Future proof your home? Or is it too depressing?

When I say 'estranged' I must say that I went to my mums every day for the almost three years that I looked after her.
Emotionally estranged, I suppose would be a better way of putting it.
She was bitter and angry, and so, so worn out, physically, and I was just a beaten down wreck!

We have no downstairs loo and no room for one. Just over 3 weeks ago I had my knee replaced and after two nights in hospital came home. Right from the start I have used the stairs, with a little help from Tena lady in case I was to slow! But it did get me thinking how I would manage on my own, should we move now or wait. Decided in the end if on my own would book myself into some Care place for a couple of weeks. In the meanwhile I have booked us into Spa break for a couple of days as we both deserve some pampering.

My dad also refused to put in shower or fix things. When he fell I took the opportunity to renovate but he never came home. I now live in the house and the only thing I will not be able to cope with is the big garden.

I am in a bungalow and I do notice the loss of fitness without stairs. I'm going to vary my walks to include some hills and sets of steps to see if that helps.

Yes I think stairs keep you fit and we also live halfway up a massive hill which I walk to go to the shops. If I don’t feel like walking then Icatch the bus up the hill. I don’t think I would really want to move, could always get a lift or a chair thing for the stairs.

What I have never understood, or at least since I was doing my best to care for my ageing father in his tall, narrow house with vertiginous stairs, is why modern builds aren't more 'user friendly' to start with. Why not have all new builds with wider doorways, a wet room (needn't be huge, just big enough for a wheelchair, helper etc.), properly organised kitchens, lever taps, flexible living accommodation? None of us knows when we may be less-able, even if only for a short time such as a broken foot/leg bone etc. It's a comment our seriously bad housing in the UK that we get in this situation in the first place. For myself (aged 63), I intend to find my 'forever' home within a couple of years, future-proof it as far as possible & as soon as possible, then go off travelling spending the kids' inheritance.

Missadventure, you raise a good point in how often this impacts on other people around us and not just the homeowner themselves. We aren't islands. We need to consider others who come to help. And do it earlier rather than later.

But marydoll I did explicitly exclude people in your situation.

The figures you quote, Lazidoll, are, as you say averages. and I do wonder what the definition of good health is. DH has high blood pressure and diabetes so mild he does not need medication. Neither of these medical problems cause him any problems or restrict his life. Does he qualify as being in good health or bad?

I believe in planning for the worst and hoping for the best and that is exactly what I am doing. The contingency plans are there, meanwhile I will continue to live in my large very old house with its large garden and indulging in all my hobbies and interests, which include caring for historic buildings and growing vegetables!

You are right Amma54. I completely understand what Miss A is saying about emotional strain, and I would hate my children to feel the same about me, so will do all I can to try and pre empt any problems. Not always possible I know, but that's what is motivating me.

I think the point somebody made upthread about future proofing being a way of ensuring you can carry on enjoying your hobbies and activities is a valid one.

I dread being unable to garden and I'm aware of my limitations so having a small, easy to manage home means that I spend very little time on cleaning and maintenance. I loathe housework anyway.

Having to take care of a large house (and we've lived in plenty of them) would depress me.

Yes you do raise an interesting point about what is considered "good health" MOnica. I would think it is anything that restricts a person's life and involves medical intervention but I don't know. We live in a modern house and as far as I know (this to Amma) new builds have to conform to certain regs, such as wider doorways to facilitate wheelchairs.

I suppose mobility is the factor to consider, if possible.

Amma54, I think new builds have to have wider doorways now, downstairs at least and the downstairs toilet has to be big enough to accommodate a wheelchair. Thus in my new little terraced house I have a big toilet by the front door which with a bit of fiddling about now houses my washing machine and tumble dryer as well.

I was really cross about how much room it took up to begin with but the builders said they had to make it that big because of disabled legislation.

The thing is, I love my house and we have room for all the children and grandchildren when they come and room for some of them to stay if they want to.

We, purposefully, only have a small garden but the house is largish. We have a cleaner and we manage the garden ourselves with help a couple of times a year for the heavy stuff.
We love this house, the village and the houses position in the village so have no urge to move to a compromise.

I would not like to be facing older age in our previous house which had 3 storeys, 6 bedrooms and a huge garden.

Monica, what I was trying to say (probably badly), was that I was forced into early retirement very quickly, (I was not of retirement age) with no time to prepare for it, nor adapt my home.
I had no intention of retiring for years and saw myself as reasonably healthy and having plenty of time to make any changes to my house if necessary and also have an active retirement.
I never considered I would be going into retirement with ill health. You never know what life will throw at you.
Also, I wish I had thought about the future, made the changes when I was still working and financially secure.
What I'm trying to stress is, "Don't leave it too late." Oopsadaisy got it right, by saying look at it as an insurance policy. You have it just in case you need it, but you hope you will never need it. CARPE DIEM.

