sharing chores

GrandmaMoira - downsize now!

Your sons are all adults and you're not responsible for them any more. They're taking advantage of you.

I'm with Granny piper. Ex military and shamelessly love doing the housework. My latest other half does the old fashioned man's work like keeping the car roadworthy and big diy jobs that I don't and refuse to have the skills for. Ive probably let the female side down but hey ho it suits us/me..

GrandmaMoira Think your family should be helping much more, I agree with Monica, make a stand now and think of yourself. Adult children do tend to assume parents will continue to look after them so a little chat is in order. Time for you to be looked after for a change.

Ana,Christine and Monica - Thank you for your comments. I don't do their washing. I prefer to cook as when they cook they don't clear up so I have to clear the mess so I can use the kitchen. Only one of them contributes financially. Nothing I say makes a difference. My brother is not aware of how little they do but has offered to have words that they should leave home but I said no.
I hope to be able to refurbish the house before selling up as it makes a lot of difference to the price or else I would sell now. I have some rooms done but more needs to be done.

Cherrytree59 I laughed at your training session oneach chore - but what a good idea.
grannypiper I am in awe of your excellent standards .

Both of my ex husbands were spoilt by their mothers as regards doing chores and in my first marriage I had a young child, full time work each day - then I cleaned an hour and a half each day right through plus cooking from scratch, ironing, feeding and bathing DS. I cringe now. I was exhausted.
I too grew up in a mining community but my grandfather did loads of chores as he worked shifts so was at home during the day - and my grandmother worked full time. He did most of the cooking too. His mother was a WWI widow and I think having three sons, they were taught to do chores.

When asked what's on the TV, I just reply dust!

GrammaH no joke. Strangely enough all 3 of my children live in pigstyes they all hate tidy houses !

Kittylester. We all have different standards of course. Yours and mine are obviously poles apart.I often find that those who say they have better things to do than clean are just not into cleaning, if that is the case that's fine. I also lead a madly busy life, full time work, carer for DH, not to mention all sorts of other things I am dealing with at the moment. Until last year I worked two jobs as well as all this, but I still did the same amount of cleaning. I simply could not relax in a dirty house.

Dirt is good for your immune system. I clean things that need to be cleaned and ignore the rest. As someone famous once said, 'I hate housework. You spend hours doing it and six months later, it needs doing Gain.'

Or even again. See, I'm too lazy to type correctly.

I couldn't relax in a dirty house either Shanma so it's a good job mine isn't!

Dont get me wrong DH can do housework and can even cook(ish) well you would get a meal but all parts wouldnt be ready at the same time, he does make the bed every day but i always re do it. Its not him but me ! he cooked and cleaned after my hysterectomy but after a week i was climbing the walls and shooed him out of the kitchen.

I don't think I've ever used the word 'chores' in my life but am obviously in the minority.

I call it 'housework' and the only thing DH did in that regard was clean the kitchen floor once in a blue moon. Now he's gone, I have to do it myself, shock horror!

I would like to say that we share things 50/50 but to be honest it is 60/40 with me doing the 40%.

I have never had a lot of energy, under active thyroid and Polymyalgia, but even if I was fighting fit I would still be what DH fondly calls me 'a lady of leisure'. On the rare occasions he goes away I do even less. I love reading, watching box sets, meeting my friends, going to the cinema.

When I take my last few breaths I won't be saying 'I wish I had done more housework'

P.S. I do keep the kitchen tidy and clean.

I do most of the housework including cooking cleaning washing up and ironing, but DH does the vacuuming which I hate. He points out, quite rightly that he also does virtually all the gardning, DIY, checks the cars weekly and keeps them very clean and puts the bins out- also household accounts, so I think it's fairly even really! He is also very clean and tidy (more than me). I try to keep it tidy and do the usual wiping of kitchen surfaces etc, but dont often do a thorough clean. Now i try to do the upstairs one week and downstairs the next -fairly quickly (unless visitors are coming!) as it really doesn't get very dirty with just the two of us. So it's tidy but doesn't bear close inspection. I dread to think what Grannypiper would think of my slapdash standards!

I'm amazed at the amount of housework some previous posters do. I live alone and I can't remember the last time I got the vacuum out - at least a few weeks ago. And no, my house isn't dirty. I wipe up after cooking and clean the important parts in the bathroom when they need doing.

We share most things...I do cooking washing and ironing...he does all else....including shopping...he had a bad accident on Friday tripped over the dog got 12 stitches...2 black eyes.. nose fracture ....not in great shape... today he booked a cleaner to comeI and do his bits ....a true gent

I'm more or less with you Maggiemaybe. We don't stress over cleaning the house - it's our house and we live in it so why stress? If someone is coming for dinner then we do a reasonable cleaning job. Otherwise it's clean the worktop before (and sometimes during and after) cooking, clean the loos and sinks daily and anything else when we feel like it (not often). I do the cooking and washing, he does the garden and we share the cleaning.
I think mine is a reaction to my own Mum who cleaned every room in the house once a week. One room every day got cleaned to within an inch of it's life, including dusting, vacuuming, washing down all the paintwork, and cleaning the windows (inside and out). It always seemed to me a complete waste of time for 3 weeks out of 4! I swore never to do the same and I haven't.

Granmamoria, stop being a slave to your boys. First divide all the bills in the house 3 ways so each pays a share. Stop cooking for them, washing etc. And start the process of downsizing NOW. They have a cushy life with no responsibilities with you, time they went out into the wide world. A bit of tough love is needed.

Ana your post reminded me that my ex husband washed up on boxing day 1969.

Nope your not on your own Anna I've never used the word chores. It sounds very American. Not that I've got anything against Americans it's just that I'm not one.

'chores' is in pretty common usage in my experience.
When we were children my Dad used to talk of them as 'fatigue duties'. I suppose that was a term left over from his time in the army in WW2.

We started out sharing chores but over the years his managed to do less and less. I took a poll with relatives about ironing and turned out I was the only one doing partners.
so now his goes to an ironing company and I slip in the duvets as they do a brilliant job.
Also as my husband worked away a lot I got a gardner to do the weeding mainly as cutting the grass is the easy job (originally his).
my best chore is taking the dogs for a walk and we frequently get lost in the woods ?
Housework will always be there, learn to chill ?

The word chore comes from the now obsolete chare or char, as in charwoman, according to my good friend Mr Google.

I do use the word, just don't do the chores