - people who I marry generally do the quickest and cheapest register office ceremony that they can, and then I do the "real" wedding, in front of their family and friends in a place which is meaningful to them. There is an ongoing campaign to try and get Humanist weddings legal status, like they have in Scotland, Jersey and the Republic of Ireland.

I married DH 36 years ago. We had a double wedding with my now sister and brother in law. None of us had much money so spent very little on the wedding, by today's standards. We had a Catholic ceremony and hired the church hall. My grandmother made the cakes, a friend of my brother took the photos, friends of the family did the catering and a friend of DH was the DJ. I never felt stressed, our day was relaxed and everyone had a great time.

our local minister has done weddings on boats and in a seaplane , on mountain tops and by hospital beds gardens and beaches are an everyday thing in this part of the world .Not so long ago he was so popular he used to have 5 weddings on a Saturday some in his church,others in local hotels and castles .Of course i think the law is different in England ,here a minister can perform ceremonies anywhere

The one thing hardly anyone's mentioned is the ceremony itself. I'm a humanist celebrant and I get quite upset when people are prepared to spend money on almost any aspect of the wedding apart from the ceremony itself! however, the advantage of using a humanist celebrant is that you can do it ANYWHERE, and save all that money that's charged by flashy registered venues. I've done weddings on beaches, in gardens, and even at a music festival. Be inventive, be personal, tailor it for YOU is the advice I'd give my daughter

My DSs wedding was quite wonderful. The bride was finally ready in the very nick of time, one of the bridesmaids refused to wear her pretty shoes and walked down the aisle in her trainers, the buttonholes had been ordered but not collected. After the ceremony the groom's brother played his guitar and we all sat on the floor and sang. A very happy occasion and probably cost less than £500 all told!

My first wedding in 1970 was fairly traditional but didn't cost much because of lack of money. My wedding 9 years ago to my lovely 2nd DH was low-key but in a pretty room in our local register office, and the numbers were restricted to 40 by the reception venue which was quite small, an old olde-worlde local pub where we had champagne in the garden followed by an afternoon-tea style meal. Got our wedding cake from Waitrose (a big square chocolate sponge thingy) which was served with strawberries and cups of tea, everything over by 5 pm. Our first dinner at home together as a married couple was boiled eggs and soldiers ....

Well, you can have doves released, and so on.
There are also custom made coffins too.
I saw one in the shape of a Mr Kiplings cake box.

Day6 that wedding sounded really good fun!

What next I wonder...lavish funerals?

We dread being sent a wedding invitation, not only the cost, as another poster says,dress, travel and hotel etc but just all the standing around involved and then being seated with ‘boring old farts’ ( DH’s words) that we have never seen before and will never see again with a bit of luck.
Two very expensive weddings we went to barely lasted six months.

When I got married the first time my parents paid for the entire day and I was very conscious of the cost so chose cheaper options for a dress and I remember being very nervous and wondering if that was normal or not. It was in a church with 70 guests many of whom were my large family and parents friends. We had about 8/10 of our own friends and more invited to evening reception which was more friends and elderly family came for first hour or so and then left. When I married for second time we paid for our wedding ourselves and therefore felt we could have exactly what we wanted. I went all out to enjoy the day. I had a horse drawn carriage and fabulous dress I went with my future MiL to choose with a long train, we married in a castle then bussed all guests to a medieval banqueting hall 12 miles away. We had 90 guests about half family and half friends. We still get a lot of pleasure from looking through our wedding album and have several large photo on the lounge wall. We did a booze trip to France about a month before wedding day and bought the champagne and wine and got Italian ice cream and Tiramisu from our favourite Italian restaurant. We had evening reception at same venue adding another 40 friends and colleagues. I felt confident and not nervous at all. By the time I married for second time both my new husband and I already had a house each and we had more disposable income and I just knew it would be forever.

I'm going to a wedding in May; an old school friend of my son's. I was pleased to see the happy couple just want money as a wedding present. Saves me having to drag round the shops spending too much money on something they don't want! So practical.

My neighbours D's wedding cost £30,000 They asked for £10,,000 from each set of parents and paid £10,000 themselves, my mind boggled. At least it is lasting and they now have a baby which granny is looking after.
My own wedding almost 60 years ago ( August 1958 ) probably cost under £200 and most of the guests were family and family friends, it was lovely.

