Children unready for school - what can we do?

Surely children from
Poorer backgrounds will still be sent to nursery where the places are free? They will be given books there and learn to go to the toilet by themselves.
I agree that 4 is too young for some children. My gd just missed this years intake and though she is bright enough she is not emotionally ready for school.

I think we start children at school too young. Other countries go for 6, and their children aren't behind our early starters. One GS started at just 4 because of where his birthday fell. He started part time, and actually he coped; but he is a bright, eloquent child. However when they start so young you feel you've lost some of their childhood. No wonderful walks in the countryside looking at nature etc., going swimming.... As for homework..and SATS don't get me started on that one!

I used to be a playgroup leader and all the children knew how to use a toilet when they started at three. It is unusual for a child not to go to playgoups as thy are now given free places a couple of times a week. They would have plenty of contact with books.

The argument for sending children to school at 4 is a double-edged sword. In Germany children don't start school until they're 7 yet the overall results are no worse than British children's results aged 11. However, the standard of living in Germany is higher than here and if children didn't go to school at 4 there'd be huge outcries about the need for child care via extended nursery and pre-school. Personally, I think a child aged 4 can cope with school and is certainly ready for some enhanced intellectual stimulation, but forced writing at that age is a recipe for disaster. On the subject of children not being ready because they are still not toilet trained, that's down to lazy parents and disposable nappies - with the disposable nappies being an indication of lazy parents - I know there'll be lots of grannies on here who say 'ah but, my grandchildren have been in disposables and my daughter or dil isn't lazy, but think about it ... towelling nappies even with a liner let the baby/child know when it's wet and disposable nappies don't. If a toddler is able to pull up its pants and have a wee without feeling any discomfort where's the incentive to go to the toilet - there's research to back this up - babies who wear towelling nappies are toilet-trained earlier than those who wear huggies (or equivalent) and certainly go to school able to take themselves to the toilet. More to the point, all the disposables are full of chemicals whereas towelling nappies can be organic. I do think it's lazy of modern mums to opt for disposable nappies from the word go - all it takes is a moment's thought to consider how hard it will be to get baby/toddler out of this habit when the time comes for toilet training. And the trend is there, more children at 4/5 can't manage the toilet at school.

my children and my grandchildren ALL wore disposable nappies most were toilet trained by 2 ,one wasn't because his working parts didn't work and he needed an operation so he was just over 3 when he was toilet trained .Its not LAZY to use disposables if you're working full time and looking after children and a home ,many of the grans generation didn't work after marriage I know my mother didn't so they had all day to boil nappies to their hearts content.What a shame some of you dont see the pressures young families are under and just constantly criticise them .Its a different world from 1947 or whenever you had your children ...and a damn sight better in many ways...rose tinted glasses have a lot to answer for

I was a TA for thirty years. It was just as bad in the 70's as it is now. The only thing was children got more help from sympathetic professional teachers, where now they are just so very young teachers who have very little idea.
I have a friend that still works at the the school as a T A and she is being asked how to spell certain words by teachers.
This school is an inner city school as well.

My 4 year old Grandson started school today, pleased to say he enjoyed it.

As well as being sure that four is too young for school I also object strongly to schools constantly referring to "work" for these infants.
There is no place for work in the life of four year olds, who have just left babyhood and have a whole exciting world to explore through play. Sitting down to learn to write can wait, it's not something they need to be able to do.
Those recalling experiences many years ago must remember that we and our children normally started school at five. A year is a long time to small children and there's a big difference between just- four and nearly- five.

Unfortunately if a child is not school ready it does fall on the parents.

But that is not to say that they would be bad parents, we all know how difficult it can be raising children and not everything that should get done is done.

It is just one of those things, hopefully school what do what school is supposed to do and get children to a level that they are meant to be

I went to school under the old LCC. We started at 4, but, we were all in one big room ( in the main building) where we had an open fire, our own little toilets, and in the afternoon our little camp beds would come out so that we could have a sleep. It was heaven. That's how all 'small' children should start school

I don't think you can blame poverty on its own for this, but Social Media plays a big role. Everytime I go out I see parents, some poor, some not so poor, walking along the road with their children, sitting on the bus with their children, sitting in the cafe with their children and so on, completely ignoring their children because they are too busy on their phones. When my children were young, whenever we went out anywhere, to the supermarket, for a walk etc I would be giving them a running commentary as we walked. And yes, we were poor, but talking costs nothing. Our kids always got a bedtime story as we weren't worrying about what we might be missing on Facebook! I feel so sorry for today's youngsters, having to compete with a phone for mums time. We also wanted our kids out of nappies asap as we had to wash and sterilise them, throwaway nappies were only used for holidays, if you could afford one. In many ways, I think society has regressed rather than progressed. We can't keep blaming poverty for everything, bearing in mind that a lot of these 'poor' families seem to manage to have the biggest TVs, the latest mobile phones and so on.

