How do I explain ?

Tell them you don't want them to stick their hands down your cleavage - I'm surprised you've let it go on for so long!

I'm in the same position in that I've had a mastectomy and wear a prosthesis in my bra. You are entitled to set limits for your own privacy.

Tricky one, vafanculo. Perhaps just remove the hand from inside your clothing straight away and keep doing that. I don't think you need to 'explain' to small children but you can 'show' them that you don't want them to do that by stopping them when they do it.

x posts, ana. Same message.

I agree with*Ana*. Don't let them stick their hands down your cleavage! They need to know what is and what is not acceptable behaviour. They are probably very young, but even so, need to be taught the boundaries - in a nice way, of course.

Vafanculo
Interesting choice of name!

Re the hand down your cleavage, I think a firm but gentle "no" and removal of said hand. Also try distraction techniques.

Agree - why are they putting their hands down your cleavage? Not something to be encouraged , surely? You could always say " Nanny had an operation on her chest/ boob/ breasts/ whatever word you - use so you have to be careful" - they will accept that , you don't need to give them too much information.

What's wrong with 'Stop it. Don't do that!' ? No explanation or justification needed. Just no.
Contrary to some modern trains of thought, children are not damaged psychologically by hearing the word.

Absolutely agree mcem

I agree, regardless of your operation it's behaviour that needs discouraging straight away.
My mum had what she called her "falsie" when my children were under 10s she just told them "nannie had to have an operation and she wears this to make it better"

Cannot understand why you let them put their hands down your cleavage, not nice thing to allow children to do in any circumstance.
Simply stop them when they start to do it, remove their hands and say that's not allowed. They will soon learn.

I have the same situation but not the problem.
Apart from the 18 year old none of the others know and I certainly would not allow that kind of touching. If they get away with it ,how far do they expect it to go.
I realise we have all been quite harsh but this is not acceptable behaviour in any age child.

I had a mastectomy over 20 years ago and had to wear a prosthesis, it was uncomfortable, heavy and limited the clothes I could wear so 3 years later I had a reconstruction, now no-one would every know the difference. Problem solved.

I agree with the posters who say you should stop the children doing this - perhaps just say you had an operation and leave it at that.

It is important for children to learn that no one may touch their bodies if they don't want them to. It is reasonable for you to tell them, non-aggressively, that this is grandma's body and you don't like them poking around.

Excellent point absent. Emphasise that no-one should touch anyone else when they've been told not to.

I agree with the other posters and what absent said is a very good way of teaching them about no-one touching them if they do not want them to.

At one time all tops seemed to be very low and it was difficult to find tops with medium scoop necklines. M&S were culprits of this as their tops were either high necked (unflattering) or so low that they showed a cleavage - OK if you have one! But they had so many complaints I think they do have more choice now.

Try Nicola Jane for bras with camisole inserts, or you can buy inserts to stitch in yourself eg:
www.nicolajane.com/valerie-lace-camisole-mastectomy-bra-7002-white/

I hope this isn't advertising, or can be excused on this occasion.

As for explaining what they are feeling (after all, they might notice even from touching you or cuddling up to you without delving into your neckline.), I should ask the children's parents how they would like it explained.

I hate round necks, too - they look so glamourous on Princess Diana, or the models in the catalogues, but I feel strangled wearing them.

Perhaps little ones who are breast fed are more 'hands on' with breasts iyswim.

Not a reply, but a question. What made you choose THAT for a name???

I didn't get it so I just looked it up.


Is this 'one of those' threads?

I wondered that too, but am thinking it probably isn't. Tho who knows?

Although,..........

Makes a change from the usual school holiday poster, I suppose.