Bad dreams

It's normal to worry about GC you love them but don't have same control you had over your children hope nightmares stop soon have mercy and congratulations on becoming a grandma enjoy!!!!

Thank you all for your lovely messages - I feel better already knowing that I am not alone!!!! What a fabulous resource this is - I am so glad I found it.

As others have said it is normal to be anxious about a beloved grandchild that (unlike your own child at that age) is not in your care!
However if it gets excessive (ie it is not warranted by observations of the care your GC is receiving) then do mention it to your GP as it could be an Anxiety Disorder possibly based on a traumatic experience in your own childhood or early motherhood experience. We typically experience things for a reason.

My daughter spends a lot time driving the grandchildren up and down the motorway to the various clubs and classes that they attend. She is a very capable driver but I still can't help worrying about them being involved in an accident.

When our son was a toddler, my husband who is usually a very rational man kept having a nightmare that he was chasing our son along The Cobb at Lyme Regis but was unable to catch him and he fell off the end into the sea. This effected him so much that he refused to visit there for several years.

As lots of others have said I am sure this is not unusual, a feeling of responsibility but no actual control it is difficult to come to terms with during the day let alone in the wee small hours. I hope it stops as time goes on but of course mums and grans never really stop worrying over DC and DGC and DGD too of course.

Havemercy,
As a mother of three, grandmother of four and fellow 'worry wort', I've had my fair share of fear and foreboding.

Unfortunately, our anxieties have a way of turning up in our dreams. As grandchildren multiply and grow up relatively unscathed, you eventually realize the futility of all that needless worry.

Keep in mind that the internet has a way of magnifying the frequency of the most dire incidents, as do the movies and television. It may ease your mind to know that in spite of all the alarmist news reports, the statistics are still in your favor.

That means that regardless of all the media hype, your grandchild's odds of averting foul play and living to a ripe old age are more likely than not. So, congratulations, be optimistic that everything is going to be OK and enjoy your beautiful, new grandchild!

My scary thing about the grandchildren was that they would somehow fall through a very high window or balcony. Think it must be tied into how helpless they are and totally dependent.

I think it's normal to worry like this.

My Granddaughter is ten but I still fret. She is used to it though. She knows that I worry too much about her and is really sweet about it.

Your feelings are very real. The relationship with a grandchild is a precious one and the desire to protect is overwhelming.

To coke - I changed my username after one post where I received some abuse which kept on coming. I contacted the Gransnet team who sorted it out for me straightaway.

I know how you feel. I don't have nightmares but live in constant fear of my son and son-in-law being "gay-bashed" or worse. They have been together 11 years and in a civil partnership for 8 years. Both have been attacked separately during this time. It really is a constant nightmare that I will receive a phone call that I won't want to hear. I phone and text them constantly just to say"hello" this is the only way I can check that they are both alright without them knowing that I am afraid for them.

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W11girl I am so sorry, a horrid worry for you. Your solution is brilliant.

What an awfully sad world we live in W11girl . If that is what you have to do for your own peace of mind, then so be it. You must be a lovely caring mum and mum in law.

Whilst brining my 3 small children up in Holland, I too had recurring nightmares that I lost my C. One was on a train, getting off to find one of my C still on the train as it left. Another, I would search and search for my lost C, in little villages, never finding them This nightmare has now come true as along with losing my two GC, I have also lost my two AC, all of which I loved with all of my heart and soul and did nothing to warrant this loss

Wow Yogagirl I am so sorry to hear that But I don't think it's connected to your dreams since I too had similar nightmares and nothing happened to mine

Thank you Inga I look back and see the nightmares as premonitions of my future life without my beloved Children

I hope, Havemercy, that you are helped by these reassurances.
I would add that it would be helpful to think about time, as it is unclear how old your GC is, and how long the nightmares have gone on for. I would give it all a few months, it would be normal for them to become less frequent, less intense and probably go by about a year.
It may also be helpful to confide in someone sensible & trusted.
If they persist, get worse, or interfere with your daily life, then it may be helpful to seek some counselling to help you understand what is going on.

Good luck

I guess we all can feel anxious about those we love, as I'm sure they do about us at times. Grandma60 my DD and family now live off grid in rural Spain and drive over here about twice a year in and old car so I recognise your concerns, and this after travelling around Europe & N Africa for a year in a motorhome.
Yet it was last summer when home for a family party my oldest DGS, then 9, fell from a swing in the garden and ended up having emergency neurosurgery in the middle of the night to save his life! The worst few days of our lives but he's done amazingly well since and last week his Dad did a 100k night cycle and raised £2,000 for the amazing Alder Hey Children's Hospital to whom we are so grateful.
I really try now not to worry about the 'what ifs' and just try and make the most of the times we can be together, especially as they're so close to my DS's little ones and there are lots of tears when they have to part.
Having said that my youngest DS and his girlfriend are off to Australia for 6 months in Decemebr and I keep reading about those spiders!!!

Welcome to grandparent-hood. I cannot believe I let my two kids run free and a little wild...without a scary thought about them...but my grandkids!! I continuously worry about cars, bad people,riding their bikes, what they eat, what they read,what their friends are like, are the friends parents ok!! It's continuous worrying. And it's all because we know more about the bad stuff than we used to. Kids are vulnerable yes.... but so much more able to cope than we think. Please.... try to enjoy your new status as a grandma... warn then , but don't scare them . Childhood is so short , let them go as slow with it as is possible, they slip away faster it seems than our kids did. My grandson is 10 and is growing away from cuddles.... my granddaughter is 5 so still needs one. But I know it goes too quickly for worrying about what MIGHT happen! Take a deep breath...dive in...and ENJOY!