My boy has flown

I know exactly how you feel as my daughter did the same a few years ago. She was gone for almost two years and went on her own. I cried all the way home from the airport and even now can still see her disappearing up the stairs at Heathrow. I still cry when I think of that rainy November day. However, once I knew she’d got there okay I felt a bit better and we had weekly phone chats. We could text just the same as if she was in London. She DID come back too! The time soon went and although it took her a bit of time to settle back home, I believe it really did her good. It helped her become more self sufficient and to grow up. Don’t worry; he’ll be fine and you’ll adjust after a short time. Good luck to you both.

I do feel for you. Its hard. You know its right for them to go and for you to encourage them in the great adventure, but that doesnt stop you being sad you are not going to see them all the time. Its amazing how 'kids' turn into great friends and company just at the point they are leaving! My son has been in the States ten years and its clear he isnt going to return any time soon - right or wrong I miss him like mad. The only plus is that when we visit its as if he had only walked out of the door ten minutes ago, and he is very happy doing a job he loves.

Poor you. If my son decided to move a long way away I would be heartbroken, but I would fully support his choice. My son was due to go to University in a town only 20 mins away. DH and i had been shopping there and drove past the flat he was due to move in to. I cried all the way home. We are a soppy lot! At least there is Skype now. Not quite a hug, but will help. And I am sure being away will make him realise how much he appreciates you.

My daughter went for a holiday, loved it, then met, married and had a baby, they all moved to Oz ( I thought I would die of a broken heart, but made the best of it, kept reminding myself of people whose adult children live in the next town who don't see parents apart from Christmas and Birthdays)
I told them how proud I was of them following there dream.
We Skyped telephoned and text regularly but it was like winning the lottery when after 3.5 years they returned home.
You will cope, because you have to x remind yourself what a fabulous job you have done as he has the guts to leave but find a friend that you can cry with as you will miss him
With hugs xx

He’s not a boy he’s a man which is why he had to go.

minxie Congratulate yourself in raising a self confident boy who feels he can travel far from home and manage his life on his own its a job well done by you,
Two years will soon pass,try and fit in a visit during this time I'm sure you will love it,as he certainly will.

I remember my only child going to Uni and was talking to a colleague about feeling bereft. He said he'd be thrilled if his child could leave home,as his child had special needs and would always be at home. It pulled me up short. We want them to lead independent happy lives.I do still understand what you feel and not decrying it, it just gave me another perspective.....

Oh my days. My baby (aged 25) left home last year to go and live and work in London. It's 35 miles away, but I was in bits then, and I still get tearful after he goes back after a weekend visit.

I'm not surprised that you got upset when your baby left to go to the other side of the world. As has been said, Skype is marvellous, and hopefully you will get a chance to visit.

Yes I feel for you too. I just said goodbye for the second time 2 weeks ago to my son who at 39 moved to NZ 4.5 years ago with his NZ wife. They returned for 6 weeks this time with two children in tow so saying goodbye was even harder. I don't know if they're settled there - they both miss the UK and he's just texted today to say he's finding it hard to get back to a routine but life is so much better for the children that I feel they have to prioritise them first which I know they will. Being a parent is hard most of the time!

When the birds flew the nest, I still had a good job, was doing an OU French course and had an interesting role in local politics. As my OH had, a few years previously, also decamped, I was free to choose my own holidays and enjoyed many Ramblers' holidays. So my advice is that if your offspring are off to a new life, help yourself to something fulfilling. It's your life too and, anyway, sooner or later, your role may well change again to that of a grandparent!

My eldest daughter married an Aussie and lives in Melbourne with 2 kids. My partner has a daughter who married an Aussie and lives in Sydney with 2 kids. We are lucky enough to be able to visit them every 2 years and had a wonderful 6 week trip recently. My other 3 daughters are in the uk although not near us. I lost my only son at 3 years old and am thankful his sisters are healthy and happy and making lives and families of their own. I love my life and make the most of it. Whatsapp is great and communication is so much better now than years ago when it was a letter or expensive phone call. Take this opportunity to put yourself first and explore new ideas. Don’t let him know how upset you are but give him your blessing

I see you say he is going for 2 years so if this is a work contract he could well be back. It is hard but we just have to make the best of it there is no other way

My DS came to Australia for a holiday over 20 years ago, met a Aussie girl, married her and stayed there...me and DH visited them every couple of years when we were both still working, and then we retired here in 2006. The good news is that my 2 DDs and my grandchildren emigrated here too, so now we are all living in this beautiful country.

