Just back from humanist funeral

You don’t have to use a celebrant to conduct the funeral service. It can be all done by family and friends.
In our immediate family we have had two absolutely lovely, uplifting funerals with only family and friends running it. One was a woodland burial where we had children running round and a couple of dogs, music, refreshments etc. When the wicker coffin was carried in, we decorated it with flowers all round, children put messages and pictures on top. It was absolutely personal.
The other was in a crematorium chapel. A grandchild acted as informal celebrant, the great grandchildren attached painted wooden bees to the coffin (he had been a beekeeper). Again a delightful funeral.
I have hated formal, impersonal religious funerals in the past with hellfire sermons.

I have never found a Christian funeral service to be impersonal and never a hell fire sermon, hell fire sermons went out many years ago.

I went to a hellfire Catholic funeral service only a few years ago Annie. Grim.
I agree most church funeral services have become more personal nowadays.

A very scary Wee Free Minister glowered at the congregation and warned them, "you're all sinners and when you're deed ye'll burn in Hell tormented forever by the Devil, and ye'll all look up to the Lord and say " we didna ken, we didna ken" and the Good Lord, in his infinite mercy, will look doon on ye and he'll say "Well ye ken the noo!!!"

Sorry if that offends any Wee Free GNetters. It's probably appochryphal.

I attended my first humanist funeral this week and it was so different. We were told stories of the ladies past which made me chuckle,and instead of crying I sat there smiling as it brought back a lot memories of the things she had done over the years,the music were her favourites,people were not struggling to sing hymns that were unfamiliar to them if they did not attend church.I would definately choose one like this.

I'm Catholic and most of the funerals I have been to have been Catholic. I find the ritual comforting and the hymns I've known since child are moving. I've only been to one humanist funeral and to be honest it was very bland and rather disorganised. The part that was most appropriate and moving was a speech a friend of the deceased. It was funny and sad and just right.

I have just been to a funeral of a friend who died from cancer in her 50's. She choose the hymns and readings herself. Two of her children spoke. It was sad to lose a lovely friend but her funeral was perfect. She was a committed Christian.
I have been to one humanist funeral but it seemed to lack something important for me , that is, God!

I am a Christian and have attended various funerals of different religions and humanist services over the years. I went to a humanist funeral on Friday which was a celebration of a young man's life. He had written most of the service. All fine by me, whatever the deceased and family want. However at the first humanist service I attended 12 years ago I was not happy when the celebrant said "that the time had come to pause and reflect and those of you that have a religious faith may like to take the time to pray". I didn't tell her that I would pray whenever I liked without her patronising instruction.

I have a friend who is going to a type of humanist wedding. It is taking place in a wood, with guests invited to wear casual warm clothing and after the ceremony there will a reception. All very ecologically sound etc. Hope it doesn’t rain!!

Her dad got buried in a wood near here. They did it themselves with no ceremony but simply happy thoughts and words, flowers from the garden and a picnic.

Sermons are not given in Anglican Church funerals

Sorry to disagree Annie, but I sat through several C of E funerals in the village where I used to live and the Vicar always used them as an opportunity to deliver a sermon.
Maybe every Vicar is allowed to do his own thing?

I suppose what I consider words of comfort taken from one of many texts such as 'today you shall be with me in paradise". is considered a sermon by some, not by me .

I personally think that all funerals should be all about celebrating that persons life. Celebrating who they were as a person, how they chose to live their lives, sharing wonderful memories etc. I am an atheist but feel that religion should only be a very small part a funeral service, as those that believe in God, celebrate him most days of their life anyway.

No, honestly. It was always a full blown sermon. Usually 20 to 30 minutes and nothing to do with the deceased.
I was a church goer for many years so I do recognise a sermon when I hear one. And a gallop through the formal service.
When he left the new vicar was much more focused on the funeral itself much to everyone's relief.

I wonder,I if you are a believer attending a humanist funerak, and you know that the dear departed was not a believer, do you speculate about whether you will meet them again in the afterlife?

The vicar at my daughters funeral sang along to the Bob Marley song, "one love" and bobbed around to it.. it was lovely.

How can faith be only a small part of a church funeral ?

I don't Varian

After attending the funerals of my mother and then my father I decided to plan my own. Neither of them caught any sort of essence of my parents. They got information wrong and it felt very rushed and impersonal. I just have to find a celebrant I am happy with - not so easy to plan when there is no set date ;)

When my Mum died the vicar (who did not know her at all as he was standing in) mentioned several times her 4 children. I am an only child although her 2nd husband did have 4 children by his first marriage.
I'm afraid I berated him at the church door on the way out as I was so upset by it.

We are becoming a more secular society. I think faith, if you have it, must be a huge comfort. For the majority of us, a humanist funeral is very personal and the mourners seem less fearful of the prayers and hymns that they probably haven’t been exposed to since the last funeral. As an aside, I’m a great believer (no pun intended) in keeping all religion(s) out of all schools. Education for children in school, faith at the weekends with family (if desired).

We had a civil celebrant for my husband’s funeral who was excellent. We had him instead of a humanist one as we wanted to play Nunc Dimittis and the undertakers said a humanist celebrant may not allow it.

I think it depends on who takes the service be it Christian or Humanist or whatever. I’m Catholic and have been to many Christian funerals but only one Humanist. The most important thing, I think, is that the service is a comfort to the family.
Could I ask a question about Humanist ceremonies please. Will a Humanist celebrant be happy to conduct a service for anybody or do they have to have a connection with the Humanist movement?

I think they will conduct the ceremony for anyone who chooses.