I have to say that this post is coming across as very judgemental against today's parents. I have four children, now aged 22, 20, 18 and 11. In fact, they have all recently had they have all recently had birthdays - my eldest, DD1, has her birthday at the end of July, whilst the other 3DC have their birthdays in August, so I certainly know what having children who are young in the year is like.

The changes are not just down to parents spending all their time on phones and watching TV and not paying their children enough attention. My eldest 3DC all started school the January after their 4th birthday and spent the first half-term at school until lunch-time, so they were all 4 and a half before they were at school all day. They could all attend the local nursery at 2.5 years, provided they were either toilet trained or, if not, I was prepared to go down to the nursery and change the nappy if it was soiled during a session. Fortunately, my 3DD were all toilet trained by 2 years and 3 months. My son was marginally later but I only ever had to go down to nursery once to change his nappy.

By the time my youngest DC was at nursery, nappies were accepted. When DC4 started school, she started in the September - 10 days after her 4th birthday. Within 3 weeks of starting, she was attending school all day.

These were just obvious changes that, as a parent, I noticed. I sent my children to nursery more for the social skills they would learn and so that they learned to be separated from mummy. They were all brought up to love books and story-telling. However, when DC4 was at nursery, much more detailed records were kept, with detailed pictures and notes depicting which targets had been met and which areas needed working on. This book was transferred to Reception at the local primary school - ideally by the end of Reception, all the targets had been met, irrespective of whether the child was just 5 or almost 6.

When my eldest 3DC were at school and before I had DC4, I trained and became a childminder. For the most part, I chose to mind children who were under 5 (pre-school), as I wanted to spend the time on my own children after school. I loved childminding and spent many hours chatting, reading, playing and interacting with the children I cared for. I had a short break when I had DC4 and then resumed childminding.

However, I gave up when DC4 was about 2 for two reasons. Firstly, I felt I was compromising my own child to meet the needs of other cared-for children and, secondly, there were new rules that were coming in that required childminders to keep detailed records of achievements and milestones met and examples of how different criteria were met. To me, this was not what childminding was about. I had always kept a "contact" book, where either the parents or I could write messages or notes for one another when necessary, but my belief was, and still is, that if a parent wants their child's achievements monitored, then they would choose to send them to a nursery rather than a childminder.

So, to summarise, there have been more targets that have been set in the past 10 years and nurseries have had to be more accommodating. Not all parents are lazy, as one or two of the previous posters would like to believe. Children are starting school at an even younger age nowadays.

Fewer children where I work are school ready than used to be the case. Toileting, talking in even short sentences, knowing how to play with sand, paint, crayons, play dough etc. Knowing how to interact with each other or respond to basic questions e.g. "Would you like an apple?" With yes please or no thank you or even just yes or no instead of grabbing it or punching the giver. It means, as someone has already said, that most of the TA time AND the teachers's time is taken up with these children.
Is the school in a poor area? No, it's quite mixed. The children have simply not been encouraged to develop these skills and it can't solely be the fault of the state, some of it lies in the hands of the parents. I'm not impressed by the cuts in funding for SureStart centres but that's not only where the blame lies. This year, among other new starters there is a little boy with a single, working mother who is unbelievably polite for a 4 year old and keen to chat with anyone and try anything going. Alongside him is another child where both parents work, who has to be gently detached from his iPad on arrival. He has little vocabulary and has no idea what to do unless directed and supported. Money doesn't solve everything. Children need attention.

I'm sure most gransnetters will agree that bringing up children is not an easy job - it's damned hard work. Even for those parents lucky enough to have healthy children, a partner, a decent home and enough income not to have to worry about how to pay the month's bills.

To raise sociable, happy children, healthy and with good eating habits, fully toilet trained, being able to share, being able to communicate well and be polite to adults, able to listen, capable of holding a pencil correctly, have a love of books, able to dress themselves independently all by the age of four is really quite an achievement!

So it's great that the majority reach these standards.

Some families are not so lucky (for a variety of reasons) and their children deserve support from good state funded nurseries if they are not to fall through the net. We have a responsibility as a society to support them, as they are the future citizens of our country,

I also agree that 4yrs is too soon for most kids.
My eldest DS started school at 4, and i remember crying at the entrance, just thinking he was a baby .
He had all my time so wasnt defient in most skills
.I never went back to work till my son was 10 yrs old .My DS 2nd Boy( .I have 3 grandsons) also starts school this monday next.
Although his 4 birthday was just Aug 25 th.
I think its a shame .
Hes expected to do a full day straight away too.