Christmas as a "young mum" - do you miss it?

I'm very grateful to DaphneBroon for starting this thread. I read the OP and got to the bit about the turkey farm and my brain went 'Eeeeeeeeek! Someone is supposed to have collected the turkey and other meats an hour ago!'

Cue mad dash to shop, 20 miles away, for dh while I phoned them and asked them to pleeeeease keep my order!

Miss it? Trying to buy presents out of the meagre housekeeping money, doing ALL the shopping, wrapping of presents, getting up with kids at 5am while husband slept. Being told Christmas was a waste of money by husband who took no part whatsoever. Doing ALL the cooking and washing up then taking kids out for a cold wet walk (no TV) No chance to speak to my family far away (no telephone) Having to keep kids quiet so their drunken father wouldn't lose his temper and throw out their new toys or lash out at us.
No, I try hard not to think about it. I spend Christmas now with darling children and grandchildren, very happy and very far from ex husband.

Glad to be of service Suedonim!!

Waiting here for DH to return from Heathrow where he is fetching our DD3, her husband and baby, i have enjoyed reading through this thread.

Our past Christmases were similar to many described here: last minute wrapping of presents, waiting for 4 kids to fall asleep so we could fill the homemade stockings with their initials engraved on the front, remembering to eat up the mince pie, drink the sherry, and crunch on the carrot for Rudolph left for Santa , so as not to raise suspicion from our offspring.Reading The Night Before Christmas" was a ritual, now repeated by our children with their children,

Four children at the foot of our bed with their stockings on Christmas morning convinced us to trade in our original 4ft6 to a Kingsize once No 4 was past the baby stage.

I do miss those times, but I am content to move on, let our children now develop their own family memories and share these when we can.

I think what makes me happy, proud even, is to see DD continuing traditions which formed part of her childhood, of course with her own twists. I am perhaps flattering myself but nobody teaches you Christmas traditions, you absorb them, adapt and continue them. That is what mother/daughter relationships are about isn't it?
So while I may have been too tired to appreciate the magic of our Christmases when the girls were small, I think I can see their echo 30+ years on now she has her own family.
Getting sentimental, must be Christmas!!

Agree it's lovely to look back at the way we were when the kids were young and makes me quite nostalgic remembering. Christmas Eve morning was always when husband took our sons out to get the shopping in - all the veg and last minute forgotten items. All bought from the local shops - no big supermarkets back then. While they were out I filled up the bowls on the coffee table with nuts and sweets and as they grew older I would bring the presents down and put them under the tree. Christmas morning was often a case of us trying to wake them up as we were invariably up and awake before them! My eldest son continued this tradition with his daughters until they grew too old - now my youngest son has small children in NZ the photos he's sent today are of them on the beach having elf training - rather different way of life

Good to hear you have happy Christmases now Watermeadow & also managed to create good ones for your kids despite your sad circumstances in the past ?X

Still lucky enough to spend Christmas eve and day with divas 1& 2 - tinged with a little sadness because they are from'fragmented' families.... However we are so thrilled to have them both with us - we just enjoy every moment! Also, this year my mum - who has dementia - and my brother - who lives overseas and we don't see very often - will be with us also on Christmas Day! I am indeed blessed

Christmases as a young mum were very stressful for me because I had hyper critical in-laws and a domineering mum who used to stay over Christmas. Recently I asked my sons how they remembered Christmas and to my delight they all said it had been a magical time for them and they had loved gran coming to stay. - Well, that really made all my stress, gritted teeth, keeping it zipped etc., so worth it.

DB, you are right about Christmas traditions going down the generations.

When DF came back from WW2, he introduced a more structured Christmas with special traditions and times for stockings, presents etc. It added an extra dimension of excitement to Christmas day. These traditions were the ones he had grown up with. His father was a career soldier and so was he and we never knew from one Christmas to the next where in the world we would be, but no matter where we were, the Christmas day procedure was cast in iron. It helped to build our sense of family and tradition in a very mobile life

I brought all these traditions into my Christmases, obviously with gradual changes for a different time and different lives. MY DD spends every Christmas with us and is adamant that the main traditions are still stuck to. DGC are with us every other Christmas and I often wonder whether any of my traditions will carry on with them. I am unlikely to ever know.

We always went into the hospital on Christmas Day while the goose cooked. The children served the dinner to the patients who weren't fit enough to be sent home. DH always bought a turkey and persuaded the kitchens to cook it and carved it on the ward. He hated the reheated slabs of damp turkey meat the management thought fit to give patients. He always sent a registrar out to buy a proper tree again after it was decreed it was a waste of money to decorate the ward for patients.

