Buying birthday/Christmas cards for husbands family

We buy Christmas cards together. I write the ones to my family and friends, and DW deals with hers. We share out the neighbours. It has never been an issue.

janipat it's got nothing to do with how much we love our in laws. Would this mean your husband doesn't love your family enough ?

This thread reminds me to buy Christmas cards ( not write them ) as I used up all the piles of cards that had 'built up' at the bottom of the wardrobe last year.?

janipat, I love DH's relatives, but he buys their cards and gifts. Neither he doesn't buy for my family. Because we each buy to our own.

Big conclusion to make Janipat, that not doing all the gift buying means we don't care enough to wish our in laws well on festive occasions. That doesn't apply to me, does it apply to your husband as it seems he doesn't buy for his inlaws?

I buy all the Christmas cards, but with some chosen to suit DH's tastes which are different from mine and he writes all the cards for his side of the family and his friends.

For birthdays, I remind him of up and coming birthdays and he then chooses. I would not want to choose for him - I think he should make the effort, though /I think he would be happy enough to leave it to me!

I've always done the cards and gifts for both sides because I love his sisters, brothers-in-law, nephews and nieces as much as I love my blood relations and in-laws. It's sad to me to feel you don't care enough to wish your in-laws well on festive occasions. I don't do drains, clearing up fox poo from the garden or a myriad of very unpleasant tasks, I like the joyful ones of card and gift buying. But horses for courses.

First marriage. I did all cards and gifts. Second marriage, I don't do any for his friends or family. He doesn't do any for mine. We love each other's friends and family, occasionally plan or shop together for a special occasion but never would expect the other to sort it all out.

In his working days DH travelled, at home and abroad a lot, usually with little or know warning with uncertain return dates - and before mobiles and the internet. I became the Household Manager and did everything, paid bills, bought cards and presents, dealt with builders and tradespeople.

As he has been working ever since he retired nothing much has changed, although he says his current project is his last one, but I am not holding my breath!!

Cherrytree59 nicely put. I always had to keep track of all Birthdays, write Christmas cards & buy presents for late DH. I did however refuse to sign them. Present wrapping was his forte. He always remembered my Birthday & a Christmas card specially chosen. I just regarded it as part of married life.

I choose cards.
put pen in his hand ,
he writes card
I post.

I thought that all wives took over the writing and sending of Christmas/birthday cards to all the family?Obviously not.?
I have always done it, and don't mind at all.

It was always my job however I enjoyed doing it and am organised so they were always bought in advance.

I've always done it because I enjoy it and he doesn't. When we were first going out he used to take me for lunch in exchange for helping him choose his family presents. He really appreciated the input and still does. We made a nice day out of it and still do it now. I make a lot of our cards and he likes to admire them before they are sent - and it is his job to take things to the post office. Works for us.

My Partner always used to put his Family's birthday and Xmas cards in front of me, and ask me to write them all out.
Sorry if I sound mean, but I have always refused. He is not a child, and can write his own cards. ( I wonder what he used to do prior to meeting me ? ) I really should have tried turning the tables, but I already know the answer. Bless Him.

Good question. I always had to remember cards, birthdays and Christmas, for my husband and when he retired and I was still working gave him a list of his family and friends, addresses and cards included and suggested from then on it was his responsibility. He did it grudgingly but the next year didn't bother.
The year he wandered off (as I like to put it) I joyfully crossed 'his' friends off my list. Some of them kept in touch with me but I doubt if any of them ever heard from him again.

I send all my husbands family cards. They wouldn't get one if I didn't.i do get cards from them but it's always the wives( who are his in laws) who send them

Grannyticktock I too feel his family would regard it as a failing on my part if a birthday was missed.
I wonder if they do think that or is it something we just imagine ?

I always did all the cards, because I knew he would forget, and then OH's family would have regarded this as a failing on my part, not his. In fact, everything that was wrong between him and his family was pinned on me and deemed to be my fault.

I do all the card sending and present buying for both our families.......my DH does help with the wrapping of Xmas presents though as I am impatient after wrapping 2or 3 and get bored with it all and he has far more patience than I have. He always remembers cards for me though on birthdays and anniversaries. This became one of my jobs over the years and DH is the sorter out of finances and bill paying. Other jobs such as washing and ironing are my jobs only......( prefer this as would probably have to renew a lot of clothing if left to him!) ...while quite a few other household things we share together. This works out for us and we are quite happy with this arrangement.

sandelf I don't do it to make it look like he cares. I do it because I care.

As for your last sentence well, the mind boggles.

Depressing. Why do you do this?? If a person does not care enough to send a card who are you to think you have a right to make them look as though they care?

DH told me when we got married that was one of the reasons he married! I had to remember his sister's birthday, parents, the nephews and niece etc.
After a while, I rebelled, reminded him of the events, gave him a stock of cards to choose from and left him to it!
when I hit 60, I decided that cards etc., were not a competition, so I ditched all the people who were peripheral to my life, I would never see again, [or never wanted...] so now have a very reduced list! In fact, I only post Xmas/birthday cards to those people who don't have email.

I do all the card sending and present buying. His family would never hear from us if it were left up to him! I don't mind at all. I love his family and have none of my own ...

Everything reflected badly on me as far as my ex husband's family were concerned - if he didn't ring his mother, if a birthday card/present was missed etc etc. The humdingers were always the invitations HE didn't want to accept - he always responded on the phone that he would have to check with me before accepting this when he went back to them (often without even asking me!) and refused the invite they automatically assumed it was because I didn't want to go!