I didn't have hen night (did they exist in the 1960s?) and DH did not have a stag do. Come to that neither did DS or DDiL. I have seen hen and stag groups wandering around York and other towns and cities, but I do not know anyone who has had one.

My hen night was my best friend coming round for a cup of tea the night before the wedding. My wedding dress was a lovely hippy peasanty one that cost £7 from Bus Stop. The reception was lunch at an Italian restaurant and a friend lent us his car!

I think his elopement package cost in the region of £500.

My son had the right idea - he bought an elopement package. (No, I didn’t know you could get them either!). His bride, my lovely DiL, is Latvian and her family could not afford to come over here. They didn’t want to get married in Latvia because they knew that our side of the family wouldn’t be able to attend there. So they eloped to Snowdonia. The package included the marriage service in the hotel, a two night stay and breakfast and evening meal. My DiL bought a lovely, simple, long white dress for £5 from EBay and my son wore a suit. We were told when they came home and thought it the best and most sensible solution.

Until I retired I was a Registrar and was lucky enough not only to work in the Register Office but the majority of times at Outside Venues in wonderful venues. My favourite wedding of them all was in the Office with just the couple and two witnesses. Their love for each other just shone through.

It's so OTT now isn't it? Keeping up with the Joneses. I expect that people treat themselves to this, that and the other simply because they can afford to - or can they?
It's just one day. It doesn't matter if you spend £100 or £10,000 - at the end of the day you're still married, for good or ill. The best wedding I went to recently was organised by the bride herself - it was simple and lovely. Not too poncy at all. The happy couple are very well suited and that's what really matters.

Even when we were young a big wedding was expensive, but they do seem to have become very much dearer these days.

I married late, but those of my friends who married in the 1970s when my age group were "expected" to marry certainly didn't spend an amount of money that could have been used for a down payment on a house or flat for their wedding, or borrow money in order to hold a large reception.

However, no doubt times will change again, and these big Hollywood inspired weddings will go out of fashion again some day.

My wedding in 1968 was stress-free. We sauntered up the hill to the register office, where we met immediate family and a very few selected friends. Got married. In the evening we all had dinner at a good hotel. Apart from the fact that we wore particularly nice clothes there was no formality about it at all.

I can’t believe what some people put themselves through, not to mention the huge amount of money spent on one showbizzy day, usually by couples who can barely afford somewhere to live.

My husband and I turned up for our wedding the night before. My parents had arranged everything including my dress (I'd chosen a few weeks earlier) I had a takeaway with female family and friends he went out for a pint or two with the men.
We married at 11 am in a registry office and back to a hotel for the wedding breakfast and photos. We returned to Mum and Dads for tea and we left about 6 pm for London. Simples! We loved it and no stress at all - can't speak for Mum and Dad though!!

Saggi been there ,my lovely daughter was married 9 years when she discovered her OH had slept with almost all the single women she knew..and a couple of married ones.Including her best friend.She had two small children and she was devastated.Within 18 months she met someone else and got pregnant ..I wasn't best pleased at the speed but as she had needed fertility treament for the eldest two we were happy for her .Been happily married for 8 years now .Ex OH and her have managed to keep it friendly for the sake of the kids .I'm very proud of her for that .

My DiL’s brother got married on a beach in the Caribbean. She and my son couldn’t afford to go, in fact most relatives couldn’t afford it, so it was just both sets of parents and the brides two sisters.

The bride must have weighed 18 stone the groom about the same. Her wedding dress was like a huge meringue and he was in full tuxedo. In the photos they are both red in the face and sweating profusely. Apparently she couldn’t walk in the sand in her stilettos and the groom and her father tried to give her a chair lift onto the beach.

It might have sounded romantic when they were planning it but in reality it was anything but and cost a fortune.

Bribe all your daughters never to marry!!! I tried it ...she ignored me.... two kids and ten years later my beautiful...extroidinarily intelligent girl knows what I tried to tell her. She has her beautiful children .... and a husband who has a new love! LOVE!! Men don’t know the meaning!