Soop's Friendly Kitcheners and well behaved pets.

My knee has suddenly got painful when I go up or downstairs. I did chip the kneecap in an accident fifty years ago but this is more like a muscle pain. Do you think it will cure itself?? I've already got a frozen shoulder so I'm hoping this knee thing is temporary but I know GNers have dodged knees, like Annsixty. There's always something wrong now that I'm an old biddy of 66

Dodgey!

number Galen's suggestion makes good sense. It wouldn't hurt to ask. You are in my thoughts.

wot The best advice that I can give you is... go to talk things over with your GP. An X-ray will almost certainly identify the type of problem that you're experiencing with your knee. The chipped kneecap could be to blame. As if you've not enough to deal with at the moment. A frozen shoulder is awfully painful. I had a cortisone injection in my shoulder. Within hours I was pain-free, and have remained so.

Thanks Soop! I know my troubles pale into insignificance compared to other GNers and I do send them all the best wishes. I bought Sophie dog a magnificent bed today but she won't go on it which also cheesed me off haha! Prefers MY bed.

wot you have a long way to go to catch up with me as you are only a nipper at 66.
If you get x-Ray's done and it shows severe arthritis, do not hesitate to go on the list for surgery. I am now 7 weeks post op. I no longer use crutches or even my walking stick but best of all I no longer have the terrible pain I had for months. I saw the physio yesterday and he doesn't want to see me again although I can see him if I want to.

Just wondering what other kitcheners think. My sister is 10 years older than me, 86, and lives 3 houses from DH and me. Over the last 7 years I have nursed her through 3 major operations, a broken wrist and last year a broken hip. She has multiple health issues and I have arranged as many home aids as possible, care call, home help, physiotherapist, and a carers. The carer comes in daily to help her wash and dress She cooks herself a small meal daily, she does enjoy her food, but I will do it if she is not feeling well. Everything else that is needed then it is "my sister will do it for me". Unfortunately she forgets that her sister is getting older, 76, and I am finding it harder now. DH is marvellous ferrying her to multiple hospital and doctor appointments and dealing with any problems with the house, he says it is like trying to run two homes. We think now that more help is needed, more full time care. She is getting much worse completely doubled up now with arthritis and is unable to stand upright even with a frame. she is against having any more help and says "we can manage", it's the WE that worries me as to how much more we will have to take on. Without being morbid I wonder sometimes how much longer DH who is 80 will have together and I would like us to enjoy it without being worried all the time.
DH and I are having a break next week taking the dogs to Norfolk for a week and DD2 will be in charge, she will be very firm with her. My question is do you think I should be firmer with her and insist that she has more help or stand back and let her see that she can't manage on her own. Sometimes I think a smaller home would be better for her though I know she would never consider that. Sorry for going on but I do get down about it sometimes and it helps getting it off.

I do think that at her age it will be very hard to persuade her to move to something smaller. It would be traumatic for her unless it was a nursing home which I guess she is not ready for. You will have to be very firm and insist she has more help in. You and your H cannot carry on . It is not fair to you. You will have to feign ill health and let her realise she cannot manage.

I think you have to be honest with her and say that neither you not DH nor she are as young as you used to be and she really must get more help. Remind her that you and DH may need to be helped with things soon, too - threescore years and ten and all that.

The three of you decide exactly what you and DH can do and what is getting to be too much, and plan where she can get extra support. Can you draft in her doctor to back you up - or your or DH's doctor to say that you need a rest?

If you just leave her to find out that she can't manage, there could be an emergency, and you would feel very bad about abandoning her.

I agree wholeheartedly with annsixty you cannot continue as at present, she will end up making yourself and DH ill with all of the extra work. She must find out herself that she cannot cope. As you said, you have your lives to lead.

Millymouge old age is indeed "not for softies" . We forget that the simple fact of someone being ten years younger may not equate to being in their first flush of youth. I suspect your sister has always thought of you as her "little sister" and "younger" in every sense of the word.

You need to have this conversation. Perhaps your DD will find it possible to prepare the way by saying how worried she is sometimes about you and DH not being able to do as much as you used to. A bit of auto suggestion?
A sad situation for you to be in though. I hope your holiday is a relaxing and refreshing break - you have more than earned it!

Goodness, I've been away for a day and such a lot to read. Apologies in advance, brevity was never a strong point and there's so much to acknowledge.

I'm also thinking that space to share the sort of things that are here today shows just how important the kitchen is. So for everyone and two bunches for soop.

I read your post and felt so sad, milly, we live in a retirement development and see so many neighbours sinking under the weight of care for others, also family members struggling with care for other neighbours. . Such good advice here , please don't feel guilty, you are important and if you dont t care for yourself you can't care for your sister. Realism is vital.

I was struck by how well you are recovering ann, so pleased. Would be even more pleased if you see your GP wot, please don't ignore this pain. A caring consultant once told me to always listen to pain. It's trying to tell us something.

Loving all the animal images, old goat boggit looks superb. Beautiful cat - and this from one who is a dog person . Your lovely dog sounds to be a burr magnet, jud. Probably had fun in the process, though

number, I felt sad but also angry towards the system on your behalf reading your post. Galen's suggestion is surely worth pursuing. Please don't assume there will be a 'no', certainly worth asking. I can only reiterate others thoughtful responses, it's really not possible for your husband to be nursed at home without a care package in place. Neighbours here have had one in place in 48 hours (Somerset), I would hope it could be the same for you both. Can only imagine how difficult to listen to your husband ask these things and not have the right support to make it happen.

