grand children

not a one off it is happening all the time if anything doesn't go his way.

the other children are so lovely and a joy to be with.

He is the youngest of the family, its quite off putting to visiting, and for me its very sad.

Trisher yes definitely in anger.

Deedaa Thats just it no problem at school mad on football
but lashes out at home when things don't go his way.

It sounds as if he's acting like a spoilt brat because he knows he's clever and thinks he's better than the rest. You're right, it does need nipping in the bud before he does real damage. I hope his parents don't give in when he lashes out. (Personally, it'd be no dinner for my child if he hit me - actions and consequences.)

It's difficult for you as a grandparent, to say anything to them. But it's worth a try.
We sometimes had a family discussion when one of the children had a problem. He might take notice of his older siblings, they probably have their own views on his behaviour.

Daisychain Your GC sounds so like mine. They are seen as a paragon at school. Perfectly behaved, a model pupil. I think the cause of the violence lies in the discrepancy between intellectual and emotional age. Being the youngest doesn't help because the child wants to be able to do all the things that older siblings do, especially if they can see that they are just as bright as older children.

However, it is the parent's responsibility to help the child deal with the frustrations this discrepancy causes and certainly stop any violence towards other people.

I think some parents take a perverse pride in a child who is prepared to defend their space and take on targets bigger than they are. 'at least nobody will bully them'. Unfortunately parents fail to see that such children actually become the bullies as the child sees that violence gets the results they want and once violence is embedded in a child as a tool for getting their own way, it is difficult to eradicate.

Definitely not. Aged 3 one DGD tried it - just the once. I think a punch bag is an excellent idea. At 7 (all other things being normal) it is quite OK to tell said child that hitting people is unacceptable but if they want to get the aggression out of the system something like a punch bag is fine (haven't we all wanted to vent our frustration sometimes?)

Take heart . The real problems arise from the children who are badly behaved at school but perfect at home. That has been my experience anyway." Home is the place you are treated the best but behave the worst" is true for many children.

Accepting it happens isn't the same as allowing it, and I most certainly wouldn't allow it. There would be consequences each and every time.

You said his Dad spoils him? If you mean he never says no to him then that's the rod for own back I'm afraid.

This drip-feeding of information is strange.
So he's the youngest child, of how many? Is his behaviour encouraged by the adults? (sometimes the last child gets away with much because the parents know he is their last)
Younger children do sometimes have to fight for attention and if the others are 'lovely' maybe he has chosen being bad as his way of getting noticed. If this is the case he needs to be given more positive encouragement and the rages will become unnecessary.

Also a lot of Dads play fight with sons.

"Also a lot of Dads play fight with sons."
Good point NannyTee. Sometimes it can get out of control too.

Not in our family - and we have strong military tradition!

Daisychain can you not say, no hitting people when you are in my house, keep that for home?

Well I don’t think it’s acceptable to tell him to keep it for home as that's giving the impression it’s ok at places other than your house MOnica
I think there is still so little information Does the child hit everyone or only mum and dad, does he hit brothers or sisters, does he start fights at school? some children are emotionally behind and it often seems to be boys My teenage grandson is years behind his younger sister in emotional ability but ahead in physical abilities He used to run out if playschool at 3 and hit his mum as a greeting all the other kids came out and hugged their mums he used to completely muddle up love and anger but he’s a very normal boy and gets love right now ?
Your grandson may be a spoiled brat being the youngest, he may be on the autistic/ ADHD spectrum, he may be unsure of how to make his voice heard in this world of adults and older children, he may be insecure, he may be bullied, he may be coping older children outside the home, he may be trying to tell you something, he may have suppressed anger or he may just not have learned the pecking order

I think your original post is strange why are you asking when you know the answer

I m concerned at your post that says ‘ the other children are lovely and a joy to be with’ as that is already dividing him off as ‘ the difficult one, the black sheep ’ he will pick up on those feelings and probably act up all the more

Does he hit you if you say no ?

Surely if it was ADHD / Autism, he would be bad at school too ?

My 18 month old GD is the youngest of 3= she does smack sometimes. She goes on the naughty chair straight away. They have to learn .

Thats just it a spoilt brat. there is no punishment when it happens, and he knows he can get away with it.

MOnica He has not done it in my house, i see it when i go to visit. we are a distance apart.

Well if they are letting him get away with it , there's nothing anyone can do. He will just grow up a bigger spoilt brat. They are doing him no favours. But you already know this.

So if you think he's just a spoilt brat , why ask our opinion?

Not acceptable ,to do this and cause you injury , what on earth are the parents thinking allowing this naughty child to carry on like this? do they not realise what sort of bad behaviour they are allowing?? gosh some parents sure do not bother anymore with concerns what their offspring and behaving like and how they are allowing them to grow up, if this was my GC he would get a very stern telling off from me and his parents would get the same ,

Same here jacksmum. My GD is knee high to a grass hopper and still we make sure nobody laughs at her .