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I`m not going to pass away

(146 Posts)
eddiecat78 Wed 08-Mar-17 07:49:16

Perhaps I`d better explain that this rant was inspired by a news item which referred to someone "passing".
Why has this started? Do people really think that giving death a different name makes it any easier?

So I`d just like to make it known that I am going to die (hopefully not for a while). I am not going to pass away - or pass over. And I am definitely not going to pass

Galen Wed 08-Mar-17 17:53:21

Reminds me of when I reported a sudden death at our local police statio. The conversation went something like this:-
14 year old policeman, ' have you notified the doctor?'
Me 'I am the doctor'
Him what's the address?
I give it
Oh! That's in Walsall's jurisdiction but I'll phone it through
14 year old on phone ( very officious) the doctor pronounced life extinct !
Me ' no I didn't, I said he was dead, very dead!'

Jalima Wed 08-Mar-17 17:58:07

I think if 'passed away' brings some comfort rather than a stark 'died' then that is fine.
However, I don't like the term 'passed'.
Passed what - another vehicle?

I intend to 'kark it' and I hope not for a while yet.

Ana Wed 08-Mar-17 17:59:50

Oh yes, or 'snuff it', I'd forgotten that one!

Nelliemoser Wed 08-Mar-17 18:40:41

Galen grin

Nelliemoser Wed 08-Mar-17 18:47:27

Annsixy I don't like it either and particulately when news readers say "Passed" .

I don't think saying that you have "lost" a relative etc is quite the same. Because the person has died they are "lost" to you which is a more personal perspective of the situation.

Jane10 Wed 08-Mar-17 18:51:47

'Lost' is a scary concept for children though -" I'm sorry to say that we lost granma today".

karinu Wed 08-Mar-17 18:58:00

In France they say he/she was " lost" as a euphemism for dying - how bizarre is that?

bee63 Wed 08-Mar-17 19:10:07

Passed away sounds a lot less brutal imo.
It's nicer, more poetic.

'Oh she died' just sounds so final.

Christinefrance Wed 08-Mar-17 19:30:45

Sadly there us nothing more final than death bee63

Diddy1 Wed 08-Mar-17 19:32:08

Yes I am going to DIE sometime, hopefully not for a while.

phoenix Wed 08-Mar-17 19:39:58

On the subject of people "losing" someone, although I don't like that euphemism, I do fell that the phrase "I'm sorry for you loss" is often the better one to say, and to be on the receiving end of.

I agree to with the post regarding floral "tributes". I did wince / smile at "Gran" spelled out in purple and white adorning my mother's coffin last week!

She would have thought it the height of bad taste!

westieyaya Wed 08-Mar-17 20:44:48

The trouble is, when it's your nearest and dearest, it often sounds unfeeling to say my husband died 4 years ago. In general conversation I tend to say "when I lost my husband" but only talk about when Daddy died with our children. Passed is an Americanism, and always brings to mind table tapping and "is anyone there" Passed away is rather old fashioned for my liking .

Deedaa Wed 08-Mar-17 20:47:13

I don't mind the phrase "I'm sorry for your loss" Because I'm sure most people will feel a death as a loss.

My mother used to complain about people "passing away" fifty years ago, I can't imagine what she'd think if she knew people were still saying it. "Passing" would probably had her foaming at the mouth (and she wouldn't have wanted Gran or anything similar on her coffin!)

thatbags Wed 08-Mar-17 20:56:25

So, if I say "My dad died n years ago", it sounds unfeeling?

Rubbish! Anyone thinking so is making totally unfounded assumptions about my feelings and I'd be within my rights to resent that bitterly. It's utterly ridiculous to project your feelings onto others.

thatbags Wed 08-Mar-17 21:02:57

I think there's a growing tendency to suppose that if one doesn't, euphemisingly or otherwise, wear one's feelings on one's sleeve, so to speak, one is in some way lacking in decency or depth of feeling. That's rubbish as well.

Ana Wed 08-Mar-17 21:04:57

I tell people my husband is dead, or that he died two and a half years ago, depending on who's asking. Can't be doing with any other ways of saying it.

MissAdventure Wed 08-Mar-17 21:46:53

I'd like to 'break on through to the other side' smile

NanaRayna Wed 08-Mar-17 22:00:52

What about all those worrying gravestones which tell us some poor soul 'fell asleep'. Just makes me want to reach for an alarm clock!

Grandma2213 Thu 09-Mar-17 01:09:37

Although our family have always been 'matter of fact' about describing death or dying, when ringing a friend about a colleague's death recently I found myself saying 'passed away'. Maybe it depends on who you are talking to, what the appropriate vocabulary is.??

Not long ago DGC's Great Grandad died. As DS had to tell DGC he started with, 'You know Grandad has been very poorly, well I'm afraid you won't be seeing him again.' DGD aged 4 said, 'Oh you mean he's dead. That's sad.' and went off to carry on playing. The same child asked me recently, 'If God saved Jesus why didn't he save Nana E?' As a non Christian I had to say honestly, 'I don't know.' Children always seem to get down to the basics don't they?!

Hollycat Thu 09-Mar-17 02:52:06

I'm not going to die - I shall stay out of spite!grin

eddiecat78 Thu 09-Mar-17 08:03:31

We live very close to a graveyard and often walked through it when the children were little - obviously questions were asked. One day I explained that when people die their bodies are buried in the graveyard. Oh, said small son, where are their heads then?

vampirequeen Thu 09-Mar-17 12:21:50

I love euphemisms. It's not that, as a family, we can't face up to death but euphemisms soften the edges and if that helps with the grieving process or memories of the deceased then so be it.

When I lost my son I felt a genuine sense of loss. I was never going to get him back.

My dad passed away in the 1990s.

My mam has prepared for when she pops her clogs by buying a prepaid funeral and has even stipulated which hymns and music she wants. I don't think she trusts me. Perhaps it's because I suggested Fight the Good Fight (which she had at her wedding)and Roy Orbison singing It's Over as she slips through the curtains.

KirbyGirl Thu 09-Mar-17 20:57:35

I like 'pop your clogs ' too.

angelab Fri 10-Mar-17 13:18:30

I think I must be the only GNer who likes 'passed'! Somehow for me it leaves open the possibility that they have gone to another place, which may be better, and I like that idea, having no proof that it's not true..

gransruleok Sat 11-Mar-17 14:59:00

What about when people refer to "losing" someone. We always say "that's careless", although not within earshot of the bereaved of course.