Can understand your desire for a safe place just to rest in, loopy, heck of a lot in your plate. Takes me back to the beginning of this post, the kitchen is important, yes it's virtual but it can be whatever is needed in a moment. I so hope the pressure reduces soon, take care

apologies if I have missed anything, wouldn't ignore anyone deliberately.

Oh, just remembered. nellie, why can't we have a virtual grans soft play? Be fun and no chance of broken bones. .

Love it!

Numberplease Galens suggestion about getting him to see the cat may not be impossible.

The ITU where my daughter works organised a visit by a patients dog as she was very worried about him and had not seen him for a few weeks. The patient was about ready to leave the ITU and the nurse in charge moved the patient out to a separate room and a relative smuggled the dog in in a bag. That sounds like a good way to make someone feel a lot better. Bugger the "rules".

I do not see it as a problem, there are ways around it and I hope that it is done soon so that Mr.Numberplease feels a bit happier after seeing Mia. I am sure that she will be delighted to see him also.

May I also put in my pennyworth about the care package being in place before he goes home? Life will be difficult enough without as much support as possible. You have to look after yourself also.

Not a problem on the scale everyone else has but can someone help with my OH?

He is standing in the workshop talking to me, whilst polishing something on his jumper.

He has piles of polishing cloths, he also has a selection of overshirts to put on to protect his clothes.

When I complained he moved out of my line of sight!

Good morning Kitcheners !

I hope your knee is not so painful this morning wot . Bad knees are one of the reasons we would like to move so I feel your pain.

Milly I'm amazed you're still standing !!! What a lot you do and where do you figure in this list of care and support? I'm going to be a little blunt and think as long as you keep doing this your sister will keep taking. I'm sure she is aware as you of the effort it costs you but also must be a little afraid of what will happen to her if everything ground to a halt.

Is it possible to sit down over a cup of tea and have a very frank discussion with her? You are in a truly difficult position and I really feel for you.

I'm up for smuggling in Mia * Number* I shall have a word with our young ninja as to the best method of entry. xx

I had to laugh at that Tizliz ...what ( if anything) goes through some men's minds eh?

My father was a teacher. His handkerchiefs were always full of chalk dust - far more than could just have fallen into his pocket.

Tizliz I would remove anything half decent and give him a jumper fit for the bin to wear.

Here we are again...it's a pleasure to be a member of the Kitchen gang inc.

cornergran Your post made me smile. You certainly have a gift for interacting sensitively with us lot...bless you.

First thing that I wish to say is...number your email brought tears to my eyes. I doubt that many of us are going through such a tough time as you are experiencing right now. You have coped magnificently with all the challenges your husband's ill health has presented. For both your sakes, I wish that your husband's request to go home is made possible.

millymouge Several eloquent and wise Gransnetters have given you sound advice. I applaud you. You have been a long term supportive "younger sister" and now, it is high time that your sister and you and your husband have a serious discussion about arranging a more complete care package. There is absolutely no way that you can continue with the present arrangement. I hope that your holiday in Norfolk will refresh you (and the dogs) so that you can return with a more suitable plan of action.

wot Animals make up their own minds when it comes to a favourite place to relax. Rory has several suitable cushions and blankets scattered around the house. Yet he either perches on a too-narrow stool (leg slipping off as time passes) or MacSporran's lap (no matter whether it's convenient or not)

Tizliz

Nelliem I agree...certain rules beg to be "adapted" accordingly.

I am NOT doing well today. Planning to do braised leeks I washed, cut them up etc and put them in sauté pan with butter and a little water, put it on a heat diffuser and went outside to clear dog poos. Got a bit sidetracked by giving the vine a tiny haircut just because the picnic table underneath is virtually out of bounds and yes, I hadn't turned the gas right down and yes, I burned the leeks. Horrible smell. But thank you to whoever told me about boiling up a little biological stuff in a pan to remove the burnt bits.
So in the absence of leeks we had broccoli (which we don't much like, but it was in my veg box this week. I usually make broccoli and Stilton soup with it. )
DH actually commented that it tasted better than usual, I had cooked it just right- washed, cut into florets etc etc
it was then I saw the (cooked) caterpillar on my plate...........
See what I mean about a bad day?

Oh well at least it wasn't a wriggly, squirming, live one db. And at least you saw it. But then again, had you not seen it you'd have known nothing about it.

number I do hope something has been put in place by now though I know how protracted these things can be. It sounds as though Mr N would be greatly cheered up by seeing Mia so hope that can somehow be arranged. Cat might need a lead in case she runs off though? Do let us know how things are. It sounds as though you have a very supportive family and hopefully that's taking the strain off you a bit. I'm sure you are ready to drop when you get home. X

DaphneB I like your elegant picnic table.
About the burnt leeks... us lot have managed to do something similar whilst "multi-tasking" (something my dear husband is incapable of doing)...
As a child, I recall showing "Sir" that I had, what may have been, a live caterpillar on my lettuce. "Sir" picked it off the lettuce and swallowed it. He remarked...mmmm, that was delicious!
We have broccoli almost every day. Rich in nutrients.

Huge winds are forecast for our region later today. Whenever the weather is iffy, we can count on the power being cut. In the event of this occurring, I apologise for appearing to ignore you lot...it will be a case of notifying our bags and asking her to be my personal messenger.