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What would you change about your husband or partner if you could "turn back time"?

(98 Posts)
Daddima Thu 21-Jul-16 22:06:55

Apologies to Cher!

I am happy with the Bodach, but I'd have liked it if he was a wee bit more interested in cooking, and food in general.

He is also visually impaired, in that he suffers from dirt blindness. He sees no reason why the lavatory needs to be cleaned more than once every three days.

FarNorth Fri 22-Jul-16 13:44:28

Not smoking would have been good.

I wish we had both been a bit older and more mature when we had kids as we would have been better parents.

lindilou Fri 22-Jul-16 14:06:34

Same as you durhamjen & Mumsy ?

millymouge Fri 22-Jul-16 14:57:41

I wouldn't change anything about him. He will suddenly look at me and tell me he loves me and how lucky he is. After 50 years I think he must really mean it. We met and were married within 6 months, and I always think my life really started after that. Bless him.

SunnySusie Fri 22-Jul-16 14:59:04

I would like a husband who sits down to eat breakfast rather than standing in front of the kettle, cooker, cutlery drawer and sink every day eating grapefruit. On reflection if thats the most irritating thing about him after 40 years of marriage perhaps things are not so bad! I am quite curious now to find out what he would say if asked this question about me.

TriciaF Fri 22-Jul-16 16:19:42

I wouldn't change mine, in spite of some of his difficult ways.
I still see him as the person who rescued me from an abusive first marriage, and took on the burden of my 3 children. They all still love him. I took on his daughter.
I think kindness is the most important thing.

Sheilasue Fri 22-Jul-16 16:29:13

Stop worrying about every little thing, don't stress but apart from that he's a gooden

Bbnan Fri 22-Jul-16 16:54:38

Not a thing.
After 40 years together....we are partners friends lovers and soul mates.
We met when I was 17 just after my mum died and his family became mine.
Times were tough and we found out we could not have children we were devasted.
We luckily enough adopted 2 boys who mean everything to us......we now have a 1 yr old grandaughter who we adore......of course we have our little odd habits but overall get on great. Due to retire next year and blessed with each other.

numberplease Fri 22-Jul-16 17:50:19

I`d drill into him the need for a wash and shave and change of clothes. every day, rather than when he`s going somewhere, which is once a week at most. But after 53 years I think I`m on a losing horse!

homefarm Fri 22-Jul-16 17:52:13

Snap

Jaxie Fri 22-Jul-16 19:29:48

He's a morose stingy bast--d. He was a lighthearted, amusing fellow when we married in 1964. Perhaps it's being married to me wot dunnit.

hulahoop Fri 22-Jul-16 19:37:53

wish he didn't get worked up about traffic when driving and talking to television if he doesn't agree with what's been said , but I have faults as well and he as been a great support to me while I have been going through a bad time grandkids love him warts and all

WilmaKnickersfit Fri 22-Jul-16 19:50:22

I wish my DH would worry less and dream more.

Piggypoo Fri 22-Jul-16 20:58:39

Picking his discarded clothes off his side of the bedroom, I wish he'd learnt to do that! His Mum mollycoddled him, I refused to pick up after him, until one day, we were going to a christening, and he realised that he'd nothing to wear, he'd got used to me running round after him like an idiot!

katynana Fri 22-Jul-16 22:18:39

Very little, tho' I cringe whenever he calls me 'moi dear'. Sounds just like Fagin in the film version. Most of the rest of the little niggles have been around for the past 50+ years that we have happily spent together (pre and post marriage).

Lisalou Sat 23-Jul-16 06:52:41

I would change that we met so late. We have been together 13 years, have a daughter in common and two children from my first marriage which he treats as his own.
He has his faults and I have mine, but I wouldnt change him. I didnt marry him to change him. Therein lies the mistake.
Although I do sympathise with the wearing good clothes to garden or do some DIY...

seasider Sat 23-Jul-16 07:14:44

Oh Wilma I have one of those. He is an eternal pessimist!

Lozzamas Sat 23-Jul-16 07:31:50

He's about the only person in the world that would put up with me... It's his fault I've turned into a nag, so he has to. He's opinionated, untidy, tends towards lazy given half a chance, but I nag him and he gives me the put upon look and does what he's told ... eventually, and we make a great team and I love him. 38 happyish years and counting he was fiendishly handsome and athletic in our youth - he's largely gone to seed now, but he's kind and generous and that endures better than looks, just wish he'd stop ranting at the T.V.

Luckygirl Sat 23-Jul-16 08:28:06

I would deprogramme his anxiety - it has blighted his life, poor chap, and to a degree also ours.

I am intrigued by one of these posts which says her OH thinks the toilet only needs cleaning every three days. ONLY! - ours does not see a toilet brush from one week to the next! We all seem to survive.

Badenkate Sat 23-Jul-16 08:33:17

Nothing. He's loving and generous. There's plenty I'd change about me though sad

Gononsuch Sat 23-Jul-16 09:13:30

Just being nosy, MaryXXX please tell the grounds for divorce?

I think it was because you were having an affair.smile

Marmight Sat 23-Jul-16 09:47:59

I would have him alive. Same as lindilou Durham and Mumsy. He had his faults, not many (toilet brush comes to mind grin) but so did I.

angie95 Sat 23-Jul-16 10:01:31

OOH that was wrong Nannylovesshopping, I am sorry,
I think the only thing I would change is his forever " I;ll do it in a minute, " and months later, he is still saying it grrrr just like his dad,, but otherwise, nope, he is fine just the way he is, ooh maybe get him to read!! as I love books, and he doesn't,,

MaryXYX Sat 23-Jul-16 10:33:28

Gononsuch: Nice idea but no. The official grounds was that I had been cross dressing. Back then I was the husband and hadn't reached the point of deciding I'm really a woman.

Neversaydie Sat 23-Jul-16 12:10:56

Wearing best clothes "round the house'Have even tried writing best on the labels .Have to resort to hanging in spare room wardobe and bringing out when he's 'allowed' to wear them (I wouldn't mind but he'sitting at a desk a lot of the time and his jumpers go all bobbly .He also spills things and doesnt notice )
He has become more anxious and risk averse as we've got older I sometimes wish he were more adventurous

Humbertbear Sat 23-Jul-16 18:38:54

I'd just like him to want to have a bit more fun and be a bit more spontaneous and not always find fault with suggested plans.