Marydoll - like you, I'd been (reasonably) fit but was forced to take early retirement because of heath issues. That, along with the fact we learned a lot from caring for elderly parents and supporting friends doing the same, meant we future proofed our house a few years ago. Our failure to find the perfect bungalow meant we reconsidered our family home. We have a library (still), good supermarket, health centre and bus route so once we'd put in a downstairs bathroom the incentive to move was much diminished.
The fact we still have room to accommodate our adult children and grandchildren when the need arises, or we're getting together for a family party is a bonus.

I have planned ahead so everything is to hand should either my husband or myself need aids. I already have a commode and a zimmer frame/walker (!)...bought the zimmer in a charity shop, it was brand new unopened...£10!! A bargain! I know my family laugh at me, but I like to be organised. I saw a bed table yesterday, again in excellent condition in a charity shop, £8...I' thinking about it and will probably buy it. The downstairs dining room has large french windows and will become a bedroom if necessary. Stairlift on the stairs. I'm ready!

I will go kicking and screaming g but I'm NOT having red alarm pulls, bath handles, raised toilet seats et al.
At present, my ex and I jointly own the marital home which has been let out for 6 years to the same family. I keep the income and use part of it to rent a smaller house which is near to many of my friends.
Neither of us are in a hurry to sell but there will be enough in the 50/50 split for me to fund a period property or have something built, preferably with great views and with a good garden for me to have veg and fruit plus a place for my swing.
I got it as a present 3 years ago, hand made and it's a beauty. Nothing better than a swing for giving you a peaceful feeling.
My present rental property has a curly staircase and no rails which isn't a problem as I walk barefoot around the house and the bath has a power shower over it which is fine as I rarely soak in a bath but who knows what the future holds? I would cross that bridge when I come to it. My ex is very helpful and generous so I'm not worrying.

Barmeyoldbat
The spa break sounds just the ticket.
We should take our pleasures where we can...finances allowing, naturally

Plenty of responses to this subject. We had our bathroom refurbished a few years ago, in our early 60s. I asked for a bath/shower grabrail to be fitted. It has been invaluable.

Don't delay! We spoke about it often, but shelved it, then revisited the idea a number of times. We finally did it - moved to a new build bungalow fifteen months ago. It has wide hall and doors and ramp, and a large walk in shower. In some ways, we did it just in time, as the physical symptoms of his PD have worsened since, but sadly he has developed dementia, and has not really gained any pleasure from the move. We are nearer family and friends, but aren't able to get out and about as much as we'd hoped. The upside is that we have had unexpectedly good support from medical and social care services in our area, and people do visit, but I wish we had done it earlier.

Much though I don't like the aids such as raised toilet seats etc, when frailty strikes, they can be necessary. While we are feeling hale and hearty, we tend to see ourselves as carrying on in the same way long term, but changes to our physical and mental state can descend on us at any time. With some conditions, you get time to prepare, but situations like strokes or accidents can come out of the blue. Think wills, powers of attorney and protecting property and assets as well as future proofing your home sooner rather than later.

We changed our downstairs bathroom into a shower room last year and had rails put either side of the back steps. Makes sense to think ahead in my opinion.

I have no downstairs loo, but when I had my hip replaced, I found the stairs were excellent rehab exercise. Now I have dodgy knees and I'm not so sure! In a terraced house, the stairs are narrow and a stair lift might be out of the question.
I am planning to have a walk-in shower as I might not always be able to climb into the bath either to bathe or shower, and when I have the bathroom re-vamped, I'll try to get grab rails and a higher WC.

Annodomini - my house sounds similar to yours, terraced with a steep staircase. If you had a Stannah rep. to advise you, you may find that you can have one fitted. ( Other makes are available ). We thought the same as you, that there wouldn't be enough room, but surprisingly, we did have the space and head height , so a Stannah lift was fitted and it was a boon for my late DH. Through my husband's GP, the hospital OT arranged for the Stannah lift rep.to give us a free assessment of the suitability of our property for a lift to be fitted. I'm afraid I can't remember how much the chair lift and the fitting cost as it was about ten years ago, but it was worth every penny. I had an arthroscopy on my knee at the beginning of December and I've been using all it the time and shall continue to do so until my knee is strong enough to let me use the stairs again. I've started the Swedish Death De - cluttering too, for when we have to downsize. Now, it's just me in a four bedromed house with a huge loft and garage stuffed full of DIY tools, power tools and gardenibg paraphernalia. Like everyone else here, I don't want to leave my daughter with the nightmare of having to clear all our ' stuff ' when I die. Both my DH and myself were/are - ' better keep this in case it comes in useful ' types, oh dear ! And I've still got six unopened tea - chests in the loft from when we moved here seventeen years ago ! Good luck everyone, it is daunting though.