I am going to sound harsh however I am going to say it anyway! I have a dear friend who lost her daughter in an horrific way when she was 2. Some children dont grow up. Be grateful he has else all you would have is a grave to visit and memories.

I do identify though cos it's hard. I have 4 youngsters. 2 live local and 2 live abroad. 1 in Canada and 1 in N-Z.

People have asked me how I cope as they couldn't? I am like "eh! Our children are through us not of us"

In this day an age it's not as if you won't see them again. Skype, email, FaceTime, what's app, text. Cost of flights now return are so cheap. We can go out to my dauggter in Canada for £700 return for 2 of us and a £1000 return to N.Z for 2 of us too. Cost weekly £35-00 per week if you work it out.

Just giving some balance to your feelings so you can explore the perceptions

Mine has just come back aged 40 with his new wife. I find it really strange to have him calling round and phoning after being on my own so long.

I would feel very, very sad too.

But seeing our children grow up and, most importantly, be happy, healthy and fulfilled in their lives, is probably what we all aspire to. The opposite would be much more distressing.

I hope he enjoys his time abroad.

I am pleased that I'm not alone in being delighted that my son and daughter had the adventurous spirit to leave home and explore and experience other parts of the world, different cultures and get a broader perspective on life. As a single parent for over 20 years the three of us had a very close and protective relationship. Perhaps because we lived in a fairly remote part of the country at the time I would have been surprised (if not disappointed) if they had not wanted to spread their wings whilst they were young and with no responsibilities.
I agree with Annodomini......make the most of your own 'new' life.

Mmm yattypung, good for you to have gathered your family all about you.
I wonder do you ever give a thought to the feelings of the families that they left behind so that your family could stay together?

Oh dear bless you! I'd start planning now to go and see him after the first twelve months. Will give you time to save up and something to look forward to. In the meantime, phone, Skype, email, send letters, anything to keep in touch. Be interested in everything he tells you, be supportive & you'll never lose him. My big boy (32) is so close to me these days, after his long term partner left. I'm seeing him twice weekly now, more than I have in years. Boys never really 'leave', they just go on adventures but always need their Mums there to come back to ☺. The daughters? That's a whole other ball game!

Nonnie is right, Skype will be a very good way to keep in touch. It's not difficult, find someone to show you. And force yourself to keep busy. I don't want to sound a pessimistic note but I would not bank on him coming home for good - Australia has so much to offer.... However hard it feels we have to let them lead their own lives. In the years to come I'm sure you would want not want him blaming you for missed opportunities. Good luck.

I'm sorry you are upset. I would be too.

Sounds silly, but there are lots of competitions to win flights/ holidays to Australia. I would give them a go.

Nothing ventured.

Our son went off to Perth 6 years ago. He came back briefly a year ago but is now in a stable relationship in Melbourne. Yes, we still miss him but seeing him happy is the best antidote for any sadness. Face Time sessions and Group What’s App keep him up to date with family events and pictures of his and our antics help too.
It’s sad for you but an adventure for him. Practise painting that smile on your face and keep your tears to private times. I promise your smiling time will increase. It truely is a beautiful country. Do try to visit as soon as you can. It helps enormously to experience their world. Before you leave be sure to put the next meet up time in the diary.
Chin up - you gave him life now be happy that he’s able to enjoy it.

Thank you everyone for your comments. He is an independent boy, he travelled Europe on his own and then he did some volunteer work in Africa for 3 months, that was bad enough. I thought he would come home and get a job, but then he met a girl who was already going to Australia
He has face timed me and is now with his girlfriend who went out there in November and I know they should be together.
He has already got a job and it was lovely to be able to see his lovely face and see that he was happy.
hugs to you all whoever are missing their children, who are so very far away xx

My heart goes out to you, but he will have a wonderful time, and so will you when you visit him, until then enjoy your SKYPE time with him. Sending you hugs on this special day.

My son left to go to Japan in 2000 and is still there. He is married and I have two little granddaughters over there. We Skype every week and try to see them as much as possible. Hard to imagine now but it does get easier. I always had my daughter and grandson close by bit now she has over over three hours away. Miss them all a lot but am just glad they are happy and settled in their lives. They’re only with us ‘on loan’ for a while and we must just be glad we brought them up well. xx