SarahHellenWhiyney
Planned/unplanned I did not mention. I was simply responding to the OP and how one might avoid retirement problems.
A super-quick, easy dinner for Gdcs when you’ve all been out all day and they’re ‘starving’….
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Does your man annoy you or am I just easily irritated and disgruntled?
I gave up my job last year to be with him full time because he's finally retired. He gets on my nerves a lot though! I am quite willing to admit that's my problem and I'm quite an independent woman and we've probably benefited by not being together 24/7 until now. Having space between us because of work seemed to work better.
Most of the time we jog along really well together and I really don't mind going out and doing things alone. Our together time is becoming a bit predictable though.
We'll settle down in front of the TV together in the evening, having compromised on what to watch, so we'll view the same thing, and within five minutes he's fast asleep, snoring on the sofa. I could have watched what I wanted to watch because he sits down and seems unable to stay awake. I get miffed that I spend my evenings on my own while he sleeps through them.
It doesn't matter what has to be done around the house, every day he'll spend in the garden. He'll dead-head flowers and obsess about lawn edges when the list of jobs to be done is piling up. I spend my time doing other things, alone. (Household chores/tasks we tend to allocate, I do certain ones, he does others.)
I sometimes feel I might as well live alone and be completely selfish and do my own thing all the time without any compromise.
Oh we do enjoy times together too, but most of our days fall into these patterns.
I appreciate I am lucky, have someone to share things with occasionally etc, before I am reminded that some people, (like my sister and my best friend) have lost their husbands.
I am just wondering if this irritation is peculiar to me, and is it something that comes with old age? Am I just being contrary or unreasonable?
I know I can suggest we do things together, but he loves his gardening. It's a lifelong hobby for him, and it's one of the pleasures of retirement, being able to spend all day in the garden, pottering. I recognise that. I really don't want to demand he does less and stays awake in the evenings! That would be a match-sticks propping open the eyelids jobby! 
Anyone else getting irritated by their partners in retirement? (Could just be me!) 
I'm so worried about the looming retirement of us both! I work from home so spend a lot of my time doing my own thing and also have the sanctuary of my craft room which as I no longer craft has become my 'doing everything else' in place - computer/tv/nails/personal accounts etc. My husband is out 12 hours a day 4 days a week but on his day off he will just sit on the sofa either staring into space or asleep which drives me mad when I'm working (we have open plan so wherever I am he's usually only 12 feet away. I love him dearly but he has no hobbies, hates gardening, complains bitterly about every job he has to do in the house although he does eventually do them. He's very overweight and I worry about his health but he gets so self pitying if he's on a diet even if I've done it with him I've given up. We do have a laugh together and he's very generous and doesn't begrudge me anything and would give his last penny to me and our children but as we have no family or friends nearby we are totally on our own. The thought of him being home 24/7 is really scary but I realise I'm lucky to have him so try not to think about it too much. I'm sure I irritate him much more or just as much too!! 
So many of us are as one said, plodding along. I suspect we don't really want to upset our apple carts, and at this time in life we do have to adjust and compromise. I have my friends and get out and about and I am lucky to have space in our house too, so I can be alone if I want to be.
Right now, as I type this upstairs I can hear the TV blaring out downstairs. He'll sit there in his dressing gown watching utter crap, with adverts galore.
I shall leave him be, and close the door so I can read.
Thee alternative is his company in the house, or no company. Mind you, I think animals make brilliant companions!!
Devongirl, it took me ages to take the plunge and commit to my man. We haven't married but bought a house together a few ears ago. It's been hard! I love my own space and need it. However, as mentioned earlier, I ensured our house had a few reception rooms, so I have my own TV. We do share an interest in lots of TV programmes but he watches a lot of sport...and falls asleep in front of the TV frequently! He's asleep now as I type, gently snoring on the sofa! We've been out all day - I've done exactly the same amount of moving. I drove us too. We walked around for ages and now he's in need of a snooze. Nothing wrong with that but we did turn the TV on to catch up with a programme we both like and had recorded!
All I can say is, make plans to do things you like, and continue to do things alone. See you own friends as much as possible and join things. If you can, get a room you can escape to. There are times when you just need space or a place you can go where he isn't doing irritating stuff.
(His irritating stuff is perfectly normal stuff if all the posts are anything to go by. I just think I need to become super-tolerant of his ways or live on Valium for the rest of my life. I have been used to being alone and rowing my own boat. The problem of irritation is mine, not his. I am sure he finds my behaviour and the way I have to organise us annoying too, at times. he likes his peace. I suppose we all do.
Constant compromise is hard. Sometimes you have to say "I am doing this today/now" and just go and do it. It shouldn't be cause for argument or resentment but I suspect it could be occasionally.
Start with ground rules, start as you mean to go on, and definitely try and find a bolt hole indoors! You'll be fine, I am sure!
Thanks Day 6 I was really talking about some previous threads we have had, but as threads about threads are verboten I won't continue with that.
Just to add that DH is possibly hanging on by his whiskers after a dramatic and unforeseen decline in one of his health issues so all I would say is, value them while you can, nag, moan al you like, but LOVE them. Coming back to an empty house tonight I looked around and thought What is the point of it all if he is not here to share it.
Sorry to cast a damper on things, but this socked me right between the eyes. 
Yes, you are right Stansgran. Changes in behaviour do happen as we age and could be significant. My crabbiness regarding the man's habits is new found - mainly because we are together 24/7 now, in new circumstances after retiring. It's not a major thing, when all is said and done though.
The man could fall asleep on a clothes line, at any time of day, unfortunately! Nothing new there! Oh and when he goes to be, his head touches the pillow and he is fast asleep! How does he do it?
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