I miss the extended family staying but now they are all either dead or too old

I agree, happy days. And some wrinkles passed on through the generations, such as having 2 Christmas stockings per youngster - one to pin to the bed 'for Santa' - the other to have filled beforehand with all the rustly little gifts (and a tangerine in the toe) so that it was a quick and (relatively) easy job to do the SAS night crawl and substitute one for the other. I did love it all, but I do enjoy not spending Christmas Day and Boxing Day in a haze of exhaustion...

I don't think much has changed , I'm sleeping over at my grandchildrens house this year , then cooking the dinner tomorrow . It'll be lively , noisy , too much food, and lots of mess ! Lots of work and secrets , too much money spent , then all over in a flash !Exhausted old Mum and Granny rolled into one ! I will love it !
Damn , I've just dropped a pint of cream on my kitchen floor !
Merry Christmas x x

In a word, yes.
Christmas with children was a joy (not sure it would be now, thinking of i-pads, i-phones etc). Consolation this year, tho' as Sis,Bil and dog are here.

I particularly remember the Christmas Day when my oven broke down. There were 8 of us for Christmas dinner. My kind next door neighbour let us share hers -thank you Gill. Tonight and tomorrow we are 14 here but DD1 and SIL2 are cooking thank goodness. This will be the last big Christmas here so feeling quite nostalgic. Wishing all Gransnetters a Happy Christmas and Peaceful 2017.

Yes I do I have very happy memories of Christmas when my children were younger it was busy and sometimes stressful but I wish I'd known then how much I'd miss them now sitting in bed watching a film on Christmas eve morning instead of battling my way around a supermarket or doing housework happy days

YES! I miss being the big cheese and being able to orchestrate my kids happiness on the day.

There is a flat sort of magic in a Christmas without little kids, but there is that moment when the world does sort of stand still and in that moment, all the other mums and dads are doing that same stuff. I salute them. Nothing like arranging as much happiness as possible for those closest to you.

I loathe the commercialism of it all now but we can opt out of that if we choose to and I have.

Best wishes to you all for the loveliest of Christmas...........

I never was a young Mum with children at Christmas. I had my first child at 43 and she's an incredibly excitable 11 year old now. Woken up this morning with a seranade of Santa's coming to town ? love it xxxx

Enjoyed it at the time, but now I'm so happy that I don't have to hang decorations, have a tree and cope with excited children.
This year, as last year, walk with DH and dogs. Home made pasty while we're out (weather permitting), roast chicken and some very good wine for supper then catch up on Christmas University Challenge!

Lovely memories of our children at Xmas. They both had bikes one year and were out on them really early in the morning. My h paid off through the year for the bikes every Friday night on his way home from work he would pop in the local bike shop and pay a weekly instalment. Now my gd loves Xmas and we see it through her eyes even though she is 16. Lost my son 9years ago and at first it was so hard for us to go on especially that time of year with all the memories it brings but he loved Xmas and so does he's d.
Have a lovely Xmas all of you have enjoyed reading your stories hope it's a happy and peaceful new year for you all too.

I may be 70 next year but I am still doing it all.

2 adult children and families coming Christmas Day. The other and family coming Boxing Day.

Luckily, I like to be busy and will be putting final touches to a couple of presents this evening. So nothing changes.

One tradition I have brought from my childhood and which my children have taken to their kids is Mr New Year. Mr New Year leaves a small gift at the bottom of the bed. It draws an end to the Celebration in a gentle way.

When my two children were little I was a full time teacher and never had time to prepare properly. Every year late on Christmas Eve I would be found locked into my en suite with all the presents wrapping them surreptitiously with bits of Sellotape stuck all around the edge of the tiny hand wash basin.

I also had to wrap presents for my DH whose birthday was on the 27th December. Despite knowing what I was up to and being told to keep the kids away he barged in one year and I only just had time to hide his pressie behind the shower curtain. Doh!

Happy days! Still, just as nice now but in another way.

Yes I miss it, it's just not the same without children in the house..Yesterday we were invited to spend this afternoon(Christmas Eve) bowling with our son and young family.
Just recovering from having a new knee and feeling old at seventy eight I politely
declined. On waking up this morning I've changed my mind so this afternoon we are off bowling. Well it is Christmas and it will be fun.

Yes. I miss Christmas time when my children were young. Both lots of grand parents came to dinner. There was the excitement of planning - buying the food and presents. Putting up the Christmas tree. The carol services and nativities. The growing excitement of the children.
Christmas day was the joy of the family being together and having a good time.
HAPPY MEMORIES
Although I am a grand mother now and there is usually a family gathering over the holidya period, it is not the same and I do not have the same energy or enthusiasm. It now seems so commercial and expensive.