I`m not going to pass away

Passed away suggest they can come back.
In The Salvaion Army we say that someone has been 'Promoted to Glory'

It is a personal issue.no right or wrong way of saying it.Don't how ever go along with the term 'Popped their clogs' which I overheard one person use describing their late brother's demise.

I always wonder what they passed as in a game of "pass the parcel"

I think I might very well 'pass away' and I hope it is a gentle 'passing' preferably in my sleep.
If I 'pass away' before my loved ones I think that they may well feel a great 'loss'.

Hope you don't mind if I pinch your 'click & collect' phrase radicalnan. It describes my plans nicely.

I remember being startled when a colleague glumly told me 'I buried my Dad yesterday.' My first thought was 'how did he feel about that?' Then I realised what she meant but it seemed a very odd way of putting it.

Anniebach, I agree with you. It really does not matter what someone wants to call death. Yes you did lose your babies, yes you did lose your husband.

Of course it's a debate, everyone is entitled to their opinions, but let's have respect for those who do want to use those terms. Everyone can have their own beliefs.

If someone wants to say passed away, or that they have lost someone, please respect its just a word. Think about how the person must be feeling. My mother said, bring me flowers when I am alive, not when I am gone.

I don't think it really matters. If it gives comfort to someone then that's all that matters, isn't it.
But one does stand out in my mind, - A few years ago a friend phoned me to tell me that a mutual friend had died. But she shouted down the phone at me "Halleluia, she's gone to the Lord". I rather like that.

The hebrew word is "niftar" from a verb that means "take one's leave", which is a bit of a euphemism, but quite apt. Like "back to the pavilion", or "cash in one's chips".
And french use "décedé" deceased, for humans, "mort", dead, for animals

Hi Rascal, just wondered how you know for certain that when someone dies "they don't go anywhere else"? I agree with you that it's final for the body, but I think this world is far too mysterious for any of us to be so sure that there isn't some essence of us that continues. I'm not keen either on the phrase "passed away": I prefer " moved on to another dimension"!

Not to bother by passed away etc, but really want to slap someone when people talk about their dead pets as having 'passed over the rainbow bridge' Nor do I like any of those quotes along the lines of 'feathers appear when angels are near' !!

I too have been annoyed by this recently. I have even commented to my local radio about their use of 'passed' instead of 'died'.
I can go along with 'sorry for your loss', but not "I have lost XX".
If someone wants to use any term about their own bereavement, I will go along with it. It is the general reference I dislike.
When I die, I will be dead.

Dizzygran , my mum and dads friends talked about their lost son. He had gone travelling and was never seen again! He really was lost.

I think two basic tenets have arisen from this thread:

1. People can use whichever word or phrase that they want to use to say someone has died.

2. In appropriate circumstances like an online thread that is specifically started to talk about it, people can say which of the above irritates them.

That covers everyone's preferences except for those of the word police who want to restrict what others are allowed to say in case someone, somewhere, for no reason whatsoever except to whinge, decides to take offence. Those preferences are uncoverable because the goalposts keep being moved.

I think I'll just kick the bucket, pop my clogs, turn up my toes and be carried out of this house feet forward!

(no offence...)

x posts...

That's the spirit, ana

I did think about putting the dead parrot sketch on, but I decided I'd obviously upset enough people

Mariank you took my words I was just going to say I can't stand these 'fur babies going over the rainbow bridge' drives me nuts hearing that and on FB if someone mention their cat or dog dying you get reams of these sorry for you loss and rainbow bridges and special little fur babies ....they re animals special maybe but not babies and they don't go over rainbows
I don't like the 'fell asleep ' bit worse than passing or lost .....but like most on here I will die

I'm another one who prefers 'die' to 'pass away' and finds 'pass' by itself very annoying, but like others, that's what I would say and I wouldn't dream of telling someone who was going through it what to say. When my parents died and people referred to their having passed away I accepted the sympathy gratefully without commenting on the words used.

Recently a friend's father died at over 90 and after a spell of (happy and bizarre) dementia, and the only response I felt appropriate was 'sorry for your loss', as the death was peaceful and in the presence of family, and he was much missed. It didn't seem right to say that I was sorry that he had died, as he had not suffered and in a real sense his family had lost him to the dementia some time before.

The newspaper announcements of a stillbirth which say 'born sleeping' are understandable - anything which can bring any help to bereaved parents must be tried - even though I wouldn't use the term myself.

Once I've handed in my dinner pail I shan't give a euphemism how it's referred to

I'm going to have a posh funeral me, when I've died. I want all the mourners to mention that I've shuffled off my mortal coil. Nothing else will do.

Now I have visions of me as a little old lady muttering to herself as she bounces off into the distance encased in a spring.

Must admit, I loathe sanitised American phrases too. Are most afraid to embrace the word "die"? It doesn't really matter in the great scheme of things, but I do prefer plain speaking. We live, we die.

That's right thatbags, its not disrespectful to have a different opinion..
The rainbow bridge is a bit sickly BlueBelle, I do wonder if these things start out as an advertising gimmick.

I think thatbags has summed it up beautifully.

I suppose when we older folks talk flippantly of dying, maybe we forget that dying is something which unfortunately also happens to young, sometimes very young people, in which case the death is tragic beyond comprehension. Their loved ones are surely entitled to use whatever words bring them comfort.

Big hugs,and all my sympathy to those who have been so cruelly bereaved, and let's raise a glass to us old'uns who have been lucky enough to enjoy a good span before being disposed of in any such manner as would please us!