grand children

No . Do the parents lash out at the children?

There may be a reason for their bad behaviour.

no never it is only one of their children a seven year old who does this, to both his mum and dad

I would want to have much much more information about the event before I reached any judgement.

The answer could go either way depending on the circumstances.

You definitely can’t make a judgement on one sentence

In general definitely not.

But some children have conditions which cause them to react violently or unpredictability.

Can't make a judgement about this - not enough information.

Some children are still impulsive at this age - especially if overexcited/hyped up on sugar around Christmas. Some children have special needs and can behave younger than their actual age

I agree there could be so many reasons for this, not sure its a case of 'allowing' but more of finding out why.

A child will sometimes lash out with frustration being unable to articulate what the upset is. Is sh/he thin skinned and easily upset? Is s/he well behaved at school? Is sh/he the oldest child and being given too much responsibility? Pressure to do well? Is the home overcrowded? Chaotic? Noisy? Are the parents in a happy relationship? Lots of questions to get to the root of the problem. Professional help may be needed. The child’s teacher may be a good starting point.

This is a happy home, and the child a boy is clever, very demanding, and the father spoils him in my opinion.
I have never known this kind of behaveior in one so young.

Daisychain That explains it. We have a GC of the same age with a wide discrepancy between high mental ability and chronological and emotional age. They are also hyper sensitive to sound, light and smell. They just get very frustrated with themselves and throw tantrums. They are certainly not allowed to hurt other people, but a certain latitude is allowed otherwise as we are all aware that they are often more angry and frustrated with themselves than anyone else.

Whatever the reason or the background, an immediate reaction is necessary. Perhaps the parents and you, and anyone else who is close to the child should agree on a strategy and all react in the same way when he does this.

Only the parents/grandparents etc know what would help in this situation. A stern look, a certain phrase, diverting his attention, holding him firmly - whatever suits.

He could be copying something he has seen, there may be someone treating him like this that he can't tell you about, he may have something that is building up inside him (jealousy of a younger sibling, worries at school), or he may have some condition (something like Tourettes - I'm afraid I have no idea about this kind of thing). As with most things, it needs getting to the bottom of.

Do keep us posted as to what happens, and if it stops.

My GS at three was attacking us. I used to have to cover up bruises. He was diagnosed on autistic spectrum. Now he is on medication but still is unpredictable. Heartbreaking. Are you the only one worried?

yes actually i am the only one worried. I thought i was maybe over reacting on this, but a gut feeling was telling me it should not be happening, nothing is going to change soon as the parents do not see a problem. I am just worried if he will be like this when he is 10 or 12 years of age.

Was this a one-off, or does it happen often?

MOnica makes sense. Hopefully he’ll emotionally grow into himself way before he reaches 10/12 years old! Would he listen to you? He needs a coping strategy for when he looses his cool. A punch bag in his room perhaps!?

Well, mostly we deal with upset and frustration and kicking up a fuss about reasonable demands rather than physical violence and DS and |DDiL parents think that the best way forward is for them to learn to accept that they cannot always do what they want when they want to.

Our DS and DDiL deal with it very sensibly, or at least I think they do, they have a clear framework of behaviour they consider acceptable or unacceptable and they sanction in a non-violent way any behaviour that goes beyond that framework.

I think it is a phase they are going through and as they develop emotionally, so they will understand the advantages of self control and channeling thrie fru

Post just posted itself half way through the sentence....
........and channelling their frustrations into more advantageous routes

Happens all the time.

No it's not acceptable. Even if the child has special needs he has to learn that hitting others is not allowed. A seven year old can cause bruises. Imagine what he'll do at seventeen if he's not stopped.

Definitely not acceptable.
If there are other children in the family who don't do it, why do the parents accept it with this one? Do they just don't know what to do about it?

No, definitely not. No one should be allowed to lash out at anyone whatever their age.

Too little information to decide on this. Is it regular? Is it in anger? How do parents view it? (sometimes they think it is funny) Is there a particular trigger/time/ circumstance? What is his position in the family? (Sometimes younger children are more frustrated) I would need far more info to make a judgement.

DD's friend has an autistic son and he has always been violent towards her. He is able to cope with school (more or less) and the school doesn't think he needs extra help, but is awful at home. She doesn't get a lot of help from her husband because this isn't the sort of child he expected to have.