The New Argy Bargy cafe, please pop in!?

Charley, that's pretty obvious?
From one bad girl to another.?

I go away for a few days and look what you lot get up to and I've had to buy a new wig as well.
The things I found in the cellar I cannot even mention but I have disinfected the whole place, Big Jim included. His new earrings were a little disturbing but so well glued on he decided to keep them.

Did Lemon really say she was wearing a fireman’s tutu? Funny sort of fireman ...

Actually, it originally belonged to big Jim.

Jane pay attention! I was wearing a firemans hat and a tutu....not a firemans tutu ( they tend to stay quiet about those) but a ballerina’s tutu ( don’t ask which ballerina) ?
What a night, if only I could remember what happened.

A pint of cooking sherry please and a bag of cheese and onion crisps.

I think Big Jim is in my loft. Either that or a squirrel with boots on. Does Jim gnaw at roof timbers?

Among other things

I think we are drawing near to the end of our lease here in The Argy, wonder if the owner will renew it? If we bung him a few quid maybe?

All in favour say iiii.....need a drink

????????
Several drinks for you there.Mind if I join you?I need a sit down, had a busy day off and on, and need the deep peace of the bar stool after the hurly burly of the chaise lounge ( as somebody famous once almost said.)
Have given Barry and Big Jim the night off, the poor dears have been overworking, I heard Marydoll shouting at them in the cellar to ‘be quick’.......not sure what she was doing down there.
Chewy will be manning the bar tomorrow as it’s my ‘ladies wot lunch’ day, but I will drop by in the evening to help with a clean up.

No can do lemon, I'll be a lady wot lunches tomorrow, so I won't have time to slop gin in buckets here I'm afraid. Anyway, I've been in battle tonight and even though I'm usually a teetotaller, I'm in need of a pint of whisky chaser. Then, back into battle.......

Here I am behind the bar! Thinking up new cocktails - a Rough Ball for any passing Aussies, made with beer and whisky, garnished with bbq prawns and a pinch of kangaroo dung?

Sounds good Jane knew we could rely on you!?

Chewy, have you been in Battle ( East Sussex) or in a battle?
I think I know which one, you love a good scrap.??

What entertainment is happening over Easter at the Argy, I have some friends from abroad over and the want to see a typical English pub so I thought I'd bring them tonight, do you think this is a good idea?

Typical? Maybe not Meno!.
But memorable? Definitely!
Easter Egg hunts are traditional about now - could we use that theme? Now, what could we hunt for? I know some of the laydees as Soops are on the hunt for strong young men. They say they need them for the garden. Is that a eufywhotsit?

Mary knows all the places to hide strong young/old men in the Argy so let's have an Easter man hunt, I'll ditch my visitors as I want to join in and I don't want them to get the wrong impression of me do I ?! Do we keep the ones we find?

Good evening fellow Argies. I know all the secret places to hide the menfolk. The trouble is, that some are so secret, we may never find them again. On top of that, I'm having memory lapses, I'm having memory lapses, I'm having memory lapses and I'll probably forget where they are hiding. Meno ?
I have a great idea, I know all the places to hide the menfolk, let's have an Easter man hunt.

Marydoll, can you tell us
- what year it is?
- who is the prime minister?
- where did you hide Big Jim?

What was the question again??

Go and have a nice lie down preferably on your own Marydoll, you've been overdoing it again. Remember when you overdid it last time and you kept getting on and off that bus for 2 days? And the escalator that you went up and down on for a week?

I know, it is 1945 and Winston Churchill is the Prime Minister. You will have to get up early to catch me out.?
By the way, who is Big Jim??????

Have you been tasting the poteen again?

Uh oh! Ok Marydoll, sit down in this nice comfy chair and keep your eyes on this watch pendulum. I'll count from 1 to 10 and when I say "13", you'll fall into a deep, deep sleep. When I wake you up, you'll remember everything. Ok?

I can only count to 5 . Will that work?

1,2,3, ????????

Chewbacca, this is worse than last time. Suggestions anyone?