too kind daughter

I agree with a few others - especially aggie, who say they see the advantages of living near family when real old age affects us. You can leave it until too late.
We're just slightly older than you Tell No1OK, and husband has become very lame over the last few months, I always depended on him physically. My energy level is going down by the day. We're planning to move back to the UK near our DD1, but the logistics are SO stressful.
It sounds to me as if your daughter is thinking ahead not just about herself, but about you as well.

Independence is a fine thing. Be glad that there will be space there for extended visits but keep your own home, even if you rent it out you never know what lies ahead.

My good friend is in exactly same situation her DD and family have moved from Hertfordshire to Dorset and have offered my friend the same deal. My friend loves where her DD has moved to but she said she’s not ready to move away and give up the life style she has at this time. Maybe in a few years but not yet. In the meantime she’s enjoying weekends in Dorset with DD but then back to the live she loves.Her DD understands. My friend is 61 and still fit and healthy.

Tell her you appreciate she is thinking of you and your DH but at current time feel able to live independently but if in years to come this changes you will bare her kind offer in mind.

Many thanks indeed for all your thoughts.... which have confirmed what i thought... say thanks love but not just yet... the idea that she uses the barn for holiday accommodation is exactly right... and will give them the project they love! she will be retiring early in a couple of years .... and will see whether or not she can live with "people" in her garden ...
Thank you everyone for your time and thoughts... i'll just keep saying... "thank you, lovely idea but not just yet .. "

Can I add one more consideration about 'not just yet'?
I have 2 friends whose (widowed) mothers moved to be near them whilst in their 70s. Outgoing & sociable people, they took up interests, joined local activities, and best of all, became good friends with their children's friends (including me!). One in particular was a great comfort when my own mother was deteriorating.
Another, who waited until necessary, then relied totally on her son for company, because she was unable to get out.
Now, it doesn't suit everyone - uprooting a lifetime's (or more) relationships, baggage and history does not come easily, and the 2 for whom it succeeded were women who had moved several times in their adult lives - they were leaving friends, but not 'roots'. But I do think it's worth consideration.

If at all, the time has to be right for you, it’s your life, your decisions and your daughter must respect this, even tho it’s so very thoughtful of her.

It sounds a lovely suggestion TellNo1Ok, but there's a lot to think about. My cousin and her DH did just this, their DD, SiL & 2 DGS sold up and moved to a lovely home that was big enough for them to move in with, they paid for a conservatory, a wet room etc for themselves. All went well for about 3 years when suddenly her DD told them that they were divorcing and they'd have to sell the house to buy 2 smaller ones. They still had most of the money from their first house but as they had spent out quite a bit it wasn't enough to buy another home. Fortunately their DS was able to offer to buy 1/2 of the bungalow they found and they have an agreement that they can live there for as long as they want and when they die 1/2 will be his outright plus 1/3 of the other half along with his siblings. It's been such an upheaval for them that has a real impact on their health, although they are happily settled and intend to remain on their own now as it's quite a small, manageable bungalow.

Tell no1ok. You say your daughter is not listening. Keep repeating the no thanks message, politely. Say it again and again. Bit suspicious that SIL is putting pressure on her for various reasons.
What happens when interest rates rise? If he or she loses their jobs? If you are happy where you are, stay there.
Best of luck.

Warning bells are sounding.!!!!
Your life your house?
DD suggests you sell your present house, which you appear happy with, and save the money by living in a converted barn on her land.
Save the money for what.?

My first thought was, "definitely not"! But there are lots of opinions on here and I do know of a family where this works beautifully. You seem to have made up your mind and I particularly like the comment that you'll bear it in mind for when you're old!

I have made it very clear to my children that though I love them all dearly I would rather go into a residential home and them take me out to lunch or have me for a few days occasionally than to actually live with any of them. Of course I would prefer to die at home and my children, who all live fairly close, already do a great deal for me, but I hope I will know when "a great deal" becomes"too much".

A friend of ours moved in with her Daughter & SIL. All well for 5 years. SIL found a new lady friend. All my friends money had been sunk into the big house & granny flat. Daughter then found a 'friend' with kids & needed granny flat to house them all. My friend lost her home & has moved into rented accomadation several miles away just as her DH was diagnosed with cancer. He's since died,my friend who once owned her own bungalow has been left with nothing.

My MiL passed away 12 years ago and FiL declined any offers of support i.e. A meal or two every week. He has been very independent and until very recently (now aged 86) managed far more than his health would have suggested. However, a fall or two has meant a massive and rapid decline in his health and despite having carers visit, my DH now has no life as he has to drive to make 3 visits every day, has missed a holiday with me and our dogs and cannot come away next week with me (DDs and DGC are instead).
I wonder if your family are anticipating maybe offering you care should you require it in the future?
That said, your life - your decisions and if you're happy as you are then it seems right that you shouldn't move.
Maybe a discussion over a nice meal out would clarify things
Sounds like you're a great Mum though if you're wanted close by

How lovely, but her life may change and so may yours - until then, dig your heels in and say you cannot leave your friends just yet. In a few years it will be wonderful. Fingers firmly crossed behind your back.