Any one with a perfect husband?

I wonder if this all says something about the way boys are brought up and the expectations put on them ?

All husbands should have, from day one, a copy of this Ogden Nash poem and be made to repeat it at regular intervals:

"For married life to be brimming
With love from the loving cup,
When you're in the wrong, admit it.
When you're in the right, SHUT UP!"

Now that would be perfect!

I think this Pam Ayres' poem sums up what a lot of us are saying!

You know this world is complicated, imperfect and oppressed
And it’s not hard to feel timid, apprehensive and depressed.
It seems that all around us tides of questions ebb and flow
And people want solutions but they don’t know where to go.

Opinions abound but who is wrong and who is right.
People need a prophet, a diffuser of the light.
Someone they can turn to as the crises rage and swirl.
Someone with the remedy, the wisdom, and the pearl.

Well . . . they should have asked my ‘usband, he’d have told’em then and there.
His thoughts on immigration, teenage mothers, Tony Blair,
The future of the monarchy, house prices in the south
The wait for hip replacements, BSE and foot and mouth.

Yes . . . they should have asked my husband he can sort out any mess
He can rejuvenate the railways he can cure the NHS
So any little niggle, anything you want to know
Just run it past my husband, wind him up and let him go.

Congestion on the motorways, free holidays for thugs
The damage to the ozone layer, refugees and drugs.
These may defeat the brain of any politician bloke
But present it to my husband and he’ll solve it at a stroke.

He’ll clarify the situation; he will make it crystal clear
You’ll feel the glazing of your eyeballs, and the bending of your ear.
Corruption at the top, he’s an authority on that
And the Mafia, Gadafia and Yasser Arafat.

Upon these areas he brings his intellect to shine
In a great compelling voice that’s twice as loud as yours or mine.
I often wonder what it must be like to be so strong,
Infallible, articulate, self-confident …… and wrong.

When it comes to tolerance – he hasn’t got a lot
Joyriders should be guillotined and muggers should be shot.
The sound of his own voice becomes like music to his ears
And he hasn’t got an inkling that he’s boring us to tears.

My friends don’t call so often, they have busy lives I know
But its not everyday you want to hear a windbag suck and blow.
Encyclopaedias, on them we never have to call
Why clutter up the bookshelf when my husband knows it all!

She has got it spot on!

greyduster your sat nav story made me laugh a lot, though not funny at the time probably.
More disagreements between us when I'm map reading than I care to remember. The sat nav has improved things, it's her fault now.
I'm enjoying this thread, I'm not on my own in the dog house.

greyduster & Nana3 had to laugh, I can map read but now on my own have to use SatNav - it will insist on sending me the wrong when I know where I'm going from home - luckily it normally catches up once I've reached A Road. Late DH used to drive me nuts when I was driving he would give me instructions, I would usually stop the car & ask him if he wanted to walk instead !!!!

My Step-Son is worst person I know for always being right, when DH was in Hospital SS knew better than all the Medical Professionals!!!! We are no longer in contact

No annesixty my was not for your post and I apologise if you thought it was.
It was because my husband is far from perfect and I just didn't know where to start with my post! It was unfortunate that it came straight after yours.

Yes my husband considers himself perfect- he is very d-i-y and practical and likes everything just so. He is also a "perfect" driver - everyone else is a complete idiot on the road including me! He likes to take over because I don't do things to his standards - he is quite difficult to live with sometimes although we have been married 44 years!

Certainly not just you ... if your husband is like mine he will find a way to blame you ... might take him a while to come up with how he came to that conclusion. My DH is not perfect but 99% of the time there is some justification for the error of his ways and 99% of that time it's down to something I did/said

Mine is far from perfect- but I can tell you that I would never swap him :-)

Surely he could get the flex repaired rather than buy a new set! My DH has cut the flex on the hedge trimmers (and to the Sky box on one occasion!) on several occasions and took them to our local garden equipment shop for repair.

Mine is never wrong because he never makes decisions, deals with money or takes the lead in any part of our life together, despite me wishing he would. He drives me nuts at times because it can be like dealing with a child and it's draining always being the one 'in control' but it seems it's to do with his childhood and it's just how he is. He's def got worse as he's aged. It's a good job my confidence has grown as I've got older and I am able to deal with everything and take the risks in life or no decisions would ever be taken and nothing would ever get done!

My aged aunt told me that men only got married so they had someone to blame- she was a spinster until she was 72!

DeaDomesticus .... I knew there was a reason he wanted to be with me !

Im not alone then! whenever I do things I try to do them so that he wont find fault, but there is always a twist, guess who is always in the wrong!

Oh yes...... I am blamed for always being right. Unfortunately my DH occasionally makes sweeping statements that are incorrect. Most of the time I ignore - but sometimes I cannot hold my tongue and point out that he is incorrect - I get no apology or acknowledgement - just a load of abuse - you just have to be right don't you -really hard to just take it. I try to remember that I am confident in my assertion and that it really doesn't matter what he thinks. Difficult to do - but it keeps my sanity. It seems to be a male thing - I make mistakes and acknowledge and apologise - no so him.

Reading the above comments it would seem that I am not alone...

Mine is stubborn, self righteous and a master of sarcasm but he is also kind, knows how to make a genuine apology and makes me laugh...life without him would be dull!

Thanks everyone, todays forum has been the best ever, so many of us not alone with our "perfect" Husbands.

Gagagran enjoyed the Pam Ayres poem!

My husband is the perfect procrastinator!

So I get grief for trying to keep deadlines met, etc. In the end, he says to all... nothing would get done without the Mrs.

Not sure whether to feel put upon or complimented.

Diddy1 -- HMPH

My brother is Mr perfect....very opiniated and talks over you ...I just say ..yes and agree with him and be thankful I don't have to live with him.....bought him a badge once saying "everyone is entitled to my opinion"..
My OH is like the character in Harry Enfield sketches...".you don't want to do it like that"
I am always wrong ..till I am proven right...I am magnanimous in my victory...I don't utter a word...CBA...

I have howled out loud at the Pam Ayres poem Gagagran!! My perfect specimen is sitting with me and wants to know what I am laughing at. He is watching the news just to see if his predictions were right!
This post has done me good x

Downtoearth, I know a few that the badge would suit very well. Oh this has made me laugh!

Lilyflower your reference to 'body every self' brought back to me a silly little ditty that my mother learned from her aunt:

Who the damn Sam think you am?
Think your body every self.
Go and pick on someone your own big enough
And then ajolopise

Sorry, off topic. As you were

kooklafen I'm married to a supermarket bag packer and when the shopping gets home a fridge and cupboard filler

All since he retired last April.
Before April I'm struggling to remember who did it for the last 35years??