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Buying birthday/Christmas cards for husbands family

(43 Posts)
Izzywizzy Sat 09-Sept-17 22:33:38

Do you always buy your husbands family birthday and Christmas cards ? I have friends who refuse to do this saying they have enough to do/think of and the man should want to buy his own family cards.
But if the husband forgets to send their family cards does it reflect on the woman ?
Or is it something we like doing ?

Ellie Anne Sun 10-Sept-17 14:39:01

I send all my husbands family cards. They wouldn't get one if I didn't.i do get cards from them but it's always the wives( who are his in laws) who send them

Nelliemaggs Sun 10-Sept-17 14:56:00

Good question. I always had to remember cards, birthdays and Christmas, for my husband and when he retired and I was still working gave him a list of his family and friends, addresses and cards included and suggested from then on it was his responsibility. He did it grudgingly but the next year didn't bother.
The year he wandered off (as I like to put it) I joyfully crossed 'his' friends off my list. Some of them kept in touch with me but I doubt if any of them ever heard from him again.

1974cookie Sun 10-Sept-17 17:10:54

My Partner always used to put his Family's birthday and Xmas cards in front of me, and ask me to write them all out.
Sorry if I sound mean, but I have always refused. He is not a child, and can write his own cards. ( I wonder what he used to do prior to meeting me ? ) I really should have tried turning the tables, but I already know the answer. Bless Him.

rockgran Sun 10-Sept-17 17:57:33

I've always done it because I enjoy it and he doesn't. When we were first going out he used to take me for lunch in exchange for helping him choose his family presents. He really appreciated the input and still does. We made a nice day out of it and still do it now. I make a lot of our cards and he likes to admire them before they are sent - and it is his job to take things to the post office. Works for us.

Tessa101 Sun 10-Sept-17 19:37:24

It was always my job however I enjoyed doing it and am organised so they were always bought in advance.

lemongrove Sun 10-Sept-17 19:40:56

I thought that all wives took over the writing and sending of Christmas/birthday cards to all the family?Obviously not.?
I have always done it, and don't mind at all.

Cherrytree59 Sun 10-Sept-17 20:05:09

I choose cards.
put pen in his hand ,
he writes card
I post.smile

Legs55 Sun 10-Sept-17 20:45:54

Cherrytree59 nicely put. I always had to keep track of all Birthdays, write Christmas cards & buy presents for late DH. I did however refuse to sign them. Present wrapping was his forte. He always remembered my Birthday & a Christmas card specially chosen. I just regarded it as part of married life.

M0nica Mon 11-Sept-17 14:59:11

In his working days DH travelled, at home and abroad a lot, usually with little or know warning with uncertain return dates - and before mobiles and the internet. I became the Household Manager and did everything, paid bills, bought cards and presents, dealt with builders and tradespeople.

As he has been working ever since he retired nothing much has changed, although he says his current project is his last one, but I am not holding my breath!!

Iam64 Mon 11-Sept-17 15:39:34

First marriage. I did all cards and gifts. Second marriage, I don't do any for his friends or family. He doesn't do any for mine. We love each other's friends and family, occasionally plan or shop together for a special occasion but never would expect the other to sort it all out.

janipat Tue 12-Sept-17 13:45:19

I've always done the cards and gifts for both sides because I love his sisters, brothers-in-law, nephews and nieces as much as I love my blood relations and in-laws. It's sad to me to feel you don't care enough to wish your in-laws well on festive occasions. I don't do drains, clearing up fox poo from the garden or a myriad of very unpleasant tasks, I like the joyful ones of card and gift buying. But horses for courses.

Imperfect27 Tue 12-Sept-17 14:40:26

I buy all the Christmas cards, but with some chosen to suit DH's tastes which are different from mine and he writes all the cards for his side of the family and his friends.

For birthdays, I remind him of up and coming birthdays and he then chooses. I would not want to choose for him - I think he should make the effort, though /I think he would be happy enough to leave it to me!

Iam64 Tue 12-Sept-17 15:29:08

Big conclusion to make Janipat, that not doing all the gift buying means we don't care enough to wish our in laws well on festive occasions. That doesn't apply to me, does it apply to your husband as it seems he doesn't buy for his inlaws?

Norah Tue 12-Sept-17 15:36:26

janipat, I love DH's relatives, but he buys their cards and gifts. Neither he doesn't buy for my family. Because we each buy to our own. flowers wine

lemongrove Tue 12-Sept-17 18:04:33

This thread reminds me to buy Christmas cards ( not write them ) as I used up all the piles of cards that had 'built up' at the bottom of the wardrobe last year.?

Izzywizzy Tue 12-Sept-17 19:21:21

janipat it's got nothing to do with how much we love our in laws. Would this mean your husband doesn't love your family enough ?

grumppa Tue 12-Sept-17 21:44:02

We buy Christmas cards together. I write the ones to my family and friends, and DW deals with hers. We share out the neighbours. It has never been an issue.