Present or no present?

DH's birthday today. I gave him a card which reads, "Forget about the past, you can't change it. Forget about the future, you can't predict it. Forget about the present, I didn't get you one."

Back to the thread.

I so agree no presents means no presents !! At my mum's 100th birthday quite a few friends left donations and my sister donated £500 to 2 local charities in Mums name..

We tend to take no present to these occasions of specified but sometimes send or take flowers the following week to say thank you for the pArty. Then they get them when all the other flowers have died and its sll a bit anticlimatic (if that's a word?)

A lady from church invited the whole congregation to her 90th birthday party, which was held at the church and specified "No presents."
I went with our daughter, as we were both very fond of her and took her a single red rose and she was chuffed to bits with it!

jbf - love that card

No presents means you shouldn't take a gift. Popping round for a cuppa with a packet of biscuits next week might be nice. Last December a local lady celebrated her birthday and requested guests bought toys which she donated to local children. I'm a family support worker and, alongside my colleagues, I distributed a number of appropriate Christmas presents (secretly) to my families. However the invite says no gifts. A card is the right thing. You have done the right thing.

A friend was invited to a Diamond Wedding anniversary which stated no presents. She felt she couldn't go with nothing so took them a lovely tin of biscuits. It wasn't even acknowledged. My friend was most upset.

I think the donation to charity in the birthday person's name is a good idea.

I can't see that there's any grey area here - if someone has specified no presents, their wishes should be respected. A card is all that's needed. Especially if it's the one jingl gave to her husband

This is always a difficult one as I am sure that everyone who has been invited will feel as you do. I think that the charity donation is an excellent idea and I feel sure that the Birthday person would be really pleased at such a very thoughtful gift, I know that I would be.
However, I would also love to be presented with a saucy thong, that would completely and utterly make my day !!

We have always said your presence only, please. no presents. Thank goodness everyone has complied with this request.

Thank you everyone for your kind, amusing and sensible views. I will pop a donation into a charity box tomorrow.
The party was a great success, a good time was had by all and I saw very little evidence of gifts.

1974cookie. I expect your OH would have been pleased as well

I think the invitation to dinner is a great idea

I like the idea of the Reverse Book Club. Thanks for the tip, frue. I've just Googled it and will ask family to subscribe instead of giving me any more 'stuff'. I've already requested gifts from Save the Children wishlist.