grand children

Exactly what I said and felt Trisher

Actually I'm feeling quite sorry for him, the others are 'lovely', he's a 'spoiled brat'

You too, daisy

A big thank you to each and every one of you, for your replies. I would like to follow this through in time to see how things develope.
a very happy new year to you all x

jacksmum where does it say he has injured anyone ???

I really don’t understand what Daisymum is asking she knows it’s not acceptable it’s never happened in her house and unless the parents see it as a problem not much to be done She can carefully and tactfully mention it to her son or daughter but above that not a lot else as it doesn’t t seem to happen to her personally.

Exactly.

Quite a lot of the threads start with "My daughter/son was always a 'difficult child' so I suppose we tried to avoid upsetting them..."
People are then asking for advice because their daughter/son is now 43 and still "difficult"!

They have to be taught as toddlers.

Same here jacksmum. My GD is knee high to a grass hopper and still we make sure nobody laughs at her .

Not acceptable ,to do this and cause you injury , what on earth are the parents thinking allowing this naughty child to carry on like this? do they not realise what sort of bad behaviour they are allowing?? gosh some parents sure do not bother anymore with concerns what their offspring and behaving like and how they are allowing them to grow up, if this was my GC he would get a very stern telling off from me and his parents would get the same ,

So if you think he's just a spoilt brat , why ask our opinion?

Well if they are letting him get away with it , there's nothing anyone can do. He will just grow up a bigger spoilt brat. They are doing him no favours. But you already know this.

MOnica He has not done it in my house, i see it when i go to visit. we are a distance apart.

Thats just it a spoilt brat. there is no punishment when it happens, and he knows he can get away with it.

My 18 month old GD is the youngest of 3= she does smack sometimes. She goes on the naughty chair straight away. They have to learn .

Surely if it was ADHD / Autism, he would be bad at school too ?

Well I don’t think it’s acceptable to tell him to keep it for home as that's giving the impression it’s ok at places other than your house MOnica
I think there is still so little information Does the child hit everyone or only mum and dad, does he hit brothers or sisters, does he start fights at school? some children are emotionally behind and it often seems to be boys My teenage grandson is years behind his younger sister in emotional ability but ahead in physical abilities He used to run out if playschool at 3 and hit his mum as a greeting all the other kids came out and hugged their mums he used to completely muddle up love and anger but he’s a very normal boy and gets love right now ?
Your grandson may be a spoiled brat being the youngest, he may be on the autistic/ ADHD spectrum, he may be unsure of how to make his voice heard in this world of adults and older children, he may be insecure, he may be bullied, he may be coping older children outside the home, he may be trying to tell you something, he may have suppressed anger or he may just not have learned the pecking order

I think your original post is strange why are you asking when you know the answer

I m concerned at your post that says ‘ the other children are lovely and a joy to be with’ as that is already dividing him off as ‘ the difficult one, the black sheep ’ he will pick up on those feelings and probably act up all the more

Does he hit you if you say no ?

Not in our family - and we have strong military tradition!

Daisychain can you not say, no hitting people when you are in my house, keep that for home?

"Also a lot of Dads play fight with sons."
Good point NannyTee. Sometimes it can get out of control too.

Also a lot of Dads play fight with sons.

This drip-feeding of information is strange.
So he's the youngest child, of how many? Is his behaviour encouraged by the adults? (sometimes the last child gets away with much because the parents know he is their last)
Younger children do sometimes have to fight for attention and if the others are 'lovely' maybe he has chosen being bad as his way of getting noticed. If this is the case he needs to be given more positive encouragement and the rages will become unnecessary.

You said his Dad spoils him? If you mean he never says no to him then that's the rod for own back I'm afraid.

Accepting it happens isn't the same as allowing it, and I most certainly wouldn't allow it. There would be consequences each and every time.

Take heart . The real problems arise from the children who are badly behaved at school but perfect at home. That has been my experience anyway." Home is the place you are treated the best but behave the worst" is true for many children.

Definitely not. Aged 3 one DGD tried it - just the once. I think a punch bag is an excellent idea. At 7 (all other things being normal) it is quite OK to tell said child that hitting people is unacceptable but if they want to get the aggression out of the system something like a punch bag is fine (haven't we all wanted to vent our frustration sometimes?)