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I`m not going to pass away

(146 Posts)
eddiecat78 Wed 08-Mar-17 07:49:16

Perhaps I`d better explain that this rant was inspired by a news item which referred to someone "passing".
Why has this started? Do people really think that giving death a different name makes it any easier?

So I`d just like to make it known that I am going to die (hopefully not for a while). I am not going to pass away - or pass over. And I am definitely not going to pass

Grannybags Wed 08-Mar-17 11:48:28

Well said thatbags Whatever words are used when someone dies it doesn't lessen the pain of that "loss"

Grannybags Wed 08-Mar-17 11:48:28

Well said thatbags Whatever words are used when someone dies it doesn't lessen the pain of that "loss"

Grannybags Wed 08-Mar-17 11:48:28

Well said thatbags Whatever words are used when someone dies it doesn't lessen the pain of that "loss"

Grannybags Wed 08-Mar-17 11:48:28

Well said thatbags Whatever words are used when someone dies it doesn't lessen the pain of that "loss"

Grannybags Wed 08-Mar-17 11:48:28

Well said thatbags Whatever words are used when someone dies it doesn't lessen the pain of that "loss"

Grannybags Wed 08-Mar-17 11:48:28

Well said thatbags Whatever words are used when someone dies it doesn't lessen the pain of that "loss"

Grannybags Wed 08-Mar-17 11:48:29

Well said thatbags Whatever words are used when someone dies it doesn't lessen the pain of that "loss"

Grannybags Wed 08-Mar-17 11:49:36

Sorry my laptop seems to have had a blip - I didn't mean to post all those!!!

Crazygrandma2 Wed 08-Mar-17 11:50:58

I absolutely prefer died/dead but understand that some prefer passed away. "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." I take my lead from the bereaved person as they are the one going through the hell of grief.

thatbags Wed 08-Mar-17 11:51:46

No, you are not unkind, ab, but possibly oversensitive about what was clearly a joke. Jokes in bad taste are allowed in a free society. And the one mentioned was not aimed at anyone. It's just an off the cuff remark on a suitable thread. This thread is not about anybody's death or bereavement.

Badenkate Wed 08-Mar-17 11:53:34

For goodness sake Anniebach how dare you imply that I would have the crass insensitivity to say anything like that to someone who was suffering from a bereavement! This was a thread about how people use euphemisms to avoid stating something bluntly and I'must sorry if those who have recently been in this situation - and my sympathies go out to them - are upset. But it'seems quite obvious from the start of the thread what it's about.

Can we not just 'say' something without the PC police picking us up. I notice you're not so sensitive in other things with other people's feelings.

Anniebach Wed 08-Mar-17 12:04:26

BadenKate, you thought it and you said it here , are there no bereaved people on this forum? Do yes I dare to say it was unkind because people do suffer great loss

sunseeker Wed 08-Mar-17 12:06:17

If you want to say someone has died, that's fine - if someone else chooses to say someone has passed away, that's fine too. Why get annoyed/upset/angry over what term someone uses? It doesn't matter a jot to me how someone expresses their grief - my only concern would be how I could comfort them.

Anniebach Wed 08-Mar-17 12:09:33

.thatbags, this thread is about everyone's death and bereavement , everyone dies and many are bereaved , nothing to do with being PC, in fact come to think of it, perhaps it is being PC that causes some to complain about passed away not died

joyjoy Wed 08-Mar-17 12:09:45

Of course people should use whatever term works for them. The one I dislike though is "fell asleep". I think it is better to differentiate between the temporary and the permanent and I know children for whom this term has caused upsetting fears thinking they may fall asleep and never wake up

eddiecat78 Wed 08-Mar-17 12:17:16

Gosh - I wish I hadn`t started this now. Are we not allowed to say what annoys us without being attacked? Of course everyone should describe death in whatever way they feel most comfortable - I`ll just restrict myself to shouting at the tele in the privacy of my own home from now on
Incidentally there are lots of other things in life that annoy me - but I won`t be sharing any of them either!

Badenkate Wed 08-Mar-17 12:21:33

As someone on another thread has pointed out, this is not a face to face discussion between friends. This is a chat forum for people who have some trivial connection -in this case generally age and grandchildren. The comment I made was the thought that comes into my head and I look at my DH and know that he has had the same thought. No, I didn't sit and consider those on here who have had loved ones who have died - but that's all of us at some point or other. And on a thread which is specifically about someone's sadness then of course the only response is consideration for their feelings in whatever way they wish to express them. This was not what this thread was about! It was specifically about terms used for death. And if you were in a situation where this was likely to upset you, I really fail to understand why you would want to read it.
So no, I'm not going to apologise for my, quite possibly, strange sense of humour

Riverwalk Wed 08-Mar-17 12:22:01

The OP clearly stated that it was in relation to a news item using the word 'passing'.

Previously, it would have been reported that someone has died which is much more factual - it is news, not a conversation with a friend or neighbour who has just been bereaved.

Badenkate Wed 08-Mar-17 12:24:02

Go on eddiecat, let's know what else annoys you.

Anniebach Wed 08-Mar-17 12:25:14

I have never heard a death announced in the news as passing. It is used in history programmes, with the passing of King X, but not as an announcement of a death on the news

Mauriherb Wed 08-Mar-17 12:26:09

My dad died last year aged 95 so he'd had a good long life. Many people said they were sorry that I'd lost him, I would smile and say thank you but I wanted to say " he died, I didn't accidentally leave him somewhere " . I know they were being kind but it sort of insinuated that it was my fault lol

Galena Wed 08-Mar-17 12:34:53

I loathe euphemisms for death. My mother's side of the family were big on them, and hadwhat I consider to be an unhealthy attitude to death, not letting children go to grandparents funerals and refusing to speak about the person who had died.

A phrase that makes me want to vomit is "earned their angel wings". Just no. But then I do feel that the British attitude to death and mourning in general is weird. I'm hugely practical and have had robust discussions about my death, funeral, and wishes relating to them.

Shortlegs Wed 08-Mar-17 12:45:58

I plan to live forever (so far, so good).

Rosina Wed 08-Mar-17 12:56:23

I read some books set in Botswana and was impressed by the seeming gentleness and courtesy of life there. Evidently the term used is 'Late'. That seemed a dignified expression for one who had died, but in any event however you dress it up, any word is going to be painful to the bereaved.

Legs55 Wed 08-Mar-17 13:11:03

I too prefer died which is what I said to people when my DH died. He would always say of some-one who had died that "they were playing for the whites" but then again he was a football fan. He would not have said that to any-one outside of the family. Saying I had lost my DH would have amused me as it implies "waylaid" which I had not & it would have caused me amusement too, sorry it's my sense of humour.

As for flowers, my preference would be for a nice wreath, not one spelling "Mum" or anything else. Each to their own.