Gransnet Xmas Panto.

I would like to point out that with all the bribery and corruption in today's news, I will not be open to bribes for the best parts, I am incorruptible, however if you you don't believe me and wish to try, my account number is 666987123 ........ (after all I am the Evil Baron Hardup)

Just off for coffee with friends, then a supermarket shop a previously booked appointment with my hairdresser darlings. I may be a little late so please don't worry about starting without me Ann. I'll soon catch up when I get there and I'm sure Wobbly can pluck his uke in accompaniment as well as do stage direction

Oh no - on grandchild duty from 3.30 to 9.30pm. Need an understudy - quick! Can send the charcoal knickers, guaranteed to arrive in time. Will be along to help if I can.

Like every good "back end of a cow" I am just finishing off my end of quarter accounts fashionably late. But I'm here at last cornergran pheww

Pleased to see you gilly, major relief. Was hoping to be directed from the rear . Can half a cow go to the rehearsal or shall both halves send apologies and be considering how we can make a dramatic entrance next time and avoid being roasted by the dragon? I still fancy a dance - maybe we could design the costume? Quite fancy pink and purple myself, maybe with a splash or orange to ensure the audience can see us easily!

cornergran I have a nasty feeling that the audience will see yourself and gillybob cavorting on and off the stage irrespective of what you wear. Has either of you ever had any dance lessons? If not that is something that must be arranged.

Dance lessons Charleygirl? Are you joking?

Cows don't dance they just kind of walk sideways and cross their legs don't they? . I will google dancing cows forthwith just to be on the safe side, however me being the back end means I will just follow cornergrans lead anyway.

I don't think half a cow could rehearse cornergran ! It would be the back with a droopy front or the front with a droopy back neither of which would be ideal. I am all for the dramatic entrance though. I was thinking maybe on roller skates? Although would have to be synchronised or we could split our differences !

Mind you I do love the costume colour you suggested. we would look like Bovine Licorice Allsorts !

For myself I was told that dancing wasn't my strong point when I tried last. Bit of a coordination issue it seems. Still, four legs should be easier than two, shouldn't they? . I have faith in the back end to direct. .

Have transferred your initial payment of £100,000.00 into your account this afternoon Wobblybits as agreed. just to ensure mine and cornergrans dramatic entrance onto the stage. Please don't make this pubic knowledge though, as I would hate anyone to think I had tried to buy the director.

Don't make it PUBLIC knowledge either !

Gilly .

Gilly! A Freudian slip perhaps?

I think maybe it was the typing of "Wobblybits" that did it Galen

I can hardly walk in these charcoal knickers. I'm wearing 2 pairs just to be on the safe side. Am patrolling the foyer with my ice creams in case anyone in the dress rehearsal fancies a Cornetto. Please don't be put off by any sudden loud noises that may emanate from my direction.

Oh dear Jane10 I find them quite comfortable to wear. Rather pleasant actually

Don't be frightened to slip them off if you get too uncomfortable though, maybe just tuck them under your tubs until later.

They certainly might help to keep the ice creams cooler but I think I might be a health and safety disaster area without them in situ. I don't want the management to get into trouble.

Sorry, a bit late getting home, went to Dunwich, which was further than we planned. So if you are ready the stage is set, Off to open new thread.

www.gransnet.com/forums/culture_arts/1230249-Aladdin-and-his-Ugly-Sisters-aided-and-abetted-by-cows-dragons-and-many-other-dodgy-characters-Oh-yes-and-a-sprinkling-of-fairy-dust

Had to be in the Arts & Culture section.

Go thespians go ..........................

The winch is tested, the stage is fireproofed the H&S officer is here, the fireman is standing by, Jane is running out of ice cream.

The audience is revolting -- waiting for the action.

Finish your tea and get on stage ...... anyone

Can someone take over the direction please, I have to take a break from GN for a while.

Wobbly we need you to coordinate this panto. Come back soon.

I have faith in wobbly returning, plenty of time before first performance.

Sorry, gilly but the front end of your panto cow in its glorious outfit is poorly, nothing that won't go away but likely to take a day or three, so I might miss important things, like fittings for roller skates. Do feel free to get a stand in if needed, will crash back in as soon as I can.

What do you think about a waltz on roller skates as our opening number? I had considered a jive but couldn't keep up the pace. Thinking about the liquorice allsorts, if we assume the personalof a friesian cow we would have it all covered, black, white and the colours. Definitely hard to miss

How about we go completely OTT and have the whole Panto on Ice.

Still waiting for Wobblybits to return.

Is Wobblybits O K, bit worried about him

I'm OK, having a humour loss atm, but I